Ugh. What is it with women these days???
Whatever happened to vivacious carefree women who aren't fearful and prepared to give anything a go?
Okay, what's happened...
The relationship between Shaye and I has been going very well. Last Saturday my family had a dinner with some friends of mine, and prior to this event I asked if it'd be okay with the folks if I could include one more face - Shaye... provided she was up for it. Of course, my parents, being the amazing people they are, were more than willing to accommodate another face.
Now I know meeting family is a HUGE STEP in ANY relationship, so I emphasised a HUGE disclaimer when I invited Shaye along...
"I won't think of you any less if you do not wish to come, but having known you a little (and my parents all my life) I know that you'll be fine with this invite, BUT again it's a BIG step and it will not bother me if you say no. I will completely understand."
Of course, she said yes.
And while she was a little nervous initially on the night (which I expected) she did very very well and the night went swimmingly.
She then decided to do the same to me and asked if I'd be interested in attending her sister's birthday the next day, and even though she similarly prefaced the invitation as I had, I accepted her invite and said that I'd love to go.
Again, as with Saturday night we had an awesome time.
We capped the weekend off with a few first kisses which, in my male mind, sealed our relationship as more than just good friends.
(As everyone here knows, I have this odd-ball belief that friends don't pash, they can peck, but not pash - if you pash you're more than just friends.)
Anyhoo, returning back home that night I switched on my computer, which I hadn't all weekend, and noticed a few emails, one of which was a friend from university confirming a friend request. So, I logged in to Facebook, added him as a friend and decided to update my relationship status to "In a Relationship with Shaye."
Next day at uni this didn't go down too well.
For the life of me I couldn't quite understand it, but when her friends congratulated her on the status change (which she hadn't confirmed BTW) she was a little flustered by it all.
"Why did you make a public declaration about our private discussion that we had last night?" she asked unpleased.
"Huh?? I updated my status on Facebook from single to 'in a relationship' - what's the fuss?? And how is telling friends on a public website I'm in a relationship with someone different to us holding hands in public where friends from uni have seen us??"
"That's a big step, Ryan."
"Whaaaaat?? Letting people know I'm pursuing someone and am not 'single' is a big step??"
"People are now asking whether we're boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Who cares what they call us?? I've been called far worse believe me!"
"I think you're moving waaaay too fast. We haven't even developed a solid friendship yet."
"Rrrrriiiiight. So, we're just friends that kiss then?? Do you do this to all your other good male friends too??"
"I need space, we've seen each other every day during the last week!"
"Ummm, that's what getting to know each other is all about. See, we do stuff together, interact and communicate and stuff, and see if the chemistry's there or not, and keep doing it until one day we either pop or I pop an important question. How else are we meant to get to know each other, through osmosis???"
As you can tell I was a little frustrated.
I mean you put yourself out there and give a relationship the best effort you can at the start to see how it goes, knowing that even if it did fail the LEAST you could ever say was, "Well, I gave it my best, we didn't fail because of my lack of trying."
But when you're up against someone who won't even try, or worse, who uses some lame excuse that her mum and sister were always uncertain when they first dated the very men they married which therefore means that it's okay to have this weird emotionless detached condition because it's... in... her... genes!?!?!?
You can go genetical all by yourself I think. And if you want space, you've got it girl. You want to sort out all your problems first, then go for it too.
Are there any normal women out there? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder.
Stuff saving the whales... where are all the normal women!!!
Oh well, I guess we'll see how things pan out over the next couple of weeks - we only have 4 weeks left of university together before we are off for practicum (another reason why I wanted to do as much as I could with this chic to see if she was worth changing my future plans for when we graduate at the end of the year as we could be placed anywhere next year!).
She's certainly dropping the ball on this one.