Saturday, September 13, 2008

Two Things

There were two things I valued with the whatever-it-was-ship that Shaye and I had, and they were dancing and dressing.

I'll start with dressing.

Okay, I'm colourblind. I've got it pretty bad.

See these little stupid dot things, I haven't got the foggiest idea what number or letter is in them!?

To me they're just a silly hodpodge of dots.

I could use my imagination and picture something, like I do with clouds, but nup - can't see any numbers.

(I'm curious to actually what is there BTW.)

So... when it's come to style and attire I've always been, well, let's say plain.

I've tried venturing out on my own, believe me, and the results have been a little embarrassing. One time I bought these tops that I thought were "nice", only to have friends and family ask why I was wearing that ridiculous pink!


"Yes, P-I-N-K. Are you turning on us?"

Thankfully I was able to take such clothing back for a refund!

But yes, clothes shopping isn't fun, and Shaye could tell I needed a makeover.

"You wear such baggy clothing too," she said as we walked into our first store, "you wear clothes much bigger than you think."

I tried on some of her first selections, that felt quite tight - a tightness I hadn't felt in awhile.

"WOW!" she stared, "that looks fantastic on you! You have such an amazing figure you need to emphasise it. Now what size jeans are you?"

"I'm 38."

"You're 38??"


"No, you're not 38, surely. 38's too big."

"Nah, I swear I'm 38, I got a big ass."

After requesting the opinion of a third party she grabbed the nearest salesperson who came over and sized me up.

"You're not a 38 mate," he said, "you're a 36."

Wow, I thought, I've lost a size from doing nothing!

And sure enough I squeezed into a pair of 36 jeans.


It was a good experience. I tried clothes I never would've tried, and was quite surprised at the results.

I'll definitely be getting a new wardrobe full of clothes this summer!

Then there was dancing.

Another thing I was completely foreign too, but not scared to try... and by the end of my first ever night I actually really enjoyed it.

I think every guy should learn how to dance, because I found there were two things that I learnt that night which most guys should know about women:
1. The importance of leading, and
2. The art of subtlety.

The first point is fairly obvious, and is something that most guys *should* know, although I will admit I've seen many fail to do. You're a man, she's a woman, women love men, therefore be a man. Simple.

However, the second thought I found a little interesting.

See, during a dance routine the woman needs to know what is coming next, and the way the guy does this is by signalling her in certain ways that let's her know what to expect. Some signals vary from brushing the arm, back or shoulder, others can be a little more obvious with the placement of the hand. All are meant to prepare the woman for what happens next. And I think this is what most guys struggle with when it comes to women: truly understanding the power of small simple stuff.

Most guys think that if they gun down a wild boar, or climb Mt Everest, women will flock to them, and while I think there is SOME truth to it, the subtle stuff is where the real power to getting a woman's attention.

Anyway, just stuff I found interesting and pondered out aloud, ideally I'd love to be able to do dancing again, I enjoyed myself and got a good workout.

Overall though these two experiences I'll take, value and thank Shaye for, so I'm glad that it wasn't a complete waste of time... I learnt heaps!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Food Cravings

Don't know why but over the last two days I've had a craving for spinach and ricotta rolls.

Thankfully I've satiated my cravings each day, but today I had to have two.

Hopefully it and the trend stops, I don't want to be eating a dozen of the lil suckers by next weekend!

(Maybe I'm pregnant?)


What was your last food craving, and was it satiated?

Monday, September 08, 2008

Well That Was Quick

Well it's over!

No sooner had it begun, did it fizzle out like a lead balloon.

I feel somewhat relieved, yet also a little saddened - she had much potential, but seemed anchored by her past and felt comfortable clinging on to the "clinical depression" tag.


Get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you, and if you EVER think you've got it bad go walk through a children's hospital. It will certainly change your perspective on life when you see kids who'll never make it past a tenth of your age! If anything they're the ones who should be miserable with life because they'll never get to live it!

Anyway, I said a few parting words, pretty much to the same effect as those last couple of sentences (which probably wasn't the most tactful way in helping someone with depression), but to be honest I didn't care. I'm no shrink, and I know with the small bout of depression I had it wasn't until I faced the REAL reasons for why I was fearing or failing to face the pain that when I did I was able to find out what I needed to do to get better.

Pain can be a wonderful thing, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time, but it helps us to know what's wrong and what needs fixing! All we need do is face it, which can be tough, but when you're sick and tired of feeling that dull senseless pain you'll eventually arrive at a point where you'll do anything to get out of it. It's here where change starts and the results upon breaking this barrier can be so instant that you'll look back at those dark days and wonder how on earth you let your silly self get control.

Hopefully some of the advice hit a nerve for Shaye today.

I dunno.

At least it's really good news for me... I now KNOW and can move on with my life.

And it's always better to know now rather than spend weeks and months playing "nice" wasting time and money when in the end things are never going to happen.

However, I can't help but begin to get a little cynical as my mate Willo has often stated about women these days: are there really any normal ones out there??

OH, and isn't it good that I get to keep my blog title! ;-P

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

It's All Good

Just been on the phone with Shaye over the last couple of hours regarding issues raised from my last post.

It's all good.

Things that were said last night weren't meant to be said, and it wasn't until she admitted that she needed a good verbal slap that I began to feel much better (I'm one who loves meting out good slaps when someone's being a bit of an idiot!). And I'm glad that, provided it's done in love, she's not afraid in receiving it.

Anyway, the day started bad, went badly, but ended on a high.

I'm glad this chic is good with conflict resolution.

She really wants to make it work.

Oh, and happy birthday sis, sorry... I was a little preoccupied this evening.

Outta Space

Never thought I'd be posting so soon in here, but I'm glad I have this little quiet place to vent.

Ugh. What is it with women these days???

Whatever happened to vivacious carefree women who aren't fearful and prepared to give anything a go?

Okay, what's happened...

The relationship between Shaye and I has been going very well. Last Saturday my family had a dinner with some friends of mine, and prior to this event I asked if it'd be okay with the folks if I could include one more face - Shaye... provided she was up for it. Of course, my parents, being the amazing people they are, were more than willing to accommodate another face.

Now I know meeting family is a HUGE STEP in ANY relationship, so I emphasised a HUGE disclaimer when I invited Shaye along...

"I won't think of you any less if you do not wish to come, but having known you a little (and my parents all my life) I know that you'll be fine with this invite, BUT again it's a BIG step and it will not bother me if you say no. I will completely understand."

Of course, she said yes.

And while she was a little nervous initially on the night (which I expected) she did very very well and the night went swimmingly.

She then decided to do the same to me and asked if I'd be interested in attending her sister's birthday the next day, and even though she similarly prefaced the invitation as I had, I accepted her invite and said that I'd love to go.

Again, as with Saturday night we had an awesome time.

We capped the weekend off with a few first kisses which, in my male mind, sealed our relationship as more than just good friends.

(As everyone here knows, I have this odd-ball belief that friends don't pash, they can peck, but not pash - if you pash you're more than just friends.)

Anyhoo, returning back home that night I switched on my computer, which I hadn't all weekend, and noticed a few emails, one of which was a friend from university confirming a friend request. So, I logged in to Facebook, added him as a friend and decided to update my relationship status to "In a Relationship with Shaye."


Next day at uni this didn't go down too well.

For the life of me I couldn't quite understand it, but when her friends congratulated her on the status change (which she hadn't confirmed BTW) she was a little flustered by it all.

"Why did you make a public declaration about our private discussion that we had last night?" she asked unpleased.

"Huh?? I updated my status on Facebook from single to 'in a relationship' - what's the fuss?? And how is telling friends on a public website I'm in a relationship with someone different to us holding hands in public where friends from uni have seen us??"

"That's a big step, Ryan."

"Whaaaaat?? Letting people know I'm pursuing someone and am not 'single' is a big step??"

"People are now asking whether we're boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Who cares what they call us?? I've been called far worse believe me!"

"I think you're moving waaaay too fast. We haven't even developed a solid friendship yet."

"Rrrrriiiiight. So, we're just friends that kiss then?? Do you do this to all your other good male friends too??"

"I need space, we've seen each other every day during the last week!"

"Ummm, that's what getting to know each other is all about. See, we do stuff together, interact and communicate and stuff, and see if the chemistry's there or not, and keep doing it until one day we either pop or I pop an important question. How else are we meant to get to know each other, through osmosis???"

As you can tell I was a little frustrated.

I mean you put yourself out there and give a relationship the best effort you can at the start to see how it goes, knowing that even if it did fail the LEAST you could ever say was, "Well, I gave it my best, we didn't fail because of my lack of trying."

But when you're up against someone who won't even try, or worse, who uses some lame excuse that her mum and sister were always uncertain when they first dated the very men they married which therefore means that it's okay to have this weird emotionless detached condition because it's... in... her... genes!?!?!?


You can go genetical all by yourself I think. And if you want space, you've got it girl. You want to sort out all your problems first, then go for it too.


Are there any normal women out there? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder.

Stuff saving the whales... where are all the normal women!!!

Oh well, I guess we'll see how things pan out over the next couple of weeks - we only have 4 weeks left of university together before we are off for practicum (another reason why I wanted to do as much as I could with this chic to see if she was worth changing my future plans for when we graduate at the end of the year as we could be placed anywhere next year!).

She's certainly dropping the ball on this one.