I think there's something wrong with me.
("Tell us something we don't already know," you're probably all saying!)
Last night with Karina went well. What started out as a casual coffee, ended up with dinner, but I suppose that was to be expected considering we had coffee at 5:30pm and after an hour of conversation we decided to keep it going by grabbing a bite to eat.
But when the night had finished and I reflected upon the occassion I felt empty. And for the life of me I can't figure out why!?
I mean, we talked about a whole range of things, we never had any silent awkward moments, she didn't appear to be too nervous, and I even saw her laugh (which is one of those strange silent laughs actually - which is probably why I couldn't remember it, and even then it wasn't a real turn off).
So why isn't there any attraction? Why don't I feel anything towards this woman? Is it the fact that I don't have a 9-5 job yet and therefore keep myself out of the dating scene knowing my shortcomings for being able to provide for my wife and family? Or have I grown too accustomed to the single lifestyle? Was it something she said? Or something she didn't say?
To be honest friends I can't pinpoint this strange lack of attraction to any of those questions.
It's frustrating. And being a bloke I want to know the why. I'm just not content with leaving my decision to the failure of not feeling anything - a typical blokey response, eh? And I also know family and friends wont be happy with my decision, especially those who set me up with her.
Hmm, maybe I need a heart transplant?
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