Thursday, October 18, 2007

Dan The Terrorist

(Okay I'm up at 3 again.)

Probably the most funniest thing that happened on the worldwind tour was in March. One of Dan's relatives was giving us a guided tour of the town and he took us by a prison where one of his daughters currently works.

Now being the snap happy tourist that Dan had been throughout the day he hung out the passenger side window and began taking photos of the building. Unbeknownst to him was a lady standing out the front of the building looking at us do our slow driveby.

I didn't think much of it until a couple of hours later when we had made our way back home that someone in uniform was knocking on the door.

It was two police officers!

"Excuse me sir," they said to Dan's relative, "but are you the owner of this vehicle." They pointed to the car we drove around in.

"Yes," replied Arnold.

"We have received a report that someone was taking photos of the prison today. Would you know who this may have been?"

By this time Dan had poked his head around the corner to see what all the noise was about.

"That was me!" he admitted.

Both cops then entered the house and began questioning Dan, as well as some ID which he produced.

It was at this point that I began thinking maybe I should wrap a towel around my head and introduce myself as Dan's friend Muhammed bin Allah!

Thankfully though the matter was taken quite jovially and when they left we all burst out into laughter.

Our only regret being that we didn't take photos of the officers!

Although at the end of the day it did cause me to wonder if we were likely to receive any visit from the military police considering Dan was taking photos at an air base in Stamford on the same day!
Thankfully no one with AK-47s knocked on our door!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Being Let Jagged Isn't Fun

Okay this isn't fun.

I'm wide awake and it's only 4 in the morning.


Maybe if I tell a story it might help me get to sleep again.

The first set of relatives we saw were a family living just outside of Bristol. As we drove down the motorways faster than a speeding bullet we suddenly realised that each of us stunk. See prior to the flight over from Hong Kong we walked around the main shopping area on North Road. It wasn't until it was getting late that we thought it best to make our way back to the hotel to then head off to the airport.

Unfortunately one thing we didn't know is that after a certain time North Road gets closed to traffic! We tried searching for a taxi, and after trying all the alleyways and sideroads we couldn't find a cab. So what did we do?

We walked back to our hotel. This had both a negative and positive effect on our long haul flight to London later that night: the walk would help us sleep on the flight, yet due to the humidity our clothes reeked of body odour. :op

Thankfully I had an aisle seat for the trip and Dan was on the other side.

But yes when we arrived into Gatwick at 7 in the morning at 7 degrees wearing only shorts and t-shirt the freezing cold air kept us awake. It wasn't until we got our little Fiat hatchback hire car and put the heaters on that we could smell each other.

"Dude we can't go to my reli's like this."

I had to agree. We were unshaven, smelly and messy.

We decided to find a place along the way where we could stop and get changed. Unfortunately there aren't too many places on the motorways where one can do such activity. In the end we found a service station several clicks away from their house where we changed.

And were we a sight to behold! Any person passing would've thought Manpower were in town and were practising some of their new moves with a bowser!

In fact two motor mechanics came out of their workshop to see what was going on. They didn't seem impressed supposing that we were either gay or Dutch.

I tried to smile and wave at them, but when your jeans are around your ankles and you're frantically trying your level best to dress as quick as possible you can only but nod your head and hope they understand...which is what I tried but banged my head on the door in the process.

So that wasn't particularly fun at all, however, we looked much better and smelt much better too.

And have a guess what we asked for when Dan' relatives asked us if there was anything they could do for us?


Monday, October 15, 2007

I's Back

I'm still running on London time here, so if this post comes across as a little incoherent then forgive me - I'm currently in slow-mo mode (well that's what it feels like anyway).

Well after 5 countries, 50-something hours of flying time, and 12,789 cups of tea I've finally made it back in one piece.

I'd like to make a special thank you to Dan's relatives that put up with us during the first couple of weeks in England... we hardly lifted a finger, or spent a pence (cent?).

Some of the memorable moments of the trip were (in no particular order too, because dude I'm struggling to even think):
> Disneyland in Hong Kong (dude when it rains in Honkers, it rains!)
> Shopping in Honkers (dude it's cheap... and this was what won this city over the rest)
> Driving 90mph on the motorways in England (dude we can't even do over 60mph here... well, we can, you just get slapped with huge fines and demerit points)
> Stonehenge (it's just a clothes line for giants I swear)
> The 2,789 cathedrals we saw in England (I really enjoyed Salisbury and Ely cathedrals)
> The London Eye at night (didn't think I'd be able to see much, but the Poms have electricity... fancy that!)
> Ian's cooking in March (dude that was the best meal of the entire trip - and I loved their fat little staffie who's name eludes me in my let jagged state) ;o)
> Greenwich - standing on the Meridian
> Paris - I loved Paris, and I can see why my sister loved it... shame it was frickin freezing (Dan and I only wore a t-shirt and jeans - typical Aussies).
> The Louvre (dude it's friggin HUGE... I think we only pinched it from the stuff we saw).
> The Eiffel Tower at sunset (very romantic... Dan and I held hands). ROFL
> Times Square in New York (who needs sunlight with beaming ads like that?)
> Catching up with the Amazing Dana in NY (dude, she gives the best hugs EVER)
> Getting lost in New York with Dana (it was fun, but at one stage I thought we were going to hit Toledo)
> Rockefeller Plaza (preferred it over the Empire State Building)
> The NY Subway (dude I have never been so lost, so shocked, so confused, and so squished in all my life - no wait, Paris' subway was waaay squishier, scrub the squishy)
> British Museums (okay so I'm a bit of a geek, but those things were friggin huge too)
> The Avenue of the Stars in Honkers (dude, best skyline view at night by far)
> Dan nearly getting arrested (funny story)
> Backpackers in Piccadilly (dude worst experience of the holiday - I'll never stay at a backpackers again)
> Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth (never been so scared walking on glass)

I'm sure there's heaps more, but I'm struggling to remember my name (kanojo kare, D?).

Anyway, here's a pic for the reason behind the last point mentioned above...


When you're 100 meters above the ground with only a thin piece of glass separating you from the floor below the only thought running through your head are: how fat am I again? And okay I was also thinking - please don't do a nervous fart, that would definitely crack the glass! ROFL

More later when I've caught more z's and am thinking a little more normally.