Friday, September 21, 2007

I Missed My Calling

I think I missed my calling: I should've been a politician!

Why?

Well I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm a really good liar, especially after this post.

So after multiple guesses here's how it's panned out...

1. Sent somebody to hospital after causing a cut near their left eye - I liked Likalia's guess on this as maybe the lie was due to the fact that it happened on the persons right eye instead of the left. Nice thinking, but no this actually did happen. If you missed it:
When I was young I pushed my sister (or was it "she accidentally tripped"??), anyhoo when she fell her face collected the only solid object in the room - a lounge room chair's arm. Amidst her screaming and crying when she got up the left-side of her face had blood everywhere... my parent's freaked out (and so did I!) and everyone thought that I had blinded her. My buttocks were given a good tanning (obviously that was more important than attending to my sister?!) and my parents raced my sister down to the hospital where thankfully she only required a few stitches below her brow (just above the eyelid).


2. Had my hair on fire after playing with firecrackers - one of two left... would this be something I'd do??

3. Was stabbed in the back with a real knife - Fiona remarked that it was likely this one as I probably would've said something about it, and indeed she'd be right, but I'm a cunning kind of bloke, and I was merely embellishing here. So this did happen. I had this big freckle on my back (I think my father has similar) and every summer my mum would look at it and see if it had moved. One day she thought it had become cancerous, and even amidst my protest, she dragged me into the doctor surgery and had the doctor cut it out. When they checked it for cancer there were no traces. Great! Now I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing!

4. Made over a million playing the stock market during the tech boom - Dana's first guess was a good one, I mean surely I'd be driving around in a flash car and all by now, right? Well yes, I would be if the market hadn't of crashed! But yes this did indeed happen. In fact the stock that helped propel me to the 7 figure sum was a mining company called Pilbara Mines (I think it's gone now), I was able to get in at the IPO at 20c and watched it skyrocket to $8.00 (a 4000% return on an initial outlay of $25,000)!! But just as easy as it came it also went. I sure had some sleepless nights during those days, and some very painful ones afterwards.

5. Stole a bicycle and then had it stolen from me on the same day - Dana's last guess was this one, but this did indeed happen!
It occurred during high school sport one day where we were told by our phys-ed teacher to borrow someone's bike to get to indoor cricket down the road. I couldn't find a friend who rode to school who would lend me their bike so I decided to "borrow" one poor kid's bike who hadn't locked his up! After riding to the indoor cricket stadium when it came time to leave I couldn't find his bike anywhere - someone had stolen it! In fact, another friend of mine had his bike stolen too! We raced around trying to look for the thief, but couldn't find them. When I arrived back at school I was taken to the principal's office and given a "talking" to. Due to the lengthy "talk" I missed my bus home and my parents had to come pick me up. As the kid who's bike I stole also couldn't get home I offered him a lift home (it was the least I could do, and boy did I ever feel guilty!). After telling the story to my mum as we drove this kid home my mum gave him some money to pay for his twice stolen bike. It was the last time the phys-ed teacher ever asked for us to borrow a bike, they hired buses from that moment on.

6. Swam in the ocean amongst sharks whilst bleeding from the head - Dana's second jab was towards this one, but it wasn't this one. If you missed it...

That was the incident at Coral Bay where my brother threw a snorkel at my head and I kept swimming with the fishes. The area has a few Port Jackson sharks, but PJs are relatively harmless to humans... even if the humans are bleeding from the head!


7. Hid from high school security on the school's roof - one of two left... or would it be this rather bland one??

8. Charged a police officer with theft - Fiona's second guess was this one, and a good one too as it is true I'm definitely no lawyer (heck, the only law unit I ever did at university I failed!), so I can understand why she'd pick this one. But, alas, weird things happened in my little life and this is indeed one of those weird moments. If you missed my answer here it was:

I did charge a police officer with theft when he stole my licence plates... that's a loooooong story (and what made it worse was that I was with my woman at the time!). After giving a statement and having the matter investigated by the chief of police the charges were dropped... but at least I got my plates back.


9. Caused a 12 year old girl to nearly drown whilst canoeing - Dana's fourth guess was on this one, but it did indeed happen (with a little embellishment ;o)). Here's what happened:

It all occurred during a church winter camp when I was 14. I remember the ages well because you had to be a teenager (at least) to come along and when we were paired up and given a canoe I realised my partner was underage. I didn't think much of it until we approached a set of rapids and I told her that we needed to gather some speed to get through them... unfortunately we didn't paddle fast enough and our canoe capsized! Both of us were okay, but for the remainder of the day we were wet and freezin'.

10. Wore a tight bikini for a play - Dana's third guess was on this one even though she kinda thought that this could happen to me, because it did! If you missed it:

I did this at a *church* camp where we had to create our own play and then film it. For some strange reason the plot in our play required a skanky ho (or was it a bimbo?) and everyone thought I'd be able to play that role reallly well - and they had me wear some poor petite girl's bikini. I tried to object by letting them know that, umm, I've got hair everywhere, but they insisted that I do it for the benefit of the "team". Anyhoo, let's just say that, ummm... it turned people off bikinis for awhile, which was a shame because it was summer camp too!


So there you have it - I'm still standing and there's now only 2 left!! Is it something crazy like #2 or something somewhat bland and boring #7??

No comments: