Friday, April 04, 2008

Beware Of Nurses

I have to admit nurses scare me a little. Those chics in white dress are like wolves in sheep's clothing.

Interestingly (or weirdly!) I came across this joke today:

10 Reasons Why Nurses Make Such Perfect Partners:
1) They can help you get over a hangover or sickness
2) Bedbaths!
3) The uniform
4) They are exposed to so many xrays, its like a form of birth control
5) You will never need to buy condoms, paracetamol, toothbrushes or any hospital supplies
6) They know how to handle bodily fluids!
7) Nothing shocks a nurse, they have always seen smaller or indeed bigger!
8) They wont be disgusted by your toilet habits
9) They are experienced in manual evacuation when your full of crap
10) They know how to handle the human body

And my rebuttal to those would be...

10 Reasons Why Nurses Should Freak Any Single Bloke Out:

1) They know the male body a little too well - anybody spell manipulation?
2) Two words: truth serum - need I say anymore guys??
3) They have a habit of bringing their work home with them - I really don't want AIDS
4) They know 1,642,352 different ways to die
5) They know tranquilisers
6) They can handle and use a syringe
7) They know how to remove and replace certain body parts, if not, they know of somebody who can!
8) They glow in the dark due to x-ray exposure
9) Their lips have been on semi-dead people (CPR)
10) They know how much you're worth, and it has nothing to do with your possessions - just think organs and black market!

See, this is why guys need to be careful around nurses. And whatever you do guys, don't EVER divorce them should you marry one - they wont just take half of the estate they'll take half of you too (read point 10 again)!


Oh, and I thought this joke was pretty funny too...

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell??
It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!



Jenn said...

I have to agree in the sense I learned quickly working in medical offices for the last 10 years and spending quite a bit of my life around nurses (friends and family) it warps you - your sense of humor, what you see as normal etc - I know my sense of appropriate conversation around medical topics is vastly more open and honest than anyone not in the field.

Ryan said...

Hmm, you have me curious now Jenn, care to elaborate a little more?

How is your conversation different?

Do you just trust someone in the medical profession more and can reveal to them about yourself? Or am I going on the wrong tangent?

See. Me -> curious. ;-)

Jen said...


I think its partly because you become desensitized to things that would normally gross out or shock other people.

When your in the nursing have seen it all and you get used to it.

Ryan said...

That's probably another I should add on the 10 reasons why guys need to be careful about nurses list:

11) Guys will never be able to please/satisfy nurses... they've seen it all!


Jenn said...

Ryan the other Jen basically said it one there is little to nothing that is taboo when it comes to discussion about medical related topics, as well if you get two or more "medical people" in a group the conversation seems to inevitably steer in that direction.

As to trusting someone in the medical profession more? It depends if they know you know what they are talking about then yes - they give you more information, but the opposite can happen and that's frustrating - they intentionally give you the same song and dance about they would give the general public.