Sunday, September 23, 2007

Off

Well just a quick post to let everybody know that I've packed and am ready to fly. I've been flapping my arms all week and have even applied special aerodynamic feathers to help make my flights run all the more smoother!

Just in case anybody is still wondering about the 9 truths and 1 lie post the lie was...

#2 - I have never had my hair set on fire at any time in my life (but if I go bald I might have to - because then I'll have a legitimate reason for it!).

Whereas #7 happened when we used to play hide and seek on the high school's roof when we were young. A group of us would climb on top of this high school's two storey building and would play chasey on it!! I'm surprised nothing bad happened considering how high up we were and I think tis concern was felt by some of the neighbours so they called the school's security to come sort us out.

Thankfully we never got caught, but there were a few instances where it got pretty close! Eventually the school placed some steel mesh in the areas preventing us from any further fun on the roof.

Anyhoo, let the adventures begin! Woohoo!!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Packing Considerations

If there's one thing I've had to ponder during my packing it's what is acceptable to take with on the onboard luggage.

Having flown around Australia I've had some of the most bizarre stuff confiscated from me, apparently due to it being deemed "a weapon"... probably the most neurotic (I thought) was a pair of nail clippers!?

Nail clippers??

How in the heck are terrorists meant to overthrow the plane with a pair of nail clippers?

Terrorist: Nobody move, otherwise the stewardess gets her fingernails cut!

I couldn't help but gasp and then laugh at the images running through my head as the stern lady told me I couldn't take it onboard (laughing didn't help proceedings either).

So I wonder if other countries are stricter?

Would it be okay to take toothpaste? Or could this be boiled, wrapped in ailfoil, inserted into a rolled up inflight entertainment magazine and used as a weapon too? Or how about an innocent pen? Oh no, this could cause mass destruction on a plane! You could fill it with the inflight chicken parmigiana, wave two blonde hairs together while reflecting the sunlight onto the pen, then dip it in Coca-Cola, and stomp on it and you've now just created a nuclear device that would even make MacGyver jealous.

So it's all for our satefy see.

Well so long as I'm able to board with the clothes on my back I shouldn't complain, right?

(PS - this reminds me of the Chaser guys who also thought that airport security was a little too tight and decided to board a flight wearing nothing but their underwear on and a big clear plastic bag over their bodies... it was hilarious... and yet they were stilled refused entry!?!?)

Friday, September 21, 2007

I Missed My Calling

I think I missed my calling: I should've been a politician!

Why?

Well I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm a really good liar, especially after this post.

So after multiple guesses here's how it's panned out...

1. Sent somebody to hospital after causing a cut near their left eye - I liked Likalia's guess on this as maybe the lie was due to the fact that it happened on the persons right eye instead of the left. Nice thinking, but no this actually did happen. If you missed it:
When I was young I pushed my sister (or was it "she accidentally tripped"??), anyhoo when she fell her face collected the only solid object in the room - a lounge room chair's arm. Amidst her screaming and crying when she got up the left-side of her face had blood everywhere... my parent's freaked out (and so did I!) and everyone thought that I had blinded her. My buttocks were given a good tanning (obviously that was more important than attending to my sister?!) and my parents raced my sister down to the hospital where thankfully she only required a few stitches below her brow (just above the eyelid).


2. Had my hair on fire after playing with firecrackers - one of two left... would this be something I'd do??

3. Was stabbed in the back with a real knife - Fiona remarked that it was likely this one as I probably would've said something about it, and indeed she'd be right, but I'm a cunning kind of bloke, and I was merely embellishing here. So this did happen. I had this big freckle on my back (I think my father has similar) and every summer my mum would look at it and see if it had moved. One day she thought it had become cancerous, and even amidst my protest, she dragged me into the doctor surgery and had the doctor cut it out. When they checked it for cancer there were no traces. Great! Now I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing!

4. Made over a million playing the stock market during the tech boom - Dana's first guess was a good one, I mean surely I'd be driving around in a flash car and all by now, right? Well yes, I would be if the market hadn't of crashed! But yes this did indeed happen. In fact the stock that helped propel me to the 7 figure sum was a mining company called Pilbara Mines (I think it's gone now), I was able to get in at the IPO at 20c and watched it skyrocket to $8.00 (a 4000% return on an initial outlay of $25,000)!! But just as easy as it came it also went. I sure had some sleepless nights during those days, and some very painful ones afterwards.

5. Stole a bicycle and then had it stolen from me on the same day - Dana's last guess was this one, but this did indeed happen!
It occurred during high school sport one day where we were told by our phys-ed teacher to borrow someone's bike to get to indoor cricket down the road. I couldn't find a friend who rode to school who would lend me their bike so I decided to "borrow" one poor kid's bike who hadn't locked his up! After riding to the indoor cricket stadium when it came time to leave I couldn't find his bike anywhere - someone had stolen it! In fact, another friend of mine had his bike stolen too! We raced around trying to look for the thief, but couldn't find them. When I arrived back at school I was taken to the principal's office and given a "talking" to. Due to the lengthy "talk" I missed my bus home and my parents had to come pick me up. As the kid who's bike I stole also couldn't get home I offered him a lift home (it was the least I could do, and boy did I ever feel guilty!). After telling the story to my mum as we drove this kid home my mum gave him some money to pay for his twice stolen bike. It was the last time the phys-ed teacher ever asked for us to borrow a bike, they hired buses from that moment on.

6. Swam in the ocean amongst sharks whilst bleeding from the head - Dana's second jab was towards this one, but it wasn't this one. If you missed it...

That was the incident at Coral Bay where my brother threw a snorkel at my head and I kept swimming with the fishes. The area has a few Port Jackson sharks, but PJs are relatively harmless to humans... even if the humans are bleeding from the head!


7. Hid from high school security on the school's roof - one of two left... or would it be this rather bland one??

8. Charged a police officer with theft - Fiona's second guess was this one, and a good one too as it is true I'm definitely no lawyer (heck, the only law unit I ever did at university I failed!), so I can understand why she'd pick this one. But, alas, weird things happened in my little life and this is indeed one of those weird moments. If you missed my answer here it was:

I did charge a police officer with theft when he stole my licence plates... that's a loooooong story (and what made it worse was that I was with my woman at the time!). After giving a statement and having the matter investigated by the chief of police the charges were dropped... but at least I got my plates back.


9. Caused a 12 year old girl to nearly drown whilst canoeing - Dana's fourth guess was on this one, but it did indeed happen (with a little embellishment ;o)). Here's what happened:

It all occurred during a church winter camp when I was 14. I remember the ages well because you had to be a teenager (at least) to come along and when we were paired up and given a canoe I realised my partner was underage. I didn't think much of it until we approached a set of rapids and I told her that we needed to gather some speed to get through them... unfortunately we didn't paddle fast enough and our canoe capsized! Both of us were okay, but for the remainder of the day we were wet and freezin'.

10. Wore a tight bikini for a play - Dana's third guess was on this one even though she kinda thought that this could happen to me, because it did! If you missed it:

I did this at a *church* camp where we had to create our own play and then film it. For some strange reason the plot in our play required a skanky ho (or was it a bimbo?) and everyone thought I'd be able to play that role reallly well - and they had me wear some poor petite girl's bikini. I tried to object by letting them know that, umm, I've got hair everywhere, but they insisted that I do it for the benefit of the "team". Anyhoo, let's just say that, ummm... it turned people off bikinis for awhile, which was a shame because it was summer camp too!


So there you have it - I'm still standing and there's now only 2 left!! Is it something crazy like #2 or something somewhat bland and boring #7??

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Time Stands Still

During the weekend I dusted off my old luggage bags and came across a small package that I hadn't seen in quite awhile.

As I dusted off the top of the small black case, "Pierre Cardin" written on white on top, I slowly opened it up unsure on what to expect - even though I knew the contents wouldn't have changed.

And sure enough the stylish watch my folks bought in my 21st year was still there... and still lifeless.

As I picked it up out of its case, still wrapped around its soft cushion, I reflected back on its memorable moments.

See, a couple of years had passed since it was given as a gift and when I began dating Ella she came across it one day and wondered why I hadn't worn it out yet.

"Oh, I've just forgotten to buy new batteries for it," I remarked.

Knowing me a little too well she knew the likely chances of me purchasing a battery for it in the near future were slim.

"I'll go and get a battery for you, because you'll want to wear it to the ball," she said placing it in her bag.

I insisted that I would get a battery for it, but she was adamant with her decision - she wanted to bring life back into this little machine's lifeless body.

So, come ball night (6 weeks after our initial date) she handed me back my Pierre Cardin watch complete with beating heart again - it was alive.

From that point forward I wore the watch whenever we went out, and surprisingly the battery lasted ages! I don't know what she did to it, but the thing had a heart of energy that lasted for nearly 5 years!!

Until the day we went our separate ways.

Now I only wore this watch on special occasions, so I don't know if it exactly failed on the day we broke up (I'd like to think that it did), but a couple of months after our break up I had an outing to attend and I decided to wear the beloved watch - only to notice upon opening the case that it had died.

As the clock face had analog dials for displaying day and month I noticed that it's last tock was about 6 weeks after our break! (Unfortunately it never kept correct dates though... so that's why I couldn't be 100% certain that the date it did stop was the *actual* date.)

I wondered at this for a short moment, placed it back on the shelf and since then Pierre Cardin has been lifeless for over 3 years now.

Maybe he'll be back, maybe another woman will give him a new heart and restore his lifeless body again... maybe.

But back to packing...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Rye And Spelt Addiction

To the cute tart behind the counter at the bakery today,

I think your bakery is the bestest in town.

I really really love your rye and spelt loaf. I don't know what it is with that dark bread but it sure is divine.

Kind of like you really, especially your smile, which is almost as white as your skin!

So apologies for bumping into the door on my exit out... I, umm, didn't realise the store was *that* small, and the door *that* close. *sheepish grin*

I hope I didn't break anything. If I did, please let me know and I'd be more than happy to come in and fix it.

From your faithful little rye and spelt bread patron,

Ryan
*rubs sore head*

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

I thought I'd continue on with the same challenge Dana and Victoria done on their blogs.

All you have to do is pick the odd one out (hint: one is a complete fib, the rest are true):

1. Sent somebody to hospital after causing a cut near their left eye
2. Had my hair on fire after playing with firecrackers
3. Was stabbed in the back with a real knife
4. Made over a million playing the stock market during the tech boom
5. Stole a bicycle and then had it stolen from me on the same day
6. Swam in the ocean amongst sharks whilst bleeding from the head
7. Hid from high school security on the school's roof
8. Charged a police officer with theft
9. Caused a 12 year old girl to nearly drown whilst canoeing
10. Wore a tight bikini for a play

So, if you're up for it pick one or two of the above 10 and see if you can pick the lie.

PS - finding 9 truths about myself that seem a little far-fetched was actually harder than I thought! If you undertake this task be sure to let me know.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

If It Doesn't Rain

I just read this and had a nice little chuckle...

The young man poured out his heart's devotion on paper as he wrote to the girl of his dreams:

Darling:

I would climb the highest mountain,
I would swim the widest stream,
I would cross the burning desert,
I would die at the stake for you.

P.S. I will see you on Saturday... if it doesn t rain.


;o)

My Good Ol' Gut

Ah.

Okay, now I get it.

Since visiting facebook several weeks ago a certain someone has been emailing me back and forth throughout the past few weeks (I think I mentioned something before in a prior post about not mentioning her name, so if you've been following you'll know who).

Anyhoo, *that* awkward situation we had several months ago reared its ugly head again with our correspondence and when it did I decided to let it all out and I explained what I said with what I said on *that* night (heck everybody else knew the reasons by my actions by now, so I guess she was the only one left!).

After sending that message off I didn't hear back from her for about a week or so. When she did reply she mentioned that she was hurt by what I had said and was prepared to leave it in the past and move on as friends - if that's what I wanted.

I replied to something of the effect of "this was all I ever wanted" (obviously smooching a "friend" is considered okay for this woman, and if you're a woman and smooching is okay for you please be careful - some blokes out there, myself included, kinda prefer to reserve smooching to the woman they're in love with).

Thinking that things were now finally settled she sent us another message asking for us to come down and watch her play in her team's basketball grand final on the weekend.

Initially I waved it away by wishing her luck, but she insisted that I come down and watch. A little reluctant I told her that if I were in the area I'd pop in for a quick look, but made no guarantees.

Strangely enough I ended up being in the area around her game and thought what the heck... and boy was I glad I went! Besides catching up with old friends at the stadium, I saw her play and was surprised at how she spat the dummy when things didn't go her way - it was an excellent insight!

Now I know when I play a sport that I'm not fully adept at I try and either:
a) do the best I can with what I know (if I'm required to be serious for the benefit of the team), or
b) have fun and joke around.

I unfortunately had to stop myself from laughing numerous times whenever this woman was called for a foul by the referee. Besides profusely denying that it was her that was at fault she put that same face on that I saw on that night where I let rip - it's the I-can't-believe-someone-dented-my-ego look.

It was great.

And then when she was fouled out towards the end of the game, do you think she left gracefully... oh no, she let fly and went off in a tempest.

It was great.

After the game I strolled over and congratulated them on a good fight (albeit a loss) and when she saw us we exchanged greetings before I then went and spoke to their coach. As I began talking to their coach I noticed off to the side that a male friend (?) had similarly wandered over and began consoling her, but consolation soon turned to being all over each other! I really wasn't paying attention, so I don't know if they were smooching, but from the corner of my eye I could tell they were doing things that seemed, to my innocent mind, a little puppy lovish!

It was during my conversation with their coach that the reason for why she wanted me here twigged - she was with someone, or, she was showing off that somebody was really into her! And I couldn't help but feel that it was somewhat rubbed in... I mean, when I had finished talking to the coach she came over and began talking to us without ever introducing the guy who was by her side (and he even joined in on our conversation)... maybe in her mind they were just "friends" (although in his eyes I couldn't help but feel as though he thought there was something more)!?!

Anyhoo, after staying behind once everyone had left I watched another basketball game. As I sat there I began to thank God and my gut about this woman. I'll admit that there was a moment there where I began to doubt myself about the whole situation - maybe I was reading things too much, maybe I was totally wrong about this woman (etc etc), but after yesterday I was so glad to see that my gut still worked (I exercise it three times a day too!! LOL).

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Dude, It's Been Long Time

Wow, it's felt like a bazillion years since my last post in here!

Unfortunately the hardest part has been trying to find the time to write something down. Besides work, searching for presents (we have this unique medley of birthdays in our family that are separated by exactly 7 days! What are people in our family doing around new years?? Hmm...) and I've been preparing for the world-wind tour, so as you can tell I haven't had much time to do... much!

Today though I went back to the city and returned a pair of jeans that I had bought from the previous week (why is that when you try to shop for someone else you end up buying stuff for yourself??), and just like last week I decided to take my camera and take some more photos of the wildflowers that are beginning to bloom in Kings Park.





So at least amongst the craziness I've had time to stop and smell the flowers (roses?)!

I'm hoping in the week prior to my departure I'll be able to have the time to blog about some more interesting stuff.

I hope everyone else is healthy and if you're north of the equator I'm sorry but it's time to hand over summer now... I've had enough of the cold and the rain this winter (although I'm thankful for the rain as we do need the rain down here).