Thursday, March 29, 2007

My Sister's Similar Scenario

Interestingly when I told my sister about what happened on Saturday night she mentioned that she too had a guy say something similar to her when they went out on a first date a couple of years ago.

"Really?" I asked, "what happened?"

"He said something like 'My first impressions of you were that you were a distant, cold woman'" she said bringing a smile to her face no doubt recollecting the scene in her mind, "...and I just laughed."

I joined in her laughter and when we had calmed down she spoke in a serious tone and added, "I think you dented Karina's ego big time. I think she's so used to having guys flock to her it was a shock for ANY guy to reject her, let alone tell her what she's really like."

I guess if Karina had of laughed, as my sister did with that bloke, that would've made things a little different, and no doubt more enjoyable (as well as allowing me to be honest to her about everything), but I guess when you've only laughed twice laughing's probably a difficult thing to do!

Anyway, unless something major happens regarding Karina I won't be mentioning her in here again.

I know I've moved on.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not...

Late Thursday Afternoon

I was just finishing up in the office getting myself ready to do some shopping for a gift for Karina at her house warming party Friday night when my father arrived back from being out on the road.

"Before you leave son, I'd like to have a quick father to son talk."


I knew in the past that father and son talks were generally when I had done something wrong and needed some "help" in making the right decision. I had a funny feeling this talk was going to be about Karina.

"Sure," I said not really having much choice for anything else, I just hoped it was going to be as he said it was: quick.

And as expected the talk was about Karina.

"I think Karina has done enough to show you her intentions," he began, "I think if you want this to develop more you're going to need to initiate things."

Ok, nothing that I didn't already really know.

I nodded.

"You need to understand that you really need to be careful in what you do, because what you might think is just playful banter amongst friends may be perceived by her as your intention to get together. You need to be careful that you don't lead women on."


This sent my mind into a strange spin. My father continued talking, but my mind was now a million miles away...

Do I lead women on?

I was now reflecting upon every instance where I could quite possibly have led Karina, or any other woman on, and at every instance I couldn't think of how I would lead women on.

"Hold on," I said interrupting him, "Karina will know if we are dating because I'll specifically tell her that we are going on A DATE. And I've even told her this."

But now my mind was churning again: Is dad saying this because he's been picking things up from mum, who has picked things up from my sister, who in turn got intel from a friend of Karina's?? In essence, is this coming from Karina??

He continued talking, and by the end of our short conversation I was feeling rather flat.

"I kinda feel as though I really shouldn't be attending tomorrow night's party," I said as I left.

"No, no, by all means go, but please be careful on how your actions may be received."

If finding a house warming gift for someone who's place you've never been to was going to be difficult enough, having your head worry about the very things you do and the vibes you emit made it even tougher.

Thankfully Chris was able to help and although we scaled the shopping mall up and down for the perfect house warming gift, it wasn't until the closing bell that I was able to find a groovy plate that caught my attention and would suffice as an adequate gift.


I never knew shopping could be so tiresome. I don't know how women do it!


There was no awkwardness when I returned back into the office the next day between my father and I. I kind of understood where he was coming from in the end. I mean, I don't feel anything for Karina, and I know he knows that (and everyone in here too), but by possibly staying around her and doing the things that we do together she might be getting the wrong impression.

I suppose my father was trying to say that in a polite fashion.

Friday Night

I had a wonderful time at Karina's place. She enjoyed her gift, and I was able to catch up with old friends from Claremont that I hadn't seen in about 5-6 years.

During the night Karina came over and found an available chair beside me and asked whether I was having a good time.

"Yeah, you've got some good friends," I said encouraging her on an effort well done.

As the night began to cool a couple of us moved inside and sat on her comfy couch. While people made their way to leave Karina came over and began rubbing my shoulders each time only lasting a few seconds, but doing it several times.

I didn't respond to it, until with one occassion I made the Austin Powers joke by saying, "Lower". Several people laughed.

When the people I was talking to made their way to leave I thought it best that I probably follow and leave to. So, heading out back into the yard to say goodbye to everyone I eventually came to Karina who seemed a little upset that I was leaving so soon.

As I leant down to give her a goodbye hug I noticed that her eyes were focussing on my lips. I moved closer and closer and closer and could tell that she wasn't looking as though she was going to hug and at the very last minute I knew she was going in for the kiss!

Eeek! What the heck's she doing?

Bail, bail, bail. My mind raced, but it was too late. I tried quickly turning my face hoping she'd catch my cheek, but she ended up getting the corner of my lips.

THEN she hugged me.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" she asked.

"I've got a church picnic to attend," I said.

"Well we can catch up after that if you like, because I'll be at Perry Lakes till 7pm."

"I'll give you a call then," I said quickly trying to get out of there in case she tried jumping me never allowing me to leave her presence again!

On the way home it was difficult to think about anything but the "attempted" kiss.

What is she doing?


In the morning my sister asked how well Friday night went and after telling her everything about it she said that it was time that I took the relationship to the next level: Karina obviously was wanting it!

I agreed, but things still didn't fit right.

"I'll see how things pan out tonight," I said then telling my sister that Karina and I were to meet again tonight.

But firstly I had a church picnic to attend - which went alright, unfortunately I was mistaken about the food as there wasn't any (unless you brought your own!). I also wasn't sure whether I was being had with what my mate said about meeting some chics because there was a wedding nearby and I thought that it was therefore a joke, but when a family rocked up with what appeared to be a single mid-20s female I knew what my mate was talking about.

Most of the afternoon was spent with the kids though and we never really got to talk much, but she joined in as we played some French cricket, threw a frisbee round, and kicked the footy for the kids, and she seemed to have fun.

But my mind was whirring away at other things.

Interestingly though at the picnic I got talking to a mate of mine Mark who has had many dating opportunities in the past, but little success. In fact, he talked about his last date that he had the previous weekend where he took his date on a first date to a movie and apparently half-way through the movie she jumped on him and they passionately kiss for about 10 minutes!

Wow, fast woman!

What perplexed Mark though, was at the end of the night, he wanted to give her a goodnight kiss, but she wouldn't have it!

"It was the weirdest thing Ryan," Mark said to me, "she was over me like a rash during the movie, and then when we leave she gives me the cold shoulder... what the hell??"

Now I don't know the full story, maybe Mark did something wrong, but I do find it rather weird that a woman would passionately kiss a bloke on a first date!

Whatever happened to modesty?

Saturday Night

After the church picnic I gave Karina a call and eventually we caught up around 8pm in Subiaco over some Japanese.

The night and meal went along well. Karina talked more about her travelling plans for this year (and for the next) and also threw in once again another case of some poor bloke trying to chase her. She was just like her friend (my ex) Lyndal - loves the chase.

Guys were like a yo-yo to this girl: she keeps them on a string and makes sure that by keeping herself distant (by galavanting across the globe) that they never get a taste. And hey, don't get me wrong, I love travelling just as much as the next person, but I'd much rather travel with someone who's company I enjoy rather than just doing it so I can tell others how much I've travelled in my life time.

So by the end of the night, with her stock price declining, I decided it was time to drop the bombshell.

To be honest I just had to let her know. She had been honest with me and had made her intentions/feelings known (fairly obviously) so I decided it was time to tell her mine.

Here is where the night soured...

"Many months before we met, Jon-Jon told me that he was trying to set me up with you," I said, "he asked whether I had known you from Claremont and he was sure that we had met before, but I insisted that I hadn't."

I could feel my heart beginning to get heavy and my mind quickly shouted, I think you should preface this by telling her that she's probably not going to like what you're about to say next. But my mouth kept going.

"When we met at Jon-Jon's place for the first time my first impressions of you weren't good."

Her smile faded instantly.

Dude, play dead... cough up some wasabi, but whatever you do don't keep going...

I pressed on...

"My first impressions of you were that you were rude and opinionated and I was glad that you were with someone else."


Those words spilled out so heavily that I even struggled to stay sitting upright.

"But," I quickly added, "I soon understood why you were like that because of the person you were with at the time. I knew that you had to be on your guard with him, and I personally believe that we become like those who we date."

I wasn't making the bomb blast any easier to bear and I could see that she was almost going to cry.

When I noticed her reaction I looked down at my hands and thought - What the hell have I just done??

"But you've changed," I said softly knowing at how ineffective it would be.

I tried throwing in an apology, but it just made things worse.

"I don't think I've changed at all since we've met," she stammered.

Whoa! That was interesting.

"I'm... going to go..." she was trying her best to remain calm without getting teary, "can we... get the... uh... bill."

I apologised again, and did my best by offering to pay, which I did. I got up and gingerly went over to the counter to pay.

How the heck do I get out of this one??

When I had finished paying she was outside.

From here she wanted to know why I had such an opinion of her considering that we had hardly spoken that night. It was true, and that was the very reason why we never spoke - I found I hardly got a word in edgewise as all she ever did was interrupt or look away uninterested when I spoke. So after spending 10-15 minutes getting to know HER I just walked away and played with the dog!

Unfortunately I couldn't think. My mind threw up blanks.

I apologised again and reinforced that what I had just said was my first impressions of her and that since I had come to know her how I had enjoyed her company.

"I wouldn't be here if I still had those thoughts," I said.

But anything that came out now was automatically thrown into the waste basket. I decided to go in for the jugular and threw in something completely inappropriate...
"I've been under the impression that you want to take this to the next level."

Heck, I thought, my apologies were falling on deaf ears, and there was nothing I could do - if I'm going down in a blaze of something then I'm going down.

And then she quipped, "No, I just wanted us to be friends!"

What the...???

Now I was perplexed. I stayed silent in thought for awhile as I pondered upon Friday night's hit-and-miss-kiss, and her very demeanour now - if we are just friends, why are you so upset right now??

I kept silent and softly apologised again.

I felt terrible.

She said her goodbyes, gave me a hug (without the kiss thankgoodness) and even though I offered to walk her to her car she declined the offer.

As she walked away I stood there thinking on how ugly that went: I couldn't remember anything more uglier in my life. When she had crossed the road and was no longer in view I made my way to my car and drove home.

The bombshells then just kept echoing through my head all night.

It was difficult to sleep.


When I awoke Sunday I amazingly felt refreshed!? It was the weirdest feeling and I thought that maybe I was just having a dream. But then I thought, why would I feel bad over someone who I really didn't care that much about anyway??

Oh yeah, but it did feel like a break up.

And that was the weird thing: we were never together!

But I think the way it ended was out of character - I was a jerk. But do you know what? I'm kinda glad I was and that she DID take it badly, because now at least there's finality to it.

After a good bike ride in the afternoon I was able to clear my head and for me everything was back to normal.


I received a text message from Jon-Jon telling me that he had heard that I "bummed out" with Karina the other night. He told me not to worry about it and that it happens, but I quickly sent a message back saying that I was fine.

And that's how the last 5 days have panned out.

I'm just bracing myself for further repercussions and fallouts, but for those that knew me and my opinion about her it was inevitable - I just couldn't date her.

I guess to continue with one of my analogies: I was the yo-yo that yanked myself free - shame I took her finger off in the process and made it all ugly!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Now The Church Is Doing It

This Saturday our church has organised a big sunset picnic at one of the local parks in the area.

After the service last Sunday one of the blokes who I cycle with on Saturday mornings asked if I was going to the picnic.

"Yeah sure, I'll be there," I said knowing what our church's outings are like with the enormity of food available. Heck, even if it were a Tupperware party I'd still go - and you think I'm joking don't you? I'm serious, you have no idea how many good cooks there are at our church and you've got to make sure you save some room for dessert!! I'm even drooling right now!

"Oh good," he said pausing a little after glancing over his shoulder making sure his wife wasn't around, "there's some chics I'd like you to meet."


Don't tell me the church is now trying to set me up!!!

"Hallelujah we got Ryan hitched!"

Although, I'll quickly add that the bloke I cycle with has a history of practical jokes so I think he's either pulling my leg, or thinking that by dangling a woman in front of me I'll come along... if only he knew how I felt about the food.

Another House Warming

I forgot to mention the fact that I did end up receiving an invite to Karina's house warming party a couple of weeks ago (which is this Friday night).

I'm more than likely going to attend as there'll be old friends from Claremont that I haven't seen in ages that I'd like to catch up with and I'd be interested in meeting Karina's family (if they're invited?).

Last week I tried initiating another weekend together, but she was a little flat out at work and nothing eventuated. She invited me to come fellowship at my old church Claremont, but I declined (I had my own church to attend).

Anyhoo, I guess we'll see how things go.

Maybe she'll surprise me and begin laughing more, or maybe she wont.

We'll see.

Summer Please Don't Go

Summer please don't go.

Those in the northern hemisphere wont appreciate you as much as I do.

I mean, Likalia and Victoria live in Canada and we all know Canadians never have summers - just warm winters where it doesn't snow!

Dana told me that she loves the cold and wishes it were even colder!

Jen lives no where near a beach.

And Mandy lives in the desert where every season is a summer!

So, as you can see dear Summer, the rest just wont appreciate you as much as I do... so why not stay here with me a little while longer.


Saturday, March 17, 2007

Is That A Tattoo?

The bruise on my backside still lingers.

In fact, it's got what appears to be a lightning bolt through it and because the surrounding area is black is looks like a tattoo... a tender tattoo.

Hmm, I think the lightning bolt is my pelvic bone.


Monday, March 12, 2007

A Pain In The Ass

I'm in a little pain at the moment.

I've got a bruise the size of a tennis ball on my upper ass.

It hurts to sit down.

How did I get in this painful predicament?

On Saturday night I went with a group of friends from church to Adventure World - a mini fun park in Perth fit with water slides, a pretty crap rollercoaster ride and a slow go-cart track. I used to live near this park when I was young so during my younger years I was a regular attendee - until I got bored with it... which didn't take too long.

Saturday though saw me break a 6 year drought at this place... and things had slightly improved, although it was still quite easy to get bored.

Anyhoo, the ride that killed my ass was the single tube slides. We all grabbed our tubes, jumped into the water and began our descent down the slide.

First thing I noticed when I jumped into my tube was how deflated it was... it was like laying on a mat with a hole in it! Oh well, too late to turn back now as the teenage slide attendant grabbed my tube and threw me down the first rapid.



I had flipped over in the first pool after hitting the first bump and when I came up for air I had someone's foot firmly planted in my face. The teenager above was throwing people down the rapids at a rate of knots... and there I was stuck in the pool's whitewater. Eventually someone hit me powerful enough that saw me pop out of the whitewater... although my tube was still left behind!

Bumping down the next set of rapids trying to reach my tube (which slowly followed behind) I ended up in another pool, although this time I easily found myself able to stand - only waiting for my tube to follow. I saw others popping out from the previous whitewater so I quickly grabbed my tube, jumped into it and dove down the next set of rapids... that proved to be a big ass mistake!

Firstly, I found that you should never jump into a tube espeically a flat one and one where you're ass can easily act as a park brake, and secondly, you should never speed down a set of rapids - especially a sharp sloped one with a narrow end.


Yep, I can picture it all happening in slow mo right now. As soon as I hit the narrow part of the rapids I was spat out like a curry poopie and ended up in a shallow whitewater grave that didn't have just one bump that hit me in the right spot, but three of the little suckers.




Two for each cheek, and one for... yeah... you get the idea.

Again I flipped over in the deeper pool at the end of the bumps and I guess I was a sight to see for the rest coming down... just a big ass hanging in the air with a pink plastic wrapper around it!

Another kick to my tube turned me back upright, and I heard others wince in pain as they traveled down the same rippled area.

"Ow, ow, ow..." winced one.

"Arr, argh, ah... oh my... that actually felt quite good..." said one bloke in a pair of budgie smuglers!


I gingerly stood up and began rubbing my ass a little, but when I saw the budgie smugler bloke enjoying the view I quickly hightailed it out of there and jumped back into my tube. This time I thought I'd done the smart thing and jumped onto my tube with my stomach, but this proved quite dangerous for my... umm... future as another narrow rapid spat me out into a shallow pool.

Thankfully there were no bumpy bits, and thankfully I was able to stay on my tube! However, that didn't last long when I was sucked down the last large rapid that ended up in the large pool: my tube got knocked out from underneath me by the bloke with the crazy feet and as it sped away I soon found myself on my stomach sliding down the last bump and into the water.

Thankfully my tube awaited me at the bottom of the sharp rapid and helped break my fall... if you can call that "helped" when your head and arms end up in three different dislocated directions!

Ah, Adventure World, how could one ever get bored here?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Found Joy

On Sunday night at my brother's house warming party someone told me an interesting piece of info about Joy. Being bored the day after (on the public holiday) I decided to get in touch with my ol' investigative self and did some searching to see whether I'd pull anything up.

And to my surprise I was shocked in finding an actual photo of her!

Here she is...

She's the blonde... and, yep, the first thought that ran through my head when the photo finished loading was "Not another blonde haired blue eyed chic!"


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

"You Can Leave Your Hat On..."

So there I was drying off after frolicking in the Indian Ocean, and as I grabbed my stuff to leave I put my hat on and didn't bother putting on my t-shirt.

Now I'm not one to show off my sexy hairy chest, but hey it was dark I was hot and I just couldn't have been bothered putting my t-shirt on.

When I jumped into my car I wrapped the towel around my waist and when I sat down in the driver's seat I thought, Bugger it, I'm only going to drive a couple of minutes down the road before I'm home so there's no point in point my shirt on.

As I drove to an intersection a silver hatchback drove up alongside and what would you know a car full of teenage chics high on some song that sounded like Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun!

One of the chics in the car looked around, saw me as she bopped along to the song, smiled, wooed, and then prodded her friend sitting next to her to look. Her friend turned her head saw me then whistled.

When both looked to see if they had my attention I looked at them, returned a smile, and in the 5 seconds we had left I quickly pointed to my hat and said with a big grin...

"This is all I've got on!"


The light then flashed green and I quickly sped away... the chics, now in the rear view mirror were cracking up... and so was I.

(And thankfully they didn't stalk me back home!)


Now where was that Tom Jones song??

Women & Waves

The last couple of days in Perth have been a tad hot. Temperatures have hit 42C (108F) both days and Carnarvorn set a record for the hottest March day in Australia's history with 48C (118F)!!

And you all know that it means just one thing... BEACH!!

Both today and yesterday I hit the beach and I got a little reflective as I waited for the next perfect wave and that thought was...

Choosing a woman is like choosing a wave.

Here are the similarities...

1. You need to pick the right sized wave: you don't want a woman that's too small (i.e. young), you need a mature wave.

2. You want to catch a wave with the best curves. ;op

3. You want a wave that you can go the distance with.

4. And if you don't treat her right you'll likely get dumped!

Yep... women and waves the likeness is uncanny!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Can The Real Karina Please Stand Up

Saturday's lunch with Karina went well. Although it was relatively short (went fir about an hour) and the time spent was not an indication of how well the occasion went.

(The main reason for the shortness was due to her preparations for the triathalon the next morning.)

This time though I noticed another laugh, and then it was never seen of again.

(Next time I hear it, I'm going to give her a compliment on how nice her laugh is and hopefully that'll be a hint.)

Probably the strangest thing about the whole time was that she was completely different, but a good different (although still a little nervous). She wasn't so abrupt, nor intense... she was actually "softer".

It was quite refreshing and it left me wondering whether that was the same Karina I had known since December, or maybe I was eating out with an identical twin (in fact, I went shopping with my sister last week as we had to buy our brother and his wife a gift for his house warming party and I saw this chic that looked exactly like Karina! I couldn't believe it... I had to stare as this lady walked past just to make sure it wasn't Karina - but the similarities were uncanny!).

So was there a spark? Any chemistry yet?

No and no... not yet. If she let her laugh out I would say that there may very well have been something, but she doesn't let it out near enough as she should.

At my brother's house warming party tonight several family and friends enquired about how it was all going with Karina and I and I voiced some concerns that I still had and also the lack of chemistry between us.

The friend who had set us up said I was getting waaaay too analytical about the whole situation...

"Listen dude," he said, "you haven't been with a woman for quite some time and you're being quite ANAL-ytical about the situation when you shouldn't be."

Point duly noted.

"But dude, I'm not going to get further involved if I don't feel there's any chemistry."

"Well there wasn't any chemistry between Ally and I until we pashed," he said referring to his wife.

"Yeah, but who wouldn't feel chemistry with someone who gives you a passionate kiss?"

I dunno. Maybe I am too ANAL-ytical. :o)

But I do know that there will come a time where I'll have to make a choice on whether the friendship we have can be anything more and to do that I'll have to ANAL-yse what my heart is saying.

Lastly, Karina sent text messages to all her friends a couple of days ago about a house warming party she's having in a few weeks.

"Coming, Ryan?" asked Ally at my brother's house warming tonight.

I looked at my phone, saw a blank inbox and said, "I haven't even got an invite??"

Weird... but I promise I wont analyse why.