Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Weirdness & Dreamness

Hope all of you are well. I know it's been ages... again!

Currently I'm down in Albany doing my final prac and things have been busy making it difficult to pretty much do anything... and the last few weeks of uni were just bedlam!

Anyway, I really didn't want to talk about prac, rather I wanted to make a quick note about a dream I had... for memory.

It all started yesterday when I was eating a mango at a stranger's place I'm staying at in Albany (yes, another long story). And as I was eating this mango I had that deja-vu feeling: the oddity of eating a mango in Albany (as Albany isn't renowned for mangos - it's in the south, good for growing citrus and strawberries).

As I stopped and stared at my half-eaten mango I thought as though I had seen this in a dream - ages ago!?

Hmmmm, that's interesting, I shrugged as I continued devouring this juicy mango, but that I got thinking a little more with a tongue in cheek type attitude,

Why do I was always have a deja-vu feeling about places or events, but I never seem to have dreams about what my future wife looks like!

And what would you know?

Last night I had a dream about a woman. I have no idea whether this woman WAS my wife, but several things I remember about it were:

1. She had black hair.

This was weird. Women with black hair have never really grabbed my attention - it's generally been blondes and brunettes. So this was weird.

2. She had blue eyes.

Not really weird, but I guess it'd kinda clash with the black hair.

3. She was crying.

Yes, I know it's probably not that weird. Who haven't I made cry? But from memory this was tears of happiness rather than out of sadness!?

4. It was night time and in a Freo-like setting!?

Yeah, doesn't mean much to anyone reading this, so this is more for my posterity in case anything weird does become of it, but it was like we were near some old cement buildings like those in Freo where my father used to work.

5. We kissed.

Don't remember too many dreams of kissing women, so either this is a first, or there was something special about her.

6. Never seen her face before.

Maybe I have, and my subconscious just played a random image, but her face didn't have a name, and while it was attractive couldn't place it as being someone I knew.

Anyhoo, just some weird dreaming really considering the circumstances of yesterday with the mango. I don't think anything can become of it, but if it did it'd be... freaky!

Because what if I have another dream about something bad happening - EEEEP!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Two Things

There were two things I valued with the whatever-it-was-ship that Shaye and I had, and they were dancing and dressing.

I'll start with dressing.

Okay, I'm colourblind. I've got it pretty bad.

See these little stupid dot things, I haven't got the foggiest idea what number or letter is in them!?

To me they're just a silly hodpodge of dots.

I could use my imagination and picture something, like I do with clouds, but nup - can't see any numbers.

(I'm curious to actually what is there BTW.)

So... when it's come to style and attire I've always been, well, let's say plain.

I've tried venturing out on my own, believe me, and the results have been a little embarrassing. One time I bought these tops that I thought were "nice", only to have friends and family ask why I was wearing that ridiculous pink!


"Yes, P-I-N-K. Are you turning on us?"

Thankfully I was able to take such clothing back for a refund!

But yes, clothes shopping isn't fun, and Shaye could tell I needed a makeover.

"You wear such baggy clothing too," she said as we walked into our first store, "you wear clothes much bigger than you think."

I tried on some of her first selections, that felt quite tight - a tightness I hadn't felt in awhile.

"WOW!" she stared, "that looks fantastic on you! You have such an amazing figure you need to emphasise it. Now what size jeans are you?"

"I'm 38."

"You're 38??"


"No, you're not 38, surely. 38's too big."

"Nah, I swear I'm 38, I got a big ass."

After requesting the opinion of a third party she grabbed the nearest salesperson who came over and sized me up.

"You're not a 38 mate," he said, "you're a 36."

Wow, I thought, I've lost a size from doing nothing!

And sure enough I squeezed into a pair of 36 jeans.


It was a good experience. I tried clothes I never would've tried, and was quite surprised at the results.

I'll definitely be getting a new wardrobe full of clothes this summer!

Then there was dancing.

Another thing I was completely foreign too, but not scared to try... and by the end of my first ever night I actually really enjoyed it.

I think every guy should learn how to dance, because I found there were two things that I learnt that night which most guys should know about women:
1. The importance of leading, and
2. The art of subtlety.

The first point is fairly obvious, and is something that most guys *should* know, although I will admit I've seen many fail to do. You're a man, she's a woman, women love men, therefore be a man. Simple.

However, the second thought I found a little interesting.

See, during a dance routine the woman needs to know what is coming next, and the way the guy does this is by signalling her in certain ways that let's her know what to expect. Some signals vary from brushing the arm, back or shoulder, others can be a little more obvious with the placement of the hand. All are meant to prepare the woman for what happens next. And I think this is what most guys struggle with when it comes to women: truly understanding the power of small simple stuff.

Most guys think that if they gun down a wild boar, or climb Mt Everest, women will flock to them, and while I think there is SOME truth to it, the subtle stuff is where the real power to getting a woman's attention.

Anyway, just stuff I found interesting and pondered out aloud, ideally I'd love to be able to do dancing again, I enjoyed myself and got a good workout.

Overall though these two experiences I'll take, value and thank Shaye for, so I'm glad that it wasn't a complete waste of time... I learnt heaps!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Food Cravings

Don't know why but over the last two days I've had a craving for spinach and ricotta rolls.

Thankfully I've satiated my cravings each day, but today I had to have two.

Hopefully it and the trend stops, I don't want to be eating a dozen of the lil suckers by next weekend!

(Maybe I'm pregnant?)


What was your last food craving, and was it satiated?

Monday, September 08, 2008

Well That Was Quick

Well it's over!

No sooner had it begun, did it fizzle out like a lead balloon.

I feel somewhat relieved, yet also a little saddened - she had much potential, but seemed anchored by her past and felt comfortable clinging on to the "clinical depression" tag.


Get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you, and if you EVER think you've got it bad go walk through a children's hospital. It will certainly change your perspective on life when you see kids who'll never make it past a tenth of your age! If anything they're the ones who should be miserable with life because they'll never get to live it!

Anyway, I said a few parting words, pretty much to the same effect as those last couple of sentences (which probably wasn't the most tactful way in helping someone with depression), but to be honest I didn't care. I'm no shrink, and I know with the small bout of depression I had it wasn't until I faced the REAL reasons for why I was fearing or failing to face the pain that when I did I was able to find out what I needed to do to get better.

Pain can be a wonderful thing, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time, but it helps us to know what's wrong and what needs fixing! All we need do is face it, which can be tough, but when you're sick and tired of feeling that dull senseless pain you'll eventually arrive at a point where you'll do anything to get out of it. It's here where change starts and the results upon breaking this barrier can be so instant that you'll look back at those dark days and wonder how on earth you let your silly self get control.

Hopefully some of the advice hit a nerve for Shaye today.

I dunno.

At least it's really good news for me... I now KNOW and can move on with my life.

And it's always better to know now rather than spend weeks and months playing "nice" wasting time and money when in the end things are never going to happen.

However, I can't help but begin to get a little cynical as my mate Willo has often stated about women these days: are there really any normal ones out there??

OH, and isn't it good that I get to keep my blog title! ;-P

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

It's All Good

Just been on the phone with Shaye over the last couple of hours regarding issues raised from my last post.

It's all good.

Things that were said last night weren't meant to be said, and it wasn't until she admitted that she needed a good verbal slap that I began to feel much better (I'm one who loves meting out good slaps when someone's being a bit of an idiot!). And I'm glad that, provided it's done in love, she's not afraid in receiving it.

Anyway, the day started bad, went badly, but ended on a high.

I'm glad this chic is good with conflict resolution.

She really wants to make it work.

Oh, and happy birthday sis, sorry... I was a little preoccupied this evening.

Outta Space

Never thought I'd be posting so soon in here, but I'm glad I have this little quiet place to vent.

Ugh. What is it with women these days???

Whatever happened to vivacious carefree women who aren't fearful and prepared to give anything a go?

Okay, what's happened...

The relationship between Shaye and I has been going very well. Last Saturday my family had a dinner with some friends of mine, and prior to this event I asked if it'd be okay with the folks if I could include one more face - Shaye... provided she was up for it. Of course, my parents, being the amazing people they are, were more than willing to accommodate another face.

Now I know meeting family is a HUGE STEP in ANY relationship, so I emphasised a HUGE disclaimer when I invited Shaye along...

"I won't think of you any less if you do not wish to come, but having known you a little (and my parents all my life) I know that you'll be fine with this invite, BUT again it's a BIG step and it will not bother me if you say no. I will completely understand."

Of course, she said yes.

And while she was a little nervous initially on the night (which I expected) she did very very well and the night went swimmingly.

She then decided to do the same to me and asked if I'd be interested in attending her sister's birthday the next day, and even though she similarly prefaced the invitation as I had, I accepted her invite and said that I'd love to go.

Again, as with Saturday night we had an awesome time.

We capped the weekend off with a few first kisses which, in my male mind, sealed our relationship as more than just good friends.

(As everyone here knows, I have this odd-ball belief that friends don't pash, they can peck, but not pash - if you pash you're more than just friends.)

Anyhoo, returning back home that night I switched on my computer, which I hadn't all weekend, and noticed a few emails, one of which was a friend from university confirming a friend request. So, I logged in to Facebook, added him as a friend and decided to update my relationship status to "In a Relationship with Shaye."


Next day at uni this didn't go down too well.

For the life of me I couldn't quite understand it, but when her friends congratulated her on the status change (which she hadn't confirmed BTW) she was a little flustered by it all.

"Why did you make a public declaration about our private discussion that we had last night?" she asked unpleased.

"Huh?? I updated my status on Facebook from single to 'in a relationship' - what's the fuss?? And how is telling friends on a public website I'm in a relationship with someone different to us holding hands in public where friends from uni have seen us??"

"That's a big step, Ryan."

"Whaaaaat?? Letting people know I'm pursuing someone and am not 'single' is a big step??"

"People are now asking whether we're boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Who cares what they call us?? I've been called far worse believe me!"

"I think you're moving waaaay too fast. We haven't even developed a solid friendship yet."

"Rrrrriiiiight. So, we're just friends that kiss then?? Do you do this to all your other good male friends too??"

"I need space, we've seen each other every day during the last week!"

"Ummm, that's what getting to know each other is all about. See, we do stuff together, interact and communicate and stuff, and see if the chemistry's there or not, and keep doing it until one day we either pop or I pop an important question. How else are we meant to get to know each other, through osmosis???"

As you can tell I was a little frustrated.

I mean you put yourself out there and give a relationship the best effort you can at the start to see how it goes, knowing that even if it did fail the LEAST you could ever say was, "Well, I gave it my best, we didn't fail because of my lack of trying."

But when you're up against someone who won't even try, or worse, who uses some lame excuse that her mum and sister were always uncertain when they first dated the very men they married which therefore means that it's okay to have this weird emotionless detached condition because it's... in... her... genes!?!?!?


You can go genetical all by yourself I think. And if you want space, you've got it girl. You want to sort out all your problems first, then go for it too.


Are there any normal women out there? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder.

Stuff saving the whales... where are all the normal women!!!

Oh well, I guess we'll see how things pan out over the next couple of weeks - we only have 4 weeks left of university together before we are off for practicum (another reason why I wanted to do as much as I could with this chic to see if she was worth changing my future plans for when we graduate at the end of the year as we could be placed anywhere next year!).

She's certainly dropping the ball on this one.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A Name Change?

They say good things come to those who wait, and I guess 4 years is a good wait.


I'm NO longer another single guy!

Yep, I'm sure you're all dying to know the juicy details so sit back, maybe grab a cup of coffee, relax, and allow me to introduce you to the woman who has captured this little heart of mine.

We'll start with a quick refresher.

For those who've been following me throughout the 450+ posts over the last 3 years you'll know that I'm probably not your average bloke (I hope it didn't take 450-something posts and 3 years to discover that though!). And as you've probably discovered I haven't been as active as most single blokes my age in the dating arena. In a sense I'm a little traditional and old-fashioned with my approach and hold to a set of standards I need to find in someone who I'm physically attracted to before taking the next step.

Those standards have always been the following:

1. Christian. I believe there's a God, and my faith is in Jesus Christ. My partner would need to have a similar faith.
2. Laughter. As most of you know a woman who can make me laugh has a friend for life. Similarly, a woman who has a gorgeous laugh also has a friend for life! My partner would need to have both - quite the challenge!
3. Active. I enjoy exploring and doing things, and life is too short to be stuck behind a computer or TV screen all the time.

Then I guess there were other things that weren't really "standards", but would be more turn-offs, these would be things like:

1. Cats. I hate cats. Enough said.
2. Tats. I don't see the fascination in marring a perfect body with someone's graffiti and I don't care how hidden it is. It's gross. Same applies to piercings too.
3. Fats. Don't eat crap. "Take care of your body, it's the only one you've got," my father used to always tell us kids as he went to great lengths feeding us the right types of foods growing up. And while we resented some of the hippie food we were served I have to admit that I understand the benefits and actually enjoy eating that stuff now.

Then there were the things that turned me on, again, not really "standards", but things that if my partner had would be a bonus:

1. Heart. The relationship and love a woman has with her own family speaks volumes, even if the feelings aren't reciprocated back by her family.
2. Smart. I enjoy having an intelligent conversation - it can't be fun and games all the time.
3. Art!? (Well, I tried to continue the rhyme, but this one is "Age") Having had some good debates on this topic with Jen months ago, I've always been funny when it comes to age. I've never preferred any women older than me and definitely no more than 7 years - 8 years is just too close to 10 in my mind. Although, I did concede that once a woman hits the age of 25 age would no longer be a barrier (so, if I was 40 and she was 25 that wouldn't be an issue to me).

Anyway, that's been me, and I guess throughout the last 4 years with all the types I've met I've had many great tests on how well I've stuck to these standards.


Well, it all started at the beginning of this semester at university (late July 2008). Having enrolled in my tutorials, workshops and lectures for the semester I noticed that the crew I usually hung out with during these times weren't the same as the crew I did in first semester.

In fact, there was this petite little blue-eyed blonde-haired chic who's name I didn't even know that was in our class. She was with some of her female friends that she'd made throughout the last semester, and, just as I remembered from first semester had the same man-tourage (thanks Dana!) following her.

If she weren't dating any of these guys she'd more than likely have a boyfriend outside uni, I thought, and besides she probably would never reach my high standards anyway.

It was during the first week of second semester when a lecturer was doing the role call that I finally caught her name... and it amused me!

That's an interesting name, I thought giving a small smile as my imagination whirred away.

However, it wasn't until Wednesday morning during the second week that we finally had the chance to meet. As she had arrived late to class she sat a couple of seats away from me and upon realising that she didn't have the book we were going through asked if she could come sit alongside and have me share my book with her.

"Yeah sure," I said sliding the book over for her to read. I really wasn't quite understanding what was going on anyway!

"I remember the first time we met," she said reflecting upon that same moment, "I had never really noticed you before, but I guess because I never went to lectures and we didn't have any tutorials or workshops that were the same in first semester it shouldn't have come as a surprise."

I agreed.

"But I remember thinking to myself, 'Oh no, another hot guy who I probably can't have.'"

We both giggled.

Time stood still during that small window when we shared my book together. To be honest I can't even remember what we were meant to be doing my mind was in such a blur, but I do remember our tutor instructing us to get into groups and to analyse something... I couldn't remember what, but I just wanted to analyse her. Thankfully the other members of our group carried us, as all we did was crack jokes and laugh together.

It wasn't until nearing the end of the tutorial that she asked why I undertook teaching. I sighed within myself and thought, Here we go, this is where she'll now run...

"For the last couple of years I've been helping out with my church's youth group and have had an absolute blast. I just love kids, and I've always enjoyed helping people."

I waited for the snicker, but it never came.

"You go to church?" she asked, a little surprised.

"Yes..." I said, hoping to return the same question back, but was quickly shot another.

"Which one?"

"A baptist church up in Wanneroo."

I paused for a second noticing that she wasn't turned away from my response, so I then asked her, "Do you go to church?"

"Yeah, I do. I go to Mounties."

I couldn't believe it!

"Mt Hawthorn?" I clarified.

"Yeah, do you know it?" she asked.

"Yes, I do, my sister actually attends there and I've got some good friends there too."

I think we were both shell-shocked.

She asked me what my sister's name was and after I told her she added that she had only been there for a few months and that my sister's name wasn't familiar to her.

It was then that the tutor asked us to finish up the lesson as it was now done.


Knowing that she was new to the Mounties church I quickly thought of an idea, "If you're going to the evening church service this Sunday I'll tag along with my sister and introduce her to you so that at least you'll get to know another face in the crowd."

To be honest I just wanted to see her again and it was the lamest thing I could think of as she packed her stuff up ready to go.

"Yeah, no worries," she said, "I'll see you then."

It was then that a friend of her's in the same class asked what was going on as I raced out down the hall off to my next class. My mate Adam tagged behind and asked some questions, but I didn't prove to be too responsive as my little mind was still whirring away in a daze - I was on cloud 9.

It wasn't until I sat down in my next class that I realised that I had forgotten to grab her number!

Oh well.

Now if there's one thing I've learnt throughout the years it's that if you make plans for someone in their adsence then chances are the plans are going to fall, and this proved to be no exception. That night after uni I went home and asked my sister if she were attending church services on Sunday evening, unfortunately she replied that she had made other plans.


Wait. Why are you so upset, dude? I asked myself Why are you getting so emotional over someone you've only met for 40 minutes??

It was a good point. I had to calm down. I contemplated on whether to still attend, but thought it probably wasn't the best - it may have come across as having stalker tendencies! And besides I really had only just known this girl.

Need to take things slow... like normal, remember?

Even though my mind was made up I still wanted to do the honourable thing by letting her know that I wouldn't be there. So I looked her up on Facebook, saw that she was there and shot her a message telling her I wouldn't be able to make it due to my sister's other commitments.

"I couldn't believe how excited I was in getting to church that evening," she told me, "and when you didn't show I told my mum that I couldn't believe I had worked myself up so much about someone I hardly really even knew."

I wished then that I had've gone.

It was on the following Monday after the second lecture that she approached me and jabbed, "You stood me up!"

I turned around saw her smile, and returned with, "You didn't get my message?"

"What message?"

"I sent you a message on Facebook?"

"Oh, no. I don't have internet at home."

"Do you have electricity at home?"

She laughed and gave me her number so that *next* time if anything happened at least she'd know instantly.

Unfortunately I found it a little difficult talking to her after the Monday lecture as I had to arrange to meet with members of my group for a presentation we were going to give the following week. However, as I was too distracted with her I didn't know what plans were being made by my group until when we had finished talking and noticed that the lecture hall was empty.


"Umm, I need to find my group now," I said looking around to see if maybe they were hiding.

"Oh, I think I know where they've gone," she said as she led the way outside.

Here we got talking a little more as we walked up and down the university cafes only to find that the one she thought they were at they weren't at! I jided on her a little and after consulting the phone noticed that the group had sent me a text message on their cafe location - a cafe we had walked past too!

Group assignments suck, I thought as I found the group and parted with her.

When we had finished with our group work we made our way early to class and I found a spot where I placed my gear on the table. Adam came in soon after and placed his gear to my left leaving an available seat to my right. It was when the remainder of the class came in that she noticed where I was sitting and even with her man-tourage in tow sat right alongside me! It made some of the boys a little puzzled, but they threw out a friendly "Hello" to us all the same.

Now what made this tutorial even more special is that we were once again divided into groups according to the first initial of our name, luckily both her and I were in the same "P,Q,R,S,T" group along with two others.

And did you think we got any work done??

No way!

Once again we were laughing and chatting while the other members of our group did all the work. Some of the boys began noticing her behaviour and began asking my mate Adam who was in their group at just what was going on!

In fact, as I had to race (yet again) to my next tutorial Adam wrote a note on his workpad that said, "If you are ever asked by anyone about a certain 'relationship' just play dumb."

Initially I couldn't quite work it out. I thought he was prompting me to be aware of a question the tutor was likely to ask me about, maybe something about the current state of affairs between the government and the Teacher's Union - to which I really didn't have a clue anyway!?!

It wasn't until after the tutorial where Adam asked, "Did you understand what I had wrote in there dude?"

"Umm, nope!?"

"Oh, good, you would've played the dumb role well then."

I laughed and added, "I need prompting to play dumb??" (Haha)

It was here that Adam elaborated, "In that last class before that one I was in a group with some of the 'boys' who asked me about you and her. They asked if there was anything going on, if you went to church, and stuff like that."

"Oh, I wonder why they would ask that?" I kind of liked that now I had become the center of attention, but tried to hide it.

Adam took the bait, "Just the way she's been playing with her hair and doing things around you. I saw her do similar stuff at a party when she made out with James."

"Oh. So she's with James?"

"No, I don't think so," Adam added, "because her army boyfriend crashed the party and scared James away, the guy was massive!"

Now I was beginning to get confused!?! Adam obviously knew something more about this woman than I did and there seemed to be some sort of weird love triangle thing going on.


"Did Adam tell you about that night?" she asked as we walked along the Swan river. I didn't know how to respond, it seemed I was either going to have to lie and possibly get nothing, or tell the truth and possibly get my friend in trouble!

I tried lying.

"Umm, no, what things?" I asked.

"Oh, in that case it's probably best you don't know," she sheepishly replied.

No. I wanted to know her side.

"Oh, wait, was that the thing that happened between you and James?"

"So you know?"

"No, I don't," I smiled, hoping to lighten the mood. She smiled back, took a deep breath, looked down to the ground, then looked to the river.

"It was a mistake. I should never have kissed James, he's been a good friend at uni, and I should never have dated Corey, but nothing is happening between me and either of them now."

I left a little cautiously that night, uncertain on whether this chic was playing everyone or whether she was indeed serious. It was sure going to make for interesting discussion though.

"Okay, well thanks dude," I said as I left that night, "I'll see you tomorrow in class."

The next day hardly anybody was in the workshop. In fact, no sooner had I arrived into the classroom did Adam send me a text message stating that he wasn't likely to be in class today, "But have fun talking with you know who!" he ended - with a cheesy smilie face.

And just as I finished replying to his message had she entered the room by herself and sat down adjacent to my computer.

After exchanging some pleasantries and listening to the tutor waffle on about something redundant we actually went to work. It wasn't until the last 40 minutes of class where we couldn't but stand the silence that had been going on between us that we began talking again.

As the conversation took on various themes we decided to continue it over a quick bite and for the next hour we did so in the main cafe at uni. It was here that we talked about previous relationships the ups and downs we both experienced what we learned about each other (etc). And yet during that time I remained as aloof and as casual as possible. I didn't want to reveal too much of how I enjoyed her company, her smile, her laugh, especially after what Adam had told me about what had happened at that party a couple of months ago.

So when we parted that afternoon after lunch Adam was quick to ask the next day what had happened. Again, I was still a little cautious on showing my hand, I liked this girl, I enjoyed her company, so I told Adam that I was still getting to know her and that I'd love to get to know her more.

I think *he* wanted more goss, especially considering that both he and I were invited to a party Friday night where we knew she'd be. In fact, she invited both Adam and I over to her house for a pre-party party!

Knowing that I had to decline both invitations on that Friday night I decided to go into the city and find out more about what us Grad Dip teachers needed to do to get registered (both her and I admitted that we had no clue). After sending her a message asking her if she wanted me to grab her some stuff we talked over the phone about it and I agreed that anything I found valuable would be passed on.

Unfortunately it took me all day Thursday to get everything sorted, so on the Friday morning I sent her a message, "I think the info I have is practically priceless - I don't think we can put a price on it. You're going to need to appeal to my amazing charitable nature. :)"

To which she quickly replied, "Oh I am so excited to be made privvy to such priceless info - how shall I ever repay you!? Hehe does that count as appealing to your charitable nature? Seriously though, I appreciate your help Ryan, it was very kind of you. I'll shout you coffee/lunch next time we meet..."

Being at work I could only continue with texting (as annoying as it was), "Okay, I won't hold you to it though and a choc hazelnut latte gets bonus points! ;)"

She was quick to pull me up on the "queer" choice of a choc hazelnut latte to which I had to quickly respond that I had never had one before and thought that by asking for one it'd be a challenge!

And she was more than happy to accept, even if it meant phoning every cafe in Perth!

I had to laugh, so I sent a final message that day which said, "Haha, you must really want those bonus points then! ;-P"

And her final remarks were, "I just want to keep pace with you. You scored some points yesterday so I need an opportunity to catch up with you otherwise you'll have the upper hand, couldn't have that now could we!"


Anyway, Saturday was a busy day for us as I caught up with a group of friends in Freo. All was going well when Adam during the night sent me a text message on the previous night's frivolties, "Not sure whether you've talked to you-know-who yet today, so this message may be redundant! On the assumption that you haven't this is the go! She is DEFINITELY interested in you. For some reason beyond my understanding she didn't think it was reciprocal!! If you are interested a simple SMS or call saying you are would GUARANTEE you a go. Anyway, all the best man."

Oh no.

I didn't know what concerned me most about this message from Adam. The fact that he was able to get such information, or that he thinks he's doing me a favour by playing cupid! During that night I had begun telling Willo about this new chic and his advice was to go for it - "If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but don't let it fail by doing nothing," he said.

Good advice.

I know my aloof and casual nature has helped prevent me from making many mistakes, but it can also be my downfall by not reacting quickly enough.

I also thought that night that I'd let my folks know. If this chic was going to soon become a part of me then it was best that they knew what was going on, and I've never liked keeping relationships hidden anyway. So late that Saturday night my folks eagerly hung on my words on what had transpired throughout the last couple of weeks with this woman and voiced exactly what I needed to hear.

"I hope you're not doing this because Adam wanted you to," she asked when we caught up for coffee on Sunday.

"No, not at all."

He only confirmed what I wanted to do and just helped me out with timing it.

I seemed to be getting all the right signals from all angles. I knew my family and friends had always been good to me - it's why I treasure them so much and why I place such importance on the family unit. So on Sunday morning I took the plunge and asked if she wanted to go grab a coffee that afternoon.

She did.

And after setting up a meeting place to which I had arrived a little early I quickly walked into the nearby Gloria Jeans cafe and asked if they did choc hazelnut latte's. To my shock they did!

When she eventually arrived I moved on over to the Gloria Jeans cafe stood outside and asked, "You wouldn't have a guess who does choc hazelnut lattes?"

She couldn't believe it either and hurriedly bought me one.

Unfortunately it was gross, but I didn't care. She had bought it for me, and I was enjoying the scenery waaaay too much to worry about the coffee.

As we walked along the river we talked for hours.

She talked about the party, she talked about Adam's weird antics, what happened between her and James, what happened with the army dude Corey, what her family was like, her struggle with bulimia in her teenage years... and on and on... time flew by.

By the end of the day I was touched at how open she had been.

It was a lovely day, but it had to end.

The next day, Monday, last Monday, I had to do our group presentation thing in front of her. I didn't care about the rest of the class, heck, I had performed in front of most of them last semester - she was the one who was making me nervous!

After fumbling and bumbling my way through the portion of the seminar I had to give I was glad that that day was over. I handed her the forms and stuff that I had collected from the previous week's adventures at the DET and WACOT government departments and quickly sped off to my next class.

She was amused at some of the funny notes I had left on those government forms for her and she sent a message saying that if I don't succeed at teaching I should easily be able to get a job at either of those departments!

Great, I must've really sucked during my seminar that day.

"The boys are curious on whether anything's happening between you two yet?" Adam asked.

"Why's that?"

"Well yesterday in your seminar they noticed that you looked at her a lot."

"I DID?? How embarrassing! I tried my best to NOT concentrate on her!"

Tuesday has always been the best day since we've known each other. And last Tuesday proved no different. After class we went to the main cafe and talked some more. This time though Adam seemed to officiate proceedings (don't ask me why?!) and began to suss out what I was looking for in a girl, and what she was looking for in a guy.

It didn't really come as much of a surprise to either of us, that according to my standards she met all three - including the turn offs and turn ons! A first.

She mentioned something about a list that she has, but I just busted on her saying that she probably just makes it up as she goes along. That got a few hits on the arm.

On Wednesday I was able to enact revenge.

She had to perform in front of a small group, of which I wasn't a part of initially, but as the class was running behind schedule they had to re-order the groups around, and have a guess where I ended up?

Yep - her group. Muhahaha.

What made it all the more sweeter was that I had done my presentation for this class the previous week! So I just sat there and manned the video camera. I loved every minute of it - I just wish I had her tape.

"I couldn't believe you were in that class," she said reflecting back on it, "I turned to my friend Sarah and almost screamed, 'He shouldn't be in here!' and I almost cried when we finished because I thought I did so crap!"

I'm so glad I was in that class. She was awesome to watch.

"You were great," I said with all sincerity, "you're going to make a fine teacher. You certainly impressed me."

Unfortunately though she wasn't the only one who was giving a teaching lesson that morning so I had to fill out a review on everyone's performance, which was a little difficult while I manned the camera.

As she made her way to leave at the end of the class I looked at my half-completed review and said, "I haven't finished it yet."

It was a great ploy to get to see her again.

I was able to finish everybody else's review, but took time doing hers. (I know, I'm naughty.) That day I sent her a message saying that I held her "glowing" review for ransom and that if she ever wanted to see it again she'd have to take me out on a bicycle ride and wear me out.

She happily agreed, so we set a date for Friday.

However, things went one step better on Thursday night. Willo had organised during the previous weekend a night out at one of my favourite Japanese *buffet* restaurants. I looooOoOve Japanese food. So I teased to her that my boyfriend was taking me out on Thursday night throughout the entire week. Only to find that on Thursday morning Willo sent me a message stating that he couldn't make it.

I decided to go to plan B. I had been hanging for Japanese all week and my stomach was screaming for miso soup.

I risked a chance to she if she'd be interested on going out for Japanese... and...

It paid off!

We tried one restaurant which *I* thought was Japanese, but it wasn't so I walked out, and then we tried one of her Japanese restaurants (she knew the area better than I) and we stayed.

"You've mentioned that you've been on 'outings' with women before, what's the difference between a 'date' and an 'outing' as Thursday night certainly felt like a date?"

"An outing can be coffee, lunch or dinner with a friend. A date can be coffee, lunch or dinner with a partner. The difference between a partner and a friend is that you don't pash a friend."

As she had forgotten to take her keys with her when she left her house, when I picked her up (I seem to have this effect on women) we went to Burswood for a quiet coffee while we waited for her sister to arrive back home.

When the night was over I could wait to see her again. And I would - the big bike ride was next. The real test on whether this chic was all talk or not.

And boy was I impressed!

We went 40km with a short half-hour break at the half-way mark only to be faced with strong head winds all the way back home!! I couldn't believe how well she did.

I wanted this woman.

And so, at the end of the day, I asked if she wanted to go out on a date with me Saturday night.

She happily agreed... the 4-year drought had now ended.

When I picked her up that night I briefly met her sister who was preparing wedding invitations for her guests and as has been usual with each occasion we talked the night away. I couldn't even believe the time when I stole a glance at it - past midnight!

Was Verna (my car) going to turn into a pumpkin?

I hope not.

When I dropped her home again I had forgotten to give her the "glowing" review so I quickly turned around only to notice that she had once again forgotten her keys to get back in to the house! While her sister wasn't too happy after the phone call we giggled and quietly parted and slipped off into the night.

Tomorrow another adventure awaits us as she is house sitting a place up in the hills. I hope to take my camera and take some nice photos of the, umm, scenery.

So what's her name?

Her name is...




(For the uninformed, her name is pronounced the same way my surname is pronounced!!! And no I am NOT kidding. God must really have a sense of humour. LOL)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Oh Hovea

I went to a familiar place on the weekend - one of our national parks in the hills, John Forest - and thought I'd be super adventurous by going off the beaten track... again.

It's where the *best* photos are taken, right? I tried convincing myself as I took my first step into the deep green scrub, and I'll only walk to the top of this hill and then I'll come back down.

I didn't need much convincing.

And so up I walked - my camera and eye, sorry, I. And we walked. And... walked.

Gee, big hill, huh? I pondered taking a short breather peering back down the hill... not really recognising anything familiar down there.

A couple of kangaroos bounded their way through the bush off to my left as well as a couple of large butterflies dancing in the wind... all proved excellent photo opps, but they also proved a little too difficult to catch after a few minutes of chasing.

Drats! Oh well, this is pretty boring, maybe I should just head back to the track and make my way to the waterfalls before it gets too dark.

And so I did... kinda. Well, maybe not back BACK as in the exact, original way I *actually* came, as things weren't... kinda... like... sorta... what they were like when I went *up* the hill, and... everything looked really really different.

In fact, after popping through some thicket I stumbled across a small stream.

Ooookay, I don't recall ever passing this on the way up the hill??

But being a bloke I wasn't going to admit that I was a little lost... or a lot lost. In fact, lost isn't even in my vocab. Noooo. See, blokes have an innate GPS system. We know *precisely* where we are at any given point and at any given time.

Maybe you should just follow the stream, my conscience suggested.

Why would I want to do that??

Because that will likely lead to the river which will lead to the waterfall which will lead you to the path that you need to get on... you know? Back to civilisation... before rigor mortis sets in??

Pfffft... as if!

The place we needed to go was right over *there*. I eyed it with my eyeball. I could see it. I could sense it. I knew exactly where we were going.

So I leapt over the steam and continued on.


About an hour later, I was beginning to think that maybe the trees were blocking my internal GPS system! BUT I was really only taking this super long way around because I was looking for the best photo opportunities... I mean, if my body were to be discovered after several years of search and rescue there'd at least be some awesome photos on that camera, right?

(I could see the news headlines: Man Dies in Bush Taking Extraordinary Photos. Subhead: Photo analysts reveal that the man seemed to have been walking in circles!?)

It wasn't until I heard the sound of voices that I was finally able to find my way back to the beaten track. I heard some father talking to his little kids about the dangers of wandering off into the bush only to see me pop out and stumble in front of them with twigs, leaves and branches hanging off my body.

"G'day," I said as I confidently brushed myself off and walked past the stunned family trying my best to quickly find out just where the heck I was exactly!? I quickly wandered off in one particular direction, only to find that the waterfalls just so happened to be in the complete opposite direction. Typical. I walked back past the still stunned family, said my g'days again and ended up enjoying the rest of the late afternoon taking photos of Hovea falls.

[Photos were uploaded to my Flickr a/c... as you can see on the flicking little flash window thingie on the left. Enjoy.]

Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's Been Long Time

It has.

I'd almost forgotten about this little blog it's been that long! In fact it feels like lifetimes have passed, stories have been missed, tales haven't been told, updates haven't been forthcoming... I hope I haven't left anyone hanging!

I mean there was my five week prac in June-July which was an awesome experience, then 3 weeks of holidays where several weddings were attended (photos have been posted to my flickr account), old friends were caught up with (one being the little redhead I had a crush on during high school!), and now... it's back at uni for my final semester.

It feels like heaps has happened. Lots of blog-worthy stuff, it's just being able to find the time to blog it all! I wish I could type by thought.

But alas I can't... not yet anyway. Scientists are working on it - I'm being probed in places you don't wanna know!

However, before I pay a quick visit to all your blogs, I'll leave you with a quick funny story that's happened to me recently.

About a week ago I began receiving an email that congratulated me on signing up to a singles web site - a black singles web site!?!

Rrrrrriiiight, I thought, either someone has typed in the wrong email address twice or this is just some scam to get me to sign up.

I flagged the email as spam in gmail.

That should do it.

But every day the web site's email slipped through gmail's spam filter and every morning when I awoke to check email I'd be met with Houston's finest large black women.

I tried flagging it as spam... again... and again... and again.

This morning I had had enough. The emails were still getting through.

Right, that's it, I'm unsubscribing.

With that I scanned the email for an unsubscribe link... which it conveniently didn't have, and logged in with that first email which contained "my" username and password.

"Hello Hayes," flashed the web sites greeting page.

According to the site I was a black African American, 30 years old, 5'8", 250 pounds, looking for big black women for "casual dating". Sorry Hayes, you have to go.

And do you think I could find a disable, or delete, or unsubscribe button ANYWHERE ON THE SITE???

NooOoOooooo... that would be waaaaay too easy.

What was one to do? How could I rid myself of this torture?

It was then that I had one of those beautiful AHA! moments. I quickly clicked on "Edit Profile" and noticed the following warnings:

"Do NOT enter any personal information in your introduction, your account will be deleted."

That was all I needed.

I entered some bogus information about "Hayes" including his fake full name, a fake email address, a fake address, a fake phone number, and a fake MySpace web address. I was tempted to break the second warning which said not to use any inappropriate sexual content, but I didn't want to stoop that low.

Hopefully that will be enough to delete the account and prevent any more spam reaching my account. I guess I'll find out tomorrow morning when I check my email.

Then again maybe I've just spawned an incident for some other poor bloke who just happens to live at the fake address I provided... well I hope he likes big black women!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

I Think I Missed My Calling

I think I've played the wrong sport since childhood.

And yet, when I reflect back on the small episodes I had playing the sport I should've played I'm beginning to realise that I should've paid closer attention to the achievements I made - the signs!

The sport I should've played should've been volleyball... not basketball growing up.

Now while I grant the fact that there weren't too many volleyball nets around back in my day and one couldn't just go down the park and find an available net to practice, I should've stuck it out and taken it up regardless.

In fact, when I reflect back to my younger years fresh in high school at the tender age of 13 years old I represented my school in an interschool carnival competition in volleyball. And we won that competition! We didn't lose a game!

I can't remember whether I had much to do with our team winning (I'll say that I did just as filler - lol), but that should've been a sign right then and there!

Why all this nonsense about volleyball all of a sudden??

(Yes I can all hear your thoughts from here.)

Today, prior to my basketball game Mark informed me that there was a national WOMEN'S volleyball competition going on at the recreation center and that it might be worth a look see before our game.

No sooner had he told me this information I was already travelling at a rate of knots on the freeway making my way there (I think I even got flashed by a speed camera - *sigh*).

And oh boy was I in heaven when I arrived.

Three words: long legs and short shorts (or was that five words?? I can't think straight).


I didn't even need to stretch or warm up prior to our game as my heart rate was well and truly ready before tip-off!!

Considering we also won and I top scored I'm beginning to think that maybe I might need to conduct some more research into this area.

Long legs and short shorts. Women jumping up and down, diving everywhere on the ground...

I haven't stopped biting my fist all afternoon. ;-p

Monday, May 19, 2008


It's felt like ages again... posting in here, but I suppose much has happened that I just haven't had the time to detail or write about!

In the next couple of weeks I'll be out at prac so if you don't hear from me between now and the end of June then you'll know that prac has been quite hectic.

Apart from that I thought I'd share some photos I took over the weekend.

The great thing about Perth during the latter-end of autumn we get some very still calm nights, which makes the Swan river extremely glassy (this is rare as Perth is behind Chicago in being one of the most windiest cities in the world).

Anyway on Saturday night I took some photos at around midnight and last night decided to take some more, here are a couple of those photos...

I also took some black & white photos of Hillary's Boat Harbour on Saturday too, I always enjoy taking black and white photos as they remind me of the good ol' days when I did photography at school.

Okay, I need to scoot, I have an exam in 2 hours and I haven't even started studying yet! Eeeeep!!

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Assignments

Haven't really felt like writing much lately as I've had an awful load of assignments to complete over the last couple of weeks.

Not to mention things getting a little stressful for us Grad Dip Ed students with trying to find placements at schools for our prac - apparently only about a quarter of us have been placed!

I might have to suggest to our placement officer that if they can't find a place in the metro area that maybe they could try place me in a high school in a country town, like Albany, where I can stay with my uncle and do my prac there... my sister did a few years ago!

Just means I'll be away for 4-6 weeks as I don't think my uncle has internet, but I'll sure be enjoying myself, don't worry.

Aah Albany...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

OK, I'm Done

Okay, I'm sick of the sub-20 degree days now.

I'm through with winter... I want summer back.

Oh, wait a minute.

It ain't winter yet.


Word Verification

Is it just me or is the word verification thingos becoming a little too hard to decifer even for us mere humans now??

I mean, check it out, add a comment and see how many takes you go through when adding a comment.

(Or maybe it's just me, and Google's trying to tell me something?)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Blue Steel

Conversation with hairdresser Kristy yesterday after when she had finished cutting my hair:

K: Would you mind if I use you?
ME: Wow, you're the first woman who's actually asked. Most just seem to take advantage of me without asking!
K: I just need to use you for a male hair competition.
ME: What hair are we talking about?
K: Ah, the one I just cut for you.
ME: Oh, okay.
K: It will only take a couple of seconds.
ME: Women say that all the time... and that's fine.
K: It's okay then?
ME: Yeah, no worries.

And with that a chic came over, grabbed one of Kristy's combs out of her top pocket and fanned my hair with it as well as my hair's straightness.

Judge: Length okay on top?
ME: Yeah, it's good.

I don't know if my "Blue Steel" or "Magnum" impressions worked while she was judging my hair, but I hope Kristy wins the competition. I thought she did quite a good job.

Encounters Of An Older Kind

Twice now it's happened. Twice. 1. 2.

First time I was around the age of about 22, shooting hoops at North Lake Senior High's outdoor basketball courts, the school where I ended up graduating from, having both outdoor courts to myself, again. From memory it was a cool spring day, I had rode to the courts using my father's bicycle minding my own business trying best to score as many points as possible against my hapless imaginary opponents whilst moving enough around the court to try and keep warm.

Unfortunately the North Lake school and it's hardened bitumised basketball courts bordered Coolbellup which meant the school contained the same riff-raff and thugs it's neighbouring suburb had. Personally I never really cared. I mean I grew up here. I was of the attitude that if you kept away from crowds like that you weren't likely to get sucked in.

So playing on my lonesome wasn't anything new to this area. And seeing someone walk through the school grounds was even rarer. It definitely wasn't a place one stayed around once the sun set.

It was therefore a little strange that on this one particular day an old man walking his little Jack Russel terrier came over and began chatting. It was odd, but not solely because someone was walking the school grounds as it did happen (just rarely) but odd because at that stage of my life I was uncertain about a direction I was taking. I had just started investing in the stock market and I was enjoying the dynamics of it, and wanted to take advantage of learning it some more, but felt restricted because of my full-time studies at university with accounting.

It wasn't until after the bloke and I exchanged some small talk that he began to open up about his life and the life of his son.

I can't recall exactly how the conversation went, but I do remember the meat of what he spoke about: investing. Stuff I was contemplating at the time! Apparently this man's son was quite wealthy. He had invested in the stock market, property market and had done quite well through the last 5-10 years.

Wow, I thought, how uncanny.

And yet I never discussed anything about my views or experiences on anything about investing.

When the old man and I parted ways I ended up changing a few of my units at university and did some more finance based courses. It helped me get through the rather bland accounting units and made university that little bit more enjoyable.

But yes, even to this day I have never forgotten that incident. I think the timing of it, the things that were said without prompting, the place, and the surrounding circumstances made it something that was truly unforgetable, weirdly unforgetable... kind of like yesterday...

Yesterday I decided I had to either get started on the four assignments I have due next week, or... some exercise. It was a hard decision. But exercise won in a fierce battle. After suiting up and shooting around at the local outdoor courts in the area a small old man was jumping up and down and pushing his hands in the air.

Does this man have that weird Toronto Blessing?? I thought.

Initially I didn't think he was talking to me, so I looked around for someone who he was maybe trying to communicate with, but being the only one on the court and nobody else around I stopped what I was doing and placed a hand up to my ear asking, "What??"

Again he jumped up and down and did a hand motion like he was pushing a haystack or something.

"I can't hear you?" I yelled.

And with that he walked over the street and I too began heading towards him.

I hope he's not going to be annoying and say something stupid like, 'Can you please keep the noise down as I'm trying to sleep!' Well it was 10:30 in the morning and the guy was in boxers and a singlet!

When we had come within a couple of meters of each other he said with a deep Italian accent, "You shoot like Michael Jordan!"

Oh, was that what you were saying?

I reassured the bloke that I had maybe popped a couple of lucky ones in but I was certainly no Michael Jordan. It was all the guy needed to begin giving a dissertation on his life story.

I think that maybe I have the face for it... or should that be the ears for it?

He began talking about how he was a butler and how he worked around Europe before moving to Australia 20 years ago, how he started a few popular restaurants around Perth, how he was going through a bitter divorce and how he was coping living with his daughter.

It was an interesting talk. He had a thick Italian accent, so most of the time I was trying to piece together what he was saying, but one thing I found interesting was how he was able to know my heritage just from my face.

"You born here?" he asked.
"Yes, born and bred here," I answered.
"Parents born here?"
"Yes, they were too. I think I'm a 5th or 6th generation Aussie, or something like that."
"You're heritage Scottish?"
"Yes, it is actually," I answered surprisingly, as most people assume Irish descent upon seeing my surname, yet I don't have a drop of Irish blood within me.
"I can see it," he said pointing to my face and stating some of my facial Scottish features.

But I guess it was the topic of food that united us. (I know, fancy that, eh? Two blokes talking about food! lol)

Luciano, as he introduced himself to me, said the big difference with Italian food compared to the rest of the world is the "secret" ingredient of passion and love.

"As it should be with anything," he said.

We continued talking for about an hour more before he went back to his daughter's house to do some cleaning. We shook hands as we parted and he left with a beaming smile, "Whatever you do in life, be sure to do it from your heart and you'll have great success."

I agreed and shot a few more hoops before heading back home.

Reflecting back upon both instances if there was one thing I found interesting about both accounts it'd be that with the first old man he didn't seem too happy. He was proud that his son had achieved such grandeur, but I think such success had come at a price where his son had now become a distant object. I don't recall ever seeing the first old man ever smiling or laughing.

Whereas Luciano was opposite. He was always smiling, and laughing, even amidst all the crap that was happening around him. If there was anyone worthy of being unhappy it was Luciano, but strangely he wasn't - he saw through the struggle and it didn't seem to sour his passion for food, and his love for his daughter.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The Family

Last night a friend phoned asking if I knew of a Christian organisation called "The Family". Initially I thought it was some Mafiaoso type group and began talking with a Marlon Brando type voice,

"Why aren't you part of the family?" I hoarsed, sending my throat dry.

We played around with it a little more, but when we settled he said that he couldn't find fault with any of the main areas of their doctrine.

They appeared to be okay.

As I didn't know anything about them I decided to do a quick check to see what they were all about. Upon perusing their website I went to their statement of faith and pretty much couldn't find fault with any of their points.

Until I got near towards the end under the heading labelled "Perspectives on Sexuality".

They talked about how God created sex (correct) and that it is a natural emotional and physical need (ok, somewhat agree) and that sex is to be between a man and a woman (agree). The topic then ended with this...

Thus, it is our belief that heterosexual relations, when practiced as God ordained, designed, and intended between consenting adults of legal age, is a pure and natural wonder of God's creation, and permissible according to Scripture.

Did anybody else pick up something that was kinda lacking... you know, a small little thing??

I mean, as from their statement of faith it appears that it's okay to have heterosexual sex *JUST* provided they are of legal age!

Aaaah, guys... what about God ordaining sex within the confines of, oh I dunno, a little thing called MARRIAGE???

Obviously not.

I soon discovered from reading other websites that this little organisation is aptly labelled the "sex cult"! (The Family has many different names and perhaps the most notorious is The Children Of God for those who might know)

Anyhoo, I contacted my friend again and when he asked about what I had found I quite simply said,

"Dude, if they come round again sign me up!"



(I don't want AIDS.)

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Pulling Power?

Last week you may remember the incident with Taryn.

During our short conversation I invited her to come along to church service an hour early where all the young adults mingle where we share times and experiences together as well as something from the Word.

Interestingly she came today.

"Somebody has pulling power?" said Dan's wife knowing what had transpired last week as she noticed Taryn arrive.

"Hey, I just asked," I said with an innocent tone.

Before Taryn made her way into the room someone mentioned that she had an older brother who passed away, leaving her the only one in the family. It probably wasn't the best topic for whoever started it as Taryn was only moments away!!

Thankfully, someone quickly changed the topic as she made her way in.

We were only able to speak for a few moments as today *I* was the one who had to quickly scoot after the service as I'm off to Bunbury today to see relatives and hear Chucky Missler speak.

Hope your weekend is going well.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Likalia's Nick

Likalia, as you probably know being an Aussie we shorten pretty much everybody's name. And I've noticed that pretty much with everybody I've come in contact with their names are either already short enough, or I've given them the Aussie karate chop and shortened it for them.

Some examples of female names given the AKC (Aussie Karate Chop) have been:

Jennifer becomes Jenny, Jenni, Jen or Jenn.

Rebecca becomes Bek, Bec or Beck.

Rachel becomes Rach.

Carlie becomes Carls.

Jemima becomes Jem.

Victoria becomes Vicki, Vicky, Vic or V.

Miranda becomes Mandy.

Fiona becomes Fi, Fe-Fe, or FJ.

Melissa and Melanie become Mel.

Richelle and Michelle become Shell, or Shelley.

And the list goes on and on...

Except for when I hit your name, Likalia. I think any poor Aussie bloke is going to be stumped with that one!

L? Li? Lik? Liki? Lika? Likals? Kalia?!?!?

None of them seem to fit right. You're the only chic who's name remains intact!!

So now I'm curious what nicknames have you had in the past?

(Hmm, I wonder if indigo eve or maggie will be of better assistance?? lol)

Beware Of Nurses

I have to admit nurses scare me a little. Those chics in white dress are like wolves in sheep's clothing.

Interestingly (or weirdly!) I came across this joke today:

10 Reasons Why Nurses Make Such Perfect Partners:
1) They can help you get over a hangover or sickness
2) Bedbaths!
3) The uniform
4) They are exposed to so many xrays, its like a form of birth control
5) You will never need to buy condoms, paracetamol, toothbrushes or any hospital supplies
6) They know how to handle bodily fluids!
7) Nothing shocks a nurse, they have always seen smaller or indeed bigger!
8) They wont be disgusted by your toilet habits
9) They are experienced in manual evacuation when your full of crap
10) They know how to handle the human body

And my rebuttal to those would be...

10 Reasons Why Nurses Should Freak Any Single Bloke Out:

1) They know the male body a little too well - anybody spell manipulation?
2) Two words: truth serum - need I say anymore guys??
3) They have a habit of bringing their work home with them - I really don't want AIDS
4) They know 1,642,352 different ways to die
5) They know tranquilisers
6) They can handle and use a syringe
7) They know how to remove and replace certain body parts, if not, they know of somebody who can!
8) They glow in the dark due to x-ray exposure
9) Their lips have been on semi-dead people (CPR)
10) They know how much you're worth, and it has nothing to do with your possessions - just think organs and black market!

See, this is why guys need to be careful around nurses. And whatever you do guys, don't EVER divorce them should you marry one - they wont just take half of the estate they'll take half of you too (read point 10 again)!


Oh, and I thought this joke was pretty funny too...

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell??
It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!



I don't know whether I mentioned this, but several weeks ago an old friend from school noticed that on my Facebook profile I updated my status to say something to the effect of, "Ryan is glad that he survived the first week of uni... just!"

When one of my old school Facebook friends read this she sent me an email via FB and told me that she too had gone back to university this year and wondered what I was studying and where.

After a few conversations back and forth we found a compatible day and decided to catch up for a short hour.

The only small problem I had was trying to remember what she looked like, especially amongst the thousands of students at uni! The last time we physically met was several years ago when I bumped into her at our 10-year high school reunion and although we talked together for ages, we never really caught up again (to be honest I always thought she lived a million miles away).

When we eventually found each other that day at uni several weeks ago I was quite surprised at how well she had changed. As we had been friends together throughout most of our teenage lives she was the typical high school girl: short, pimple faced, glasses, big smile and contagious laugh - hence why we got on so well!

It was when I was 26 when, at our 10-year high school reunion, that I hardly recognised the girl I once knew at high school. She no longer had the pimples, she was still relatively short although a few inches taller, she had grown her blonde hair longer, and she no longer wore those archaeological-type bifocals I always remembered, replacing them instead with contacts. Yet three things still remained: her greeny green eyes, her big smile, and that contagious laugh.

Four years since then as we sat there under the tree at uni I noticed that she had changed into a well-rounded lady. She had trimmed her hair to shoulder length, had developed a killer tan, and seemed more mature (not that she was ever immature, just more mature), yet even amongst the changes she still sported that smile, flashed those greeny green eyes, and still had that contagious laugh.

Amongst hearing about her travels throughout the years (India, Sri Lanka, Russia, Europe, UK) I found out that she was doing a 4-year degree at university (yes I almost fainted!) to further her career as a nurse.

I also was embarrassed to find out about something else too...

"It must be difficult for you to travel from the hills to university every day?" I asked, remembering that she lived out in the hills.
"Yeah. Don't you live out in the hills?" I asked, slowly, thinking that maybe, just maybe, I had her confused with someone else.
"I've never lived out in the hills!?"
"Ah, didn't you used to live out in the hills?? I always remember you living out in the hills!?"
"No, I've never lived out in the hills. I've always lived south of the river."

I nearly fell off my chair. I couldn't believe it. All this time she had been south of the river and I always thought she lived a million miles away. I slapped my forehead.

Unfortunately the hour went too quickly, so I teased her a little by asking,
"So, if you've been south of the river all this time then I suppose you've had a crocodile pizza?" I cocked my eyebrow (just like in my profile pic).
"Ah-no," she answered thinking that I was probably making something up.
"You call yourself a south of the river chic and you've never had a crocodile pizza in Freo. You probably better off living out in the hills then," I joked, chuckling a little.
"Do they sell crocodile pizzas in Freo?" she asked, now curious.
"Yes, we'll have to catch up again maybe during one of your lunch breaks at university there and have one," I offered.
"Love to!" she responded although somewhat cautiously due to the strange nature of the delicacy.

And that was how we ended it on that day. We both had to race off to our class, but none more so than myself who had a microteaching lesson to give!

Anyway, last week after my return from Coral Bay Curtin university had a one week break. I decided to check and see if she was free for lunch so I sent an email via Facebook to her asking if she was interested in becoming initiated and confirmed as a south of the river chic by taking part in the crocodile pizza eating ceremony!

I heard nothing back.

Oh well I gave it a shot, I thought and didn't think any more of the matter.

Until yesterday when I received a text message from her where she apologised for not replying sooner because she doesn't check Facebook very often (which I thought was a little weird as for those who are familiar with FB know she had updates since the time I sent my email - how can you NOT notice an email and update your profile!?). Anyhoo, she had an available time free due to a cancelled appointment and wanted to know if I was still up for lunch or coffee.

Unfortunately I was at uni about to enter class and replied that I couldn't make it today, but next time I'll endeavour to text or call instead of using Facebook.

The only problem being I just don't know when that next time will be!?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Foot Fetish

I think Mark has a thing for feet.


Apparently last night my sister made mention of the fact that he wanted to see her feet... it was a case of show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Ah, dude... what is it with feet???

Now I'll admit that my sister was quite playful about the topic, and I'm glad my sister hadn't heard of the incident with Bree and his disproval of her toes, but from knowing a little about Mark it seems to be a recurring theme that's getting a little too freaky to be "cute".

I think I'd better count how many pairs of shoes my sister has and keep a close eye on them (it might take awhile though, she's got hundreds of 'em... at least keeping tabs on my shoes is easy: I can count them ALL on ONE hand!! lol).

Am I the only one who thinks that fascination with womens feet is kinda weird?? Do women feel just as uncomfortable if a bloke says such things in all sincerity (without humour)??

Finger Licking Funny

My brother sent me this joke this morning and I thought to share it as I'm sure you'd all enjoy it for today, as I did...

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. With one of her fingers she seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his manly rugged beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both her hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, moving her hands through his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," stumbled the bartender somewhat reluctant to move for a little while, enjoying her playfulness, "Is there... anything... I... can... do?"

"Yes," she said running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them softly, "I need you to give him a message."

"What should I tell him?" bumbled the bartender as she continued playing around with his mouth as he spoke, stroking his tongue as he pronounced "tell" in the process.

"Tell him," she whispered, taking a slight pause while she continued playing with the enraptured bartender, "tell him there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."


Monday, March 31, 2008

Guys What Are You Doing??

Today at university when I used a computer to help print out one of the three assignments due today I noticed a small news clip headed,

"Tragic Incident Involving Curtin Student at Albany"

Hmm, I thought, I wonder what this is about?

So I quickly clicked the link to see if it maybe involved anyone that I knew and was surprised to see that it actually involved a group of exchange students who were walking near "The Gap" on the rocks and were swept into the water by a wave.

Apparently a male Norwegian and a male Canadian fell into the water as they tried to take better photographs over the cliff and the Norwegian was able to luckily swim back on to the rocks to safety, but nothing more was seen of the Canadian.

Unfortunately it's a shame to hear of such news, but it is such a dangerous area down there that you need to be sooo very careful when the swell is up.

I hope they find the Canadian alive, but as this happened during Easter I don't like the kid's chances.

(The above photo I took at The Gap in Albany a couple of years ago - and yes people have fallen in from here and some have lived, others haven't been as fortunate - but the conditions at that time I took this photo were relatively mild considering how bad it really can get down there... and when it's bad you don't want to be falling in!)

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Man, A Plan, A... Girl, South African?!

The plan had been set. Names had been changed to protect the innocent.

It seemed a perfect plan to some, but it was difficult to tell. There were variables within the well-formulated scheme that were a little too volatile, these were going to need to be carefully watched and monitored.

Someone suggested tranquilisers, another a big net, to reduce these "variables" being too volatile, but all knew that if they kept to the plan they wouldn't need to resort to these sinister tactics. Hopefully plan B wouldn't be needed... there wasn't one anyway!

"Revelations, where are you?" came the cry out.

"Revelations, is at the back, over," replied the slightly audible voice.

"Praising Him, I can't see you?" went out as the second test call.

"Praising Him here, over," echoed another faint voice with one hand raised in the air reaching heavenward.

"Wretched Sinner, come in?"

There was silence.

"O Wretched Sinner where art thou?" echoed the call again.

"Haven't seen Wretched Sinner in yet," whispered a new voice.

"Damn that Wretched Sinner," spat the caller.

A few strangers noticed the sudden slight outburst and stole a quick glance at the location of the noise.

"Deep breaths, Lazarus, don't give yourself a heart attack - he should be here any minute," prompted a faint calming voice.

Lazarus quieted himself and placed a question mark over Wretched Sinner's name on the list he had before him.

"Okay, and is Samson in position?"

"Yes, he's blocking the entrance, although he's a little distracted right now," whispered Praise Him.

"Can you get him to focus please Praise Him, pluck out his eyes if you have to!" sighed Lazarus.

"A Wretched Sinner has just arrived, over."

"Get him into position at the altar immediately," raced Lazarus.

"Copy that."

Quick scurrying movements impressed even the most experienced church mouse at how everyone quickly moved into place.

It was only seconds now and everyone waited for the call-sign.

It came...

"Angel has landed. I repeat An-gel - has - lan-ded," Lazarus audibly called bending down to tie his unlatched shoelace.

Nobody moved. Everybody had to remain calm, for the sake of the plan, and it's result.

"Angel has been greeted," echoed Samson at the front door, "Angel passing through."

This brought the Revelations to attention as he weaved and moved his way through the available chairs, sitting at one and placing many useless possessions at others.

"Sorry, seats are taken," he said as Angel moved by.

Lazarus, after raising himself up, noticed something wasn't quite right. It was Revelations, he wasn't in the right spot.

"Revelations!" Lazarus screamed, "you're in the wrong seat, over."

Revelations quickly scampered with his strewn possessions and hurled them over on to the next row.

The Angel had nearly landed, but Revelations was quick, "Sooo sorry, but these rows are taken as well."

Angel looked a little perplexed at how one man could take up two rows of seats, and Lazarus noticed the frustration in her face.

"Quickly Praise Him, move in."

Praise Him jumped up and over the seats and sped towards Revelations where he quickly sat down, turned and thanked Revelations for saving him "this" seat.

Angel, surprised at the lack of charity and kindness offered by the two men, moved another row down and occupied the next available seat.

"YES! Praise Him, awesome!" Lazarus was getting a little too excited, and his eruption once again saw those nearby staring at his recent outburst.

Noticing the attention he caused he quickly raised his hands and looked heavenward for a few seconds before closing his eyes and nodding his head. Unsuspecting people thought nothing of it.

"Okay, now where's The Beast?" Lazarus resumed after noticing eyes were no longer set on him.

Silence fell again.

"Haven't seen The Beast yet," replied Wretched Sinner from the front eyeing out across the congregation.

"Service is starting soon, people, we need The Beast to come out of hiding. Samson can you see what's holding it up?" Lazarus was feeling the tension build, there was only a small window of opportunity now... and it was closing fast.

"The Beast is moving in now," waved Samson from the front door frantically.

The congregation now stood and began singing the first hymn.

As The Beast quickly meandered in he made his way towards Revelations and was going to squeeze in, but Revelations refused, telling him that these seats were reserved for good people and not him.

Praise Him similarly refused.

The only place left was in front of Angel.

As soon as The Beast sat down, Lazarus jumped up and let out a whoping "Hallelujah!" - everything had fallen into place.

The last piece was now getting both The Beast & Angel to connect after the service, but thankfully no further prompting was needed. The Beast, after hearing the closing prayers' "Amen" turned immediately around and began talking to Angel before she could fly away.

"Perfect," said Lazarus as he waved at all to man the exits ensuring that the Angel never takes flight.

As The Beast & Angel talked for a little while, he noticed that Angel was quite timid and seemed to want to run, but reluctantly she stayed and they talked about a couple of things, one of which interested The Beast: they attend the same university!

Not wanting to hold Angel up, The Beast said his goodbye's and told her that he'd see her again either at uni or maybe next week at church.

With that she quickly vanished and disappeared into the light.


Yes, I was able to speak to Taryn today... FINALLY!

I practically nearly jumped on her after the service, making sure that she didn't leave. (In fact I think I even jumped on her as the pastor was saying amen! Making her amen sound more like an "ARGH-MAN!").

But yes, Mark had formulated a plan to have me sit right in front of her today so that there was NO EXCUSE for at least not say more than just hello... and he made sure I understood my mission as he ushered me to "MY" seat.

I had to laugh, which is why my warped sense of humour made me look at todays events in the abovementioned way.

But thanks Mark... it's a start, she's South African, and she's definitely a timid one.

I'll just keep eeking away.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Coral Bay Pix

Have just uploaded about 90 of my favourite photos from the Easter holiday long weekend at Coral Bay.

Here are a couple of my favourite ones, the rest you should be able to see from my Flickr account.

The photos that I were the most disappointed over were the shark ones. On our last day at Coral Bay we went on a kayaking tour where they took us to a notorious spot where reef sharks were prevalent. When we arrived at the spot and swam to the area it was an awesome sight seeing these creatures in their natural habitat swimming around.

And what was even more pleasant was that they didn't seem too perturbed by us (that could've been due to the fact that the main kayak instructor told us NOT to swim down and TO stay close to the coral reef!).

Initially when we arrived there were only three reef sharks. It seemed like they had just finished breakfast as they swam around with their mouths open wide whilst some smaller fish darted in and out cleaning their teeth.

By the time it was ready for us to leave there were about 6 reef sharks circling us underneath. And little did I realise that I began drifting out to them (away from the coral!). It wasn't until one particular shark got a little too close for MY comfort that I realised how far I had drifted and that everybody else had began making their way back to the kayaks!


I was alone with a white tipped reef shark showing off his many various sets of teeth.

I wish at that instance I took a photo, because the shark was pretty close, but being a little concerned about my own personal welfare I quickly walked on water back to the safety of the coral reef and kayak group!!

Anyway, I didn't upload this photo to Flickr as it's pretty useless, but here's the best of the bad bunch from the shark photos...

The Last Minute

Three assignments due Monday and I haven't even started one yet!

Looks like it's going to be a fun weekend.


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

24 Hours Of Driving Done

Just a quick note letting you all know that I had a wonderful time during the Easter break.

I hope you all did too.

Apparently I've taken over 2,000-odd photos (I blame that on the 6.5fps and my slow right index finger) so once I sift through all those and upload them to Flickr I'll write some stuff about what happened.

I could sum up the entire weekend with:

Getting close to nature... ok, maybe too close!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Happy Easter

I hope you all have a happy Easter this year people!

I'm off to Coral Bay tomorrow morning (just a quick 12 hour drive), so you wont be hearing much from me over the extra long weekend.

I forgot to post a couple of my fav photos last weekend where I went to Blackwall Reach and Point Walter.

Blackwall Reach is infamous for kids jumping off into the deep parts of Swan River (some say it goes as deep as 100ft in places!!). As you can see this weekend was no exception with a group of teenagers making use of the warm weather and cliff's availability.

Anyway, I'm sure upon my return I'll have a HEAP of photos for you, so stay tuned and don't eat too many chocolates!

PS - if there's one thing I'm loving about the 40D camera it's the 6.5fps!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Mark's Moves

Last night the fam had dinner together as my brother was over from Queensland for a few days.

The night went well, until mum pulled me aside and whispered, "Did you know Mark was here until 1:30 in the morning on Sunday night?"


I know I wasn't there.

It wasn't until I was with my sister alone that I asked, "Mark was here on Sunday night was he?"

"Yeah, I asked him if he wanted to come over and shoot some hoops."


"Shoot. Some. Hoops... huh?" I said suspiciously.

"Well... we are playing mixed basketball soon, right?"

Oh yeah.

I forgot about that.

Mark cunningly found out that in the same competition we had registered to play this season there was also a mixed basketball comp too!

Last Saturday when he came over he had some forms in his hand and asked my sister if she knew of any friends that would be interested in playing mixed basketball.

It didn't take long for my sister to find two other chics to team up with!

But anyway... why wasn't I informed?? And why hadn't Mark said anything to me about it?

Could it be that these two could quite possibly, actually, maybe, be dating now??

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Week Ahead

I write this particular blog post from the bachelor pad.

Not just any pad - Willo's bachelor pad.

That's right for the next few days I'm staying at the pad as my brother flew in from the other side of the country today and is staying with the folks (aka my room).

It'll be interesting to get a taste for what life could very well be like in the next few months if my parents end up going ahead with moving down south to Albany, or what life could've been like if I had taken up Willo's offer at the start of this year.

Willo has been his accommodating self and tomorrow I'll be treating him to my world famous pizza... I just need to work on the world and famous bit!

Anyway, straight after this short stay at the pad it's off to Coral Bay with Dan and the gang for the extra long weekend! While I can't wait to see Coral Bay again I'm not going to be looking forward to the 12 hour long drive up there!!

But if the underwater camera kit that I bought ends up working out it may be an awesome adventure with some spectacular pix!!

Took some shots on the weekend from Point Walter & Blackwall Reach which I'll hopefully upload tomorrow... along with info on how the weekend went with Mark and my sister.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Kamikaze Blow-Fly

As I sit here "doing an assignment" (due next week) I can't help but be easily distracted by this big fat blow-fly who seems hell-bent on braking the glass window in his quest for freedom.


Look here he goes again... I swear he moves faster each time.


He rests for a little while, possibly clenching one of his six fists to the sky, but give it a little while and he'll have regained his energy and will try to fly harder and faster at the window.

In a way it reminds me a lot of myself. I knew many many years ago that if I could work smarter, work longer, research better, make oodles of money, that eventually everything would fall into place and I'd be "happy".

But at each renewed interest, at each corner, I kept hitting this glass wall.

I knew what I wanted - more money. I could see it. I could envision it. I could dream it... but it never came. In fact, oddly enough, whenever it did come it was never enough, I always wanted more?!

It was interesting recounting small significant parts of my life like this to an old friend from school at university on Monday for an hour. We both wanted to find out what happened since graduating back in 1994, and after I had given her a brief synopsis of what I had done and learnt during that time, she, conversely, had done well, very well since then.

I was extremely happy for her. She had done much travelling, using her God-given nursing talents to better serve mankind, and it was great to hear.

The hour flew by.

Kind of like this blow-fly heading straight back into the window!