Some say it doesn't. Others say it does.
I have to admit I've always been in the "it does" camp. My mate Willo on the other hand will take whatever he can get and doesn't care about the digits.
But why do I apply this standard, why is it important for a woman to be between a certain age for me?
To be honest I don't know!?!?!?
The earliest time I can remember using this "filter" on a chic was in high school. I was in my final year at the ripe old age of 17, and she in her first year at the tender age of 13. (I wrote about that crush back in September 2005.)
But back then I can remember the age difference between us being HUGE (well 4 years was nearly a third of her life!!), and I'll embarrassingly admit that I thought I was also going to be the laughing stock of my mates (but wasn't it illegal to look at girls that way before they were 16!?!). lol
So yeah I don't know why I thought that back then. I know we kept in contact for a couple more years after when I graduated, but each passing correspondence drew us apart. I guess she got tired of waiting.
It was interesting though how several weeks before the post on Willo's phone call Willo and I were discussing age... well... he was more like teasing and I was discussing.
I remember how it started. He began talking about some chics that he had met...
"... and then there's also Jess, yeah she's nice."
"But how old are all these women you've just mentioned?"
Now Willo is older than me. So I let out a bit of a sigh. He had dated younger women before and the results weren't good.
"Dude, they're too young. They don't know what they want. One month you could be flavour of the month, next you're at the end of the line."
Willo laughed it off and then began his interrogation...
"Are you meaning to tell me that if the most perfect chic entered your life and she was 20 years old you wouldn't date her."
I thought about it for a bit.
"If she had everything?"
"Everything," he echoed.
"I don't think I could," I said, "it just feels weird dating someone 10 years younger than you. You'd be talking about things that she wouldn't understand because she hadn't even been born yet!"
"You'd talk about Astroboy on a date!?!?" Willo joked.
"I just don't think the maturity is there in younger women," I concluded hoping that was enough.
But it wasn't. Willo hadn't finished hypothesising...
"What if Livinia Nixon said 'Ryan, I want to marry you.'"
I didn't quite understand whether he was getting some enjoyment out of this, but I cringed at the thought.
"C'mon," he added, "she's a couple of years older than you. Are you telling me you wouldn't date the second hottest chic on the planet (behind Kate Beckinsale)??"
"Argh," he was making it tough and I paused for as long as I could hoping that something would interrupt us, "...I could probably make an exception for Livinia."
"Oh, so the standards are making room now, eh?"
He was getting some enjoyment out of this torture. I tried turning the tables...
"So how old is this Meagan chic you talked about?"
"No, no, I haven't finished with you yet," he continued, "so you're telling me that you'd date an older woman, but wouldn't date someone... what... 6 years younger? 7 years younger? 8 years younger? What happens if you're still single at 40??"
He had some good questions. What if I was still single at 40??
"I just think that through all the experiences I've had with women there seems to be a difference that occurs around 25 with them. It's like a switch goes on, or off. They're focus is different. If I were 50 and still single I would date any woman 25 years and older."
I cringed when the words spilt out... I knew his next retort...
"Oh, so you'd date someone half your age when you're 50, a whoping 25 years difference, but you wouldn't date somebody 10 years younger now??"
"Argh," I know I wasn't making any sense, back to Meagan I thought, "so how old was Meagan?"
"She's 26, but let's not get sidetracked here, we're working on you remember."
I was finished.
"Meagan's 26? Wow! That's like the first chic you've talked about who's only 5 years younger than you... rather than your average 10!"
But he wasn't.
"So let's say Kate Beckinsale is 20 years old, and she would marry you in a heartbeat if you ever popped the question. Are you telling me you'd say 'No, sorry Kate, you're not 25.'???"
I don't like Kate Beckinsale type questions. She gets dangled in front of me whenever they want to use her to turn me a certain way. (Yes, my friends are evil.)
"Ummm, I don't know," I said rubbing my face with both hands... trying to hide.
"No, you DO know. You're just stupid."
I liked Willo's bluntness.
"Okay, I would. I WOULD. I'd marry her, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!"
Willo was too busy laughing now. Another successful dangle.
"No more with using Kate Beckinsale like that, k?"
"What if she was 15," added Willo erupting into further laughter.
I think I picked up the heaviest object I could find and threw it at him... shame it was the leather couch! (ROFL)
But, yeah, I don't think he stopped laughing all day.
I don't discount that dating someone younger than my "preferred" 5-6 year age difference would really matter *that* much, especially if it's only a year or two, but I think they'd have to be something special if they were 10 years or younger (between say my current age and 35 anyway) and I know I'd definitely wouldn't date a teenager (that's just scary)!
But when a woman reaches 25 I think they have the maturity to date older men at whichever age they deem fit.
Anyway, that's my take on age, dating and women.
What's your take? If you're a woman and 25 or older would you date men much older (i.e. 40, 50... and dare I mention it... 60 year olds)?? And what if you're a female and younger than 25 - do you feel there's a difference with men between the age group of 20-25, 25-30, 30-40?
It'd be interesting to see what some of you think.
(PS - and don't worry Kate, I won't let them use you like that again.)
A Tired Sigh
5 days ago