Monday, September 08, 2008

Well That Was Quick

Well it's over!

No sooner had it begun, did it fizzle out like a lead balloon.

I feel somewhat relieved, yet also a little saddened - she had much potential, but seemed anchored by her past and felt comfortable clinging on to the "clinical depression" tag.


Get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you, and if you EVER think you've got it bad go walk through a children's hospital. It will certainly change your perspective on life when you see kids who'll never make it past a tenth of your age! If anything they're the ones who should be miserable with life because they'll never get to live it!

Anyway, I said a few parting words, pretty much to the same effect as those last couple of sentences (which probably wasn't the most tactful way in helping someone with depression), but to be honest I didn't care. I'm no shrink, and I know with the small bout of depression I had it wasn't until I faced the REAL reasons for why I was fearing or failing to face the pain that when I did I was able to find out what I needed to do to get better.

Pain can be a wonderful thing, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time, but it helps us to know what's wrong and what needs fixing! All we need do is face it, which can be tough, but when you're sick and tired of feeling that dull senseless pain you'll eventually arrive at a point where you'll do anything to get out of it. It's here where change starts and the results upon breaking this barrier can be so instant that you'll look back at those dark days and wonder how on earth you let your silly self get control.

Hopefully some of the advice hit a nerve for Shaye today.

I dunno.

At least it's really good news for me... I now KNOW and can move on with my life.

And it's always better to know now rather than spend weeks and months playing "nice" wasting time and money when in the end things are never going to happen.

However, I can't help but begin to get a little cynical as my mate Willo has often stated about women these days: are there really any normal ones out there??

OH, and isn't it good that I get to keep my blog title! ;-P


Likalia said...


There are normal women out there we are just far outnumbered by the abnormal ones. :)

Yay on keeping your blog title.

Miss Caught Up said...

I agree with likalia. You have to go through a lot of wackos before finding a less whacked out woman lol

Oh, yeah! You didn't put Eyes on the "Favorite Male Body Part" poll. Besides the ass I would have to say eyes.. eyes always gets me. Oh! And a wicked smile. :)

Ryan said...

Likalia -> I don't mind the abnormal ones, just so long as their abnormality doesn't scare me, or complements my abnormalities.

MCU -> Facial parts are the next survey. Stay tuned. ;-)

Jenn said...

As much as I would like to sympathize with you, clinical depression has nothing to do with a lack of acknowledging suffering or an inability to realize that others are suffering. It is often a life long struggle, a conscious understanding of ones one sub-conscious - you live everyday knowing the danger zones of yourself and when the medication needs to start. I being genetically predisposed live knowing that hospitalization is very likely regardless of my desire for other things, regardless of the fact that what I currently am dealing with is unrelated. Clinical depression is about chemicals and isn't about I feel poopey today.

I realize you were hurt and your response based in that, if she is clinically depressed - diagnosed as such you should be encouraging her towards counseling and therapeutic environments and for the love, please do not say just pray harder - I've heard that one too many times from men and you know what, it's not spiritual dryness, this is a life numbing, function altering disease that cripples the ability to eat, sleep, feel, dream, move forward or enjoy anything in life as much as you desire to do so, it's not minor nor is it something to be dewelled on - self pity does not help - so if she's doing that then yes she needs to get the help she needs to move forward be that medication, journaling, meditation, counseling, psychotherapy or a combination of the above.

Just as you wonder about where the "sane" ones are know that she wonders where the ones who are gracious enough to learn and understand are.

Ryan said...

Hi Jenn,

Thank you very much for your response.

Having been someone who battled depression for a season and reflecting back upon it now I'm beginning to think that eating unhealthily, doing little exercise, or too much exercise (to mask the deadening pain), were mere symptoms of the problem that exacerbated the problem... but they were not the causes.

I believe the underlying root cause is a combination of one or more of: selfishness, hopelessness and/or irresponsibility.

As Christians I don't think God wants to see us depressed all the time - sure it happens, but we shouldn't wallow and mope around in it. He wants us to be Spirit filled with all those lovely goodies: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23), but to do so we need to walk in the Spirit (Gal 5:24-25).

If a Christian is struggling with depression I'd strongly encourage a Spirit check (journaling or godly counselling), and would also strongly encourage weaning off any medication - but as I'm no doctor the last recommendation would be a cautious one.

I am more than willing to offer my help and encouragement to anyone who may be going through such issues. I know it's not easy, but you can do it.

As they say, if you feel like you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death... keep walking. Don't stop!