Thursday, June 07, 2007

Er Wenwiss Wen Eallie Eallie Well

No, I'm not speaking in tongues... although I sure sounded like it when I left the dentist today!

Upon entering the dental surgery I told the lady behind the desk that I had an appointment for 12pm.

"Ryan?" she asked.

"Yes, that's me."

"Okay, if I can just get you to fill out your details..." she said placing a new blank form in front on me and motioning me toward the waiting room, "and return it when you're done."

I then proceeded to fill out the form and when I handed it back the lady set about entering my new details into the computer. After several keystrokes the same lady asked from her desk,

"Ah, Ryan you don't seem to be on our recall list. Would you like me to put you back on?"

Oh no, not the recall list!

Every 3 months you get a letter in the mail saying that it has been "some time since your last visit" and that it's "important that you have regular check-ups to prevent plaque build up" (etc etc). All they really do is drag you in, open your mouth, point to your teeth and go...

"Aaah... look another cavity!"

So I sheepishly replied with a...

"Ah no thanks. I'll be fine."

As I sat there waiting for Dianne I found an interesting magazine on exotic Australian destinations - it was really quite bizarre. Some of these places I had never even heard of yet they looked remarkable and some were so close they were like even in my own backyard!!

Enjoying the spectacular beauty of the outback in this magazine a soft voice from above asked,

"Ryan?"

Mesmerised by the voice I closed the magazine, looked up, and saw this chic smiling down at me.

HELLO!

My mouth failed to find the appropriate "Yes" answer and as I stood up I let out a squeak!

"Dianne's this way," she motioned pointing to Dianne who was waiting in the hallway.

As I approached Dianne and moved into the room I wanted to ask Dianne if it was possible that... umm... maybe we could just try have her dental assistant... umm... kiss me better! I'm sure we'd save a lot of time, effort and money... yes?

Ah... no.

Upon sitting on the chair Dianne couldn't have put the bib on me fast enough. I was already a bumbling mess and had to use it several times to clean myself... and Dianne hadn't even started yet!

In fact Dianne didn't even need to ask me to open my mouth... it was firmly agape, although I did feel sorry for Kim (the dental assistant) with that sucking thing she was using on me - trying her best to quench my drool. ;op~

The process took about an hour and a half, and I would've requested Dianne to possibly find other cavities, but Kim had left for the day.

Drat.

After paying for the work the lady behind the counter asked if I was interested in coming again next week for a check-up.

Although I had difficulty talking my eyes were bulging and my head was nodding furiously (more drool flung itself across the room).

"Ok then, so Thursday next week ok for you then Ryan?"

I didn't stop nodding, in fact I even added:

"An cou u pleef poot ne on de lecall liff."

"You'd like to be put onto the recall list?" she asked knowing all to well the dentiff dialect.

"Fank-oo."

And with that I leff.

(Now I shouldn't be all that surprised about Kim. I mean of course she would have a lovely smile - she works at a dentist!)

4 comments:

Likalia said...

Actually contrary to popular belief working for a dentist does not guarantee a great smile. I've seen some people with really scary mouths, both in the chair and behind it, while working for dentists, you almost want to say 'You know they can fix that for you, right?'.

Although working for one does help you keep a great smile if you already have one, or at least that is what I always found. :D

This all reminds me I need to call my dentist and go in for a recall.

Jen said...

LOL Ryan!!

Youre not sitting at home eating a large bag of hard candy as we speak are you, just so you can have more reasons to visit the dentist? Because you know...the chewy stuff works much better for that.

Next time tell her your a stuntman...girls love that stuff
: D

danish said...

Ryan, this is excellent. Now that you're on the lecall liff, not only will your teeth be happier and healthier, but you'll experience the added benefit of socializing with Miss Kim more.

It's a win-win situation, in my book ;)

Ryan said...

Yep, I'm trying my best to dirty my teeth and get as many cavities as I can before Thursday.

Anybody got a drill I can borrow?

;-B