Unfortunately I've moved since last year and the house I'm in this year doesn't have a chimney, so I cannot offer you a healthy meal - unless, of course, you can climb through aircon vents??
Add to the fact that I wont even be at home during Christmas and you can no doubt imagine what my request will be: could you please deliver my Christmas presents a little early... preferably Thursday night while I'm asleep, as I leave Friday morning for Albany.
As you know Santa, I'm a simple bloke. I don't demand much. In fact, with all the goodness I've done throughout the year, I'm sure my Christmas wish will be a bargain.
So, without further ado, here is what I'd like this Christmas...
- One Tesla Roadster please - I didn't get the Ferrari last year so I thought I'd lower my expectations a little and get something more practical, and better.
- Kate Beckinsale... if she's available could you please drop her off. I don't mind if you have to wake me when you deliver her, I'm sure I wont be able to sleep Thursday night anyway!
- If Kate isn't available could you possibly get Livinia Nixon. I know she's single.
See! I'm not such a fussy bloke.
Anyway, I'll leave the back door open and the back light on so that you can easily get in and out... just leave the booty in the lounge room on the floor if you happen to find it - otherwise anywhere will do.
From your good little boy down under,