SETTING: A dinner party Tuesday night
DAVID (don't call him Dave he'll give you a karate chop to the back of the head): Did you know my brother can fit a whole cheeseburger in his mouth?
EVERYONE (in awe): OoOoOoooooooo
ANDREW: My brother once stuffed a whole super sized muffin in his mouth!!
EVERYONE (still in awe): OooOOoOOOoOOooo
ME (turning to my brother): Why don't you tell everyone that your brother beats them all hands down.
Even though everyone heard me, my brother announces over the table that his brother can beat them all hands down.
ME (now whispering to my brother)
Upon hearing what I can stuff into my mouth, he laughs and announces...
MY BROTHER: My brother is notorious for putting... his own foot into his mouth!
ME (chest up, announcing proudly): And when I'm on a roll I can usually get both in there!!
Yep, my big fat mouth.
1 day ago