The American Way of Romance
The following exchange took place on Craigslist, the New York community message board:
"What am I doing wrong? I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm over-reaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips?
I dated a businessman who made around 200-250K. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won't get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right?
Here are my questions specifically:
# Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms.
# What are you looking for in a mate?
# Is there an age range I should be targeting?
# Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? What's the story there?
# Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do these guys really make? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
# How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY."
An Investment Banker's Response:
"I qualify as a guy who fits your bill - I make more than $500K per year. Here's how I see it: Your offer is a plain and simple crappy business deal. What you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money.
But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity - in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. In Wall Street terms, we'd call you a trading position - not a buy and hold. It doesn't make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you're asking) - so I'd rather lease.
The deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage."
Now I don't know the authenticity of this interaction (well, it was from Craigslist!), but if it's true I find it interesting that there's a woman who is looking to marry primarily based on money.
I guess the equivalent for blokes would be looks.
Would you marry for money? Would you marry for looks?
Personally I wouldn't care about how wealthy or poor my woman is, but I think this would be different for women on men though, especially considering that guys should be the bread-winner in the household. But what about looks? I guess it would be similar to how a woman responds to whether she'd marry a guy for money.
Most women, I would think, would say something to the effect of "They'd need to have a stable job/income." In essence, there needs to be something. I think it would similarly apply to my answer on a woman's looks - there needs to be something.
I couldn't imagine marrying somebody where it would make me cringe kissing them!
While personality and their faith in Christ are highly esteemed in my eyes for a potential partner I can't overlook looks.
(Overlook looks... lol)