One of the biggest hurdles I have with dating someone 10 years younger than myself is their focus.
To me, and I hope I can get the backing of women who are older than 24-25 in here, a woman's focus in life isn't as concrete as it is once she reaches that 25 age limit.
Sure, everybody wants to get married with the perfect partner and live happily ever after, but for those women who are older than 25 answer me this: were you ever STRONGLY considering getting married when you were 20? 21? 22?? Did you really want to start a home, raise a family??
I know from my perspective the biggest driving factor in my life during those years was trying to have as much fun as possible - sure, girls were something that I paid a lot of attention to during those years, and I dated some who appealed to the eyes, but I must admit that I never strongly contemplated settling down and getting married at that age.
And I don't think women would be any different at that age group. It's not that it's wrong, it's not a bad thing, we ALL should experience much of life when we're young, because I know now that at my age the body doesn't bounce back as quick as it once used to... and I think as the decades pass it will get harder and harder to bounce back!
Hence the reason why I think when we age our focus changes... especially if we're single as we age. For those that have married, their focus changes too. They may start contemplating kids if they haven't already done so, or maybe a house, but for those of us that are single our focus changes in that we place more emphasis on finding that special someone rather than whatever else may be taking our primary focus - whether that be entertainment, career/prestige, or money.
Time begins to mean a little more to us, especially if friends and our siblings around us are all getting married. Due to time being somewhat against us we apply more filters on our ideal partner profile, by doing so we don't waste the precious commodity of time on people we'd never seriously consider marrying.
Due to this shorter constraint and stringent filters our courtship tends to be shorter (anywhere from 1 year to 2 years) and we'd be more readily accept marriage because of it.
On the flip side though, a 20-year old's priorities is getting through university and possibly starting a career. Their courtship period may be anything from 2 years to 5 years before they'd seriously contemplate marriage, and even then marriage wouldn't really be something seriously considered until after they've settled down in a job... and they definitely wouldn't consider having kids during those years!!
So being someone who is 30 and who's passed through their 20s, I wouldn't want to take away the fun that's to be had when someone is 20. Life can sure be exciting during those years, friends will come and go, valuable learning experiences await at every corner and the world truly is your oyster.
I will concede that there are some *very* mature 20 year olds around, and I will also concede that if Kate Beckinsale were 20 years old I'd probably throw out all the rules and marry her, but I think I'll have better luck finding women who have similar focii (focusesesses??) to me that are older than 24-25 than those younger than 25.
Hence the age filter.
For those that are younger they'd have to do much work on me.
1 day ago