Sunday, February 11, 2007

A Stoney Heart?

I think there's something wrong with me.

("Tell us something we don't already know," you're probably all saying!)


Last night with Karina went well. What started out as a casual coffee, ended up with dinner, but I suppose that was to be expected considering we had coffee at 5:30pm and after an hour of conversation we decided to keep it going by grabbing a bite to eat.

But when the night had finished and I reflected upon the occassion I felt empty. And for the life of me I can't figure out why!?

I mean, we talked about a whole range of things, we never had any silent awkward moments, she didn't appear to be too nervous, and I even saw her laugh (which is one of those strange silent laughs actually - which is probably why I couldn't remember it, and even then it wasn't a real turn off).

So why isn't there any attraction? Why don't I feel anything towards this woman? Is it the fact that I don't have a 9-5 job yet and therefore keep myself out of the dating scene knowing my shortcomings for being able to provide for my wife and family? Or have I grown too accustomed to the single lifestyle? Was it something she said? Or something she didn't say?

To be honest friends I can't pinpoint this strange lack of attraction to any of those questions.

It's frustrating. And being a bloke I want to know the why. I'm just not content with leaving my decision to the failure of not feeling anything - a typical blokey response, eh? And I also know family and friends wont be happy with my decision, especially those who set me up with her.

Hmm, maybe I need a heart transplant?


Jennifer said...

You? A stoney heart? No way. NO WAY. Don't beat yourself up about this. Give it a few more dates maybe? She sounds pretty great.

Though, if things get serious with you guys, will you have to change the name of your blog? :)

Ryan said...

Hey Jen!

Yeah, I know... me? A stoney heart? What the...?

I think one unsettling thing that I've realised with Karina was that because she is quite proactive in life you kind of feel as though you need to be constantly doing something to keep her entertained.

I mean, she even made mention that she has a short attention span and that she's quite random. I suppose she needs to be like that to stay awake.

Me, on the other hand, could quite easily find contentment by staring at a blank wall and getting lost in my own imagination!

But is that the reason why I feel this way... dunno. Could it be the culmination of a lot of little things? I hope not, because I know no chic is perfect.

I think I need to do some cleaning round the house, and maybe go for a bike ride. Something that can help me to NOT think too much about this strange empty feeling.

Hehehe - yeah, if I end up getting a date I'd probably have to rename my blog! Any ideas?

How about "Another Guy"!?? LOL

Likalia said...

You could always just add - "I was" to the blog title. :)

I agree with Jen on the giving it a few more dates thing, but I would also keep your initial reaction in mind. I think we often times know how we feel about people right away but sometimes put that aside for various reasons. The hesitation isn't always a bad thing, just a chance for you to think. (If that makes any sense - I might just really need to sleep.)


Ryan said...

That's a good idea Likalia!

But I'd probably prefer a whole name change - maybe something more creative.

Thanks for your advice, I've posted some more thoughts and I think if anything does eventuate between Karina and I she'll have you ladies to thank.