Monday, October 30, 2006

Na Blo Ma Mo

I don't know what the acronym is for that thing people are getting all excited about in November on the net, but I know it has something to do with writing a book during the month... starting from scratch.

It's a good idea, because I know I've had the best of intentions of writing a book but always put it off.

I always seemed to have struggled with the simple things such as... a plot.

But in a sense I'm kind of glad I didn't get involved with a book club, or a writing club, or a na blo ma mo club because then I never would've blogged.

And blogging is waaay more fun than writing a book... I think (well I haven't really written a book so I wouldn't know).

And from my high school experiences I found it much easier to write a short story than a full on 10 page one, but that could've had something to do with the fact that I started and finished those assignments on the day they were due!

Oh well, at least that one person who reads my blog appreciates my being here.

So to you my dear friend...

You rock!

And you never know, if I keep blogging I might be able to put it all together and compile it into a book in the future!

Now there's a scarey thought for the na blo ma mo group in 5 year's time!

Who Jumped Over The Moon?

The controversial daylight saving topic has reared its ugly head in Perth again.

We've trialled it a couple of times, but with each time it gets vehemently opposed.

Apparently it has something to do with our cows!?

And you think I'm joking don't you?

I'm not.

Yep, believe it or not but ol' Betsy chuck's a wobbly when her teats get squeezed an hour early.

(Kind of brings a whole new dimension to holy cow now doesn't it!)

But yes, it's true - farmer's don't like getting up an hour earlier, neither do bakers, and Betsy definitely doesn't either.

And without Betsy's high quality milk Perth just can't function dear folks.

Kids don't get the calcium they need to get their bones strong and healthy, therefore their teeth rot, concerned parents drag their brats to the dentist to get their canyon's plugged up, dentists then go ape with the amount of work, which puts pressure on the chemical companies to produce their toxic flouride and amalgam concoctions, who in turn put pressure on mining companies to dig up that crap... and everyone's cranky because the baker's sleeping in and no one can have their toast in the morning with their tea because drinking milk in the morning is just shocking (and who the hell drinks soy milk bar tree hugging hippies???)... so all this leads us to our inevitably conclusion dear folks: the end of the world for Perth!

And to think it's all over a stupid cow that'd be better on a barbie rather than on my breakfast (I don't even drink cow's milk!).

Anyhoo, it looks like we'll be trialling it in December, so for any of those who are travelling to Perth during our summer this year I'd like to warn you that we could all be cranky and suffering from mad cow's disease.

You've been warned.

(Am I the only person who thinks the term 'mad cow' is funny? Mad cow, mad cow, mad cow, mad cow... hehehe... mad cow, mad cow, mad cow... ok, maybe it's not so funny after you've said a few hundred times, kinda like a joke - ain't as funny the second time round.)

Back In The Game?

On a different note I received a telephone call from my mate Jon-Jon tonight about a basketball team needing a player.

He was going to get back to me about whether they'd be interested in having me play, but he wanted to know if I was interested in playing on Monday and Thursday nights with them.

I couldn't for Thursday, due to other commitments, but Monday's would be fine.

"Do you remember Bruce?" he asked trying to help me remember who I'd be playing with.


"Yeah, remember the State Youth Games?"

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah, remember Bruce?"


"Yeah, remember Peter?"

"Oh yeah, roo boy."

"Yeah, that's right - remember Bruce?"


"Yeah, remember Julie and Deanne?"

"Oh yeah, that athletic chic and your ex's sister."

"Yep, and remember Bruce?"


I couldn't for the life of me remember a Bruce.

I know OF a Bruce, but he's in a wheelchair and wouldn't be playing basketball anytime soon (unless a miracle happens), but not the Bruce of the State Youth Games, roo boy, athletic chic and Deanne.


Proof I Had Brown Eyes

Here's proof that I once had brown eyes (I think - I mean they could be red?).

This photo was taken by my mum at my 28th birthday.

Oh ok, I'm lying... it was taken on my 27th.


But notice how my eyes are brown?

(I like that funky top!)

Well, what I want to know is where did all that green stuff start creeping into my eyes??

Can eyes change colour during a lifetime? I'm not going to turn blue by the time I hit 50 am I?


Or maybe these baby photos around my folk's place aren't of me!!

Maybe I was adopted!!!!

Maybe I'm the long lost heir to the throne of some country far far away, or an heir to some rich family!!!!

Mmmm, I suppose that's just wishful thinking.

If I look around at other photos dotting this house I can see my brown eye evolution.

Oh well.

The Most Important Meal Of The Day

This week I'm housesitting at my folks place while they're sunning themselves on the opposite side of Australia in Port Douglas.

I hope they're having fun, because this morning I know I wasn't.

As I fossicked around for some brekkie I found a packet of muesli.

Great! I thought, I love muesli in the morning! In fact, it comes a close second to a beautiful fruit salad. Oats, and raisins, and nuts...

And as I poured a bowl of the stuff along with some milk I grabbed a spoon and shoved a whole wad of it in my mouth.


It wasn't until I had taken my second spoonful that the overbearing flavour of the milk began to wane and the real taste of the muesli came through.

"YUK!" I spat, "Oh, this is gross."

And it was then that I remember the good ol' days when my father used to make us breakfast when we were kids. He cared a lot about our health, and made sure we had the best start to the day by eating a proper breakfast.

And he did this by making us a homebrew muesli.

It was breakfast any horse or bird would KILL for, but as for human consumption we found it terribly difficult to swallow.

Even after much complaining and groaning we still had to suffer through his breakfast day in and day out.

We even tried a few fake sickies, but that didn't work. We tried harder by dispersing the food all along the bowl to make it seem as though we only had a little bit left and we could therefore be dismissed, but even that didn't work. We even tried putting some up our sleeves, but when you wear pyjamas that don't have sleeves it was an extremely difficult con to pull.

If there was a way to escape my father's muesli in the morning it was tried... and all failed.

"By eating this you'll be giving your bodies the best start to the day," he would often remind us, "because you know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"

"But this is bird food," I whined aloud one day.

"And you don't see any sick birds flying around do you son?" he quickly retorted sounding a little too cut-and-pastish as though he'd prepared for that answer years ago.

It was pointless arguing against the man.

We ate our muesli. And as we grew up we would always take up an invite to stay at a friends place for a sleep over knowing that in the morning we wouldn't have to eat ol' father's muesli.

Instead we feasted on the triple-chocolate-coated-funny-coloured-sugar-bomb-breakfast-of-champions cereal that everyone else ate.

That stuff was amazing... it could make any normal healthy child a diabetic within minutes!!

In fact, I understood why Phar Lap was such a fast horse... he was given the breakfast-of-champions!

Not the breakfast of birds.

So, this morning, when I tasted a few mouthfuls of the muesli my folk's had stored in their pantry it reminded me of those horrid days.

And if my father happens to ask what I thought of that meusli when he comes back I'll say...

"It didn't last long!"

Friday, October 27, 2006

Profiting From Pizza

$50 - $34 = $466.60

Yeah I didn't quite understand it either.

After waiting patiently in line for several minutes while an old bloke tried to bust some moves on the European chic behind the counter he came to his senses and noticed he was holding up a queue... me!

"Oh sorry there mate," he said excusing himself away from the counter where I could pay for my order.

"That's okay," I said, "I thought you were just talking to your granddaughter."

I don't think he heard my last bit - it may have had something to do with the earpiece in his ear, but as he wobbled his way back to the table I saw one of his old mate's wink at him and smile.

Oh boy, I felt sorry for what this European chic was going to be in for tonight.

"Yies, kan I hilp yew ser?" she asked.

I was trying to make out what accent she had, it definitely sounded German, but could also have been Czech, maybe Bulgarian (although I had no idea what a Bulgarian sounded like), or Romanian (ditto), or perhaps even Latvian! Heck, it could very well have been Italian considering it was an Italian restaurant!! I just didn't know, but I think the old man before me was hoping to find out... ew, gross, does that mean I think like an old man!

I bumbled a bit trying to find my own native tongue (yes she was hot) and spat out something that didn't sound English, nor Eastern European (or German, or Italian).

"I'm sorry," I paused and after grabbing hold of my tongue told her why I was here, "I've come to pick up two pizzas."

"Ah yies," she said flicking through a short stack of receipts, "tew vegeterien."

"Yep, that's sounds right."

She told me the total price, being $34, and I gave her a $50 note.

After plugging the data into the cash register $466.60 came up.


She stared at the numbers.

How cool's this! I thought, they give ME money to take their pizza! I think I might order as much as I can, I'll even go and back up my car right now!!

The chic was a little befuzzled by the ordeal.

She checked my receipt again, looked at what I had given her, and tried to calculate how much change she had to give me because OBVIOUSLY the cash machine wasn't working.

"Ei giv yew $16 yies?" she asked.

"Yep, that's right," I answered, "but I don't mind if you give me $466 dollars."

She gave me the $16 in change, handed me the pizzas, and thanked me.

Yep, I think it was going to be a loooong night for that chic... good luck!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Oh, Eye See

Today I was testing my new digital camera's features and wanted to check out how good the zoom was. I wanted to put it through it's paces and looked around for something close that I could take a shot of.

And oddly enough I decided to take a photo of my eye!

(It probably would've been the funniest thing if someone had walked in while I was taking a photo!)

As I was doing this and looking at the resulting photos I was reminded of an instance back in high school... art class actually...

See, I thought it would be an easy class - all you had to do was draw, paint, sculpt and throw bits and pieces together and voila there you had it...


In fact my art probably spawned all the useless stuff we see around today... you know, the "art" where people just throw stuff on a canvas and have people pay big bucks for it? Stuff that a two year old can do... or a high school student in a rush to get out on the basketball court at lunch!

But it was during my young adolescent high school years that I used to draw an eye whenever I was bored.

Weird, huh?

Other kids graffitied, or tagged stuff, I just drew eyeballs.

Man I was cool.

And whenever I was looking (pardon the pun) for inspiration I'd just start drawing an eye - and it was amazing how I'd get work done when I'd find a piece of paper staring at me all day!

In fact, with one assignment it was the only inspiration I had... and as the last minute drew closer and closer I decided to draw a real big eye as my final assignment piece.

Grabbing a large piece of paper I tried my best at drawing a big circle (which proved to be far more difficult than I envisioned) that was going to be the outline of the iris. I then had to draw an inner circle that was going to be the pupil... at least a smaller circle was easier.

Okay, now what colour should I make the iris? I asked myself, you know what'd be cool... drawing my OWN eye!

How cool was that going to be!

I could see the A++ mark already!!

Alright, now what colour is my eye?

Even though I had looked at myself every morning in the bathroom before going to school doing my hair and brushing my teeth I really never noticed what colour my eyes were - I had a vague idea that I had two... but just what colour were they?

I asked my art teacher if I could be excused to go to the toilet.

I was granted my petition.

I hurriedly went to the boys room, went up close to the mirror and had a good look at myself.

Okay, they look brown, with a bit of green. Easy.

I scurried back.

Happy with the task at hand I quickly began colouring the brown portion of my iris.

I was cruising.

And after finishing the iris I began on the black pupil and completed it in no time... I was going to get this done in less than an hour!! Woohoo!

Unfortunately everything went downhill from here. My art teacher strode over, leant down to where I working on my masterpiece, and asked what I was doing.

"I'm drawing a big brown eye," I proudly replied beaming at how well my artwork was coming along.

Before what I said even registered my teacher was fuming. I looked at my work and saw two concentric circles: one brown outer circle with an inner black circle. I hadn't drawn the almond shaped eyelids, nor the eyelashes, or any eyebrows yet.

In fact, truth be told it really did look like a brown eye! (I was never that good at art and my circles really weren't that round! Eeek!)

Soon laughter erupted from my classmates which sent my art teacher bonkers. Next minute my arm was yanked from it's socket, my artwork ripped from off the table and she trumpeted me down to the principals office.

"I will not have you make a mokery of my classroom," she fumed.

I tried my best at explaining, but it fell on deaf ears.

"Now I know why you went to the toilet," she said, "you wanted to get a good look at yourself didn't you? You DISGUST ME!"

"Well I did, but not like that," I replied.

I could see the futility of my efforts at trying to reason with her... maybe it was that time of month for her.


As we stormed into the principals office we quickly discovered that he was out - I was lucky. My art teacher didn't want to hear anymore from me and knew that she had to get back to a now rowdy classroom.

"You think about what stunt you were trying to pull and come back after you've spoken to the principal," she spat as she stormed out of the admin office.

I sat there with my brown eye for awhile but nothing happened.

Stuff this!

I was drawing an eye, and I wasn't going to let her period pains stop me from completing my task. I looked around for a pencil at the admin desk (which was always vacant unless you were in trouble), and I began drawing the eyelids to bring better formation to my brown eye.

I was thankful that I was able to finish the almond-shaped eyelids to my eye as no sooner had I finished the principal walked in.

"What are you doing here, Ryan?" he boomed.

(I was that common in these parts that I was now known on a first name basis!)

"Hi, sir... I'm just doing... an... art... project... and wanted to... draw your eye," I blurted.

Boy was I glad he had brown eyes!

"Nice, Ryan," he said remarking on how close I got it to the real thing.

I was surprised too... I mean, if I really were doing his eye I would've painted it red not brown as that was all I ever saw of his eye colour!

"Isn't your class just about finished?" he asked as he slipped into his office.

"Ah, yeah, it probably is," I said regretting going back to the old cow, "can I ask a favour please sir?"

I heard the principal stop whatever he was fossicking for in his office and slowly move back to the door.

"What, Ryan?"

"Could I get your autograph on my artwork please sir. I think it would help me *greatly* add that unique personal touch. I might even put it in for the Archibald prize!"

I smiled.

The principal returned the smile and happily scribed his signature on my masterpiece.

I thanked him and quickly made my way back.

Not surprisingly I was met by the mad cow.

"I hope you learned your lesson, young man," she said.

I wonder if she even knows my name, I thought as she continued...

"What did the principal have to say?" she said as she raised her chip up.

"He liked it," I answered showing my artwork with his signature on it.

Her mouth fell to the ground.

It was priceless.

No... it was my the inspiration I needed for my next piece of artwork.

See, I told you drawing an eye brought inspiration!

Anyway, here's a shot of my "brown eye", which oddly enough seems less browner now than what it once was, but... then again I am colourblind...

Monday, October 23, 2006

Dude What Are You Doing With My Hand?

I don't know what it is with people, but most seem to get it wrong when it comes to handshakes.

If I put my hand out so that my palm is facing up and my thumb runs parallel to the ground I'm expecting you to slap it... sorta like a high five, but it's a low five.

If I put my hand out at right angles to the ground then I'm expecting you to shake it.

So when I'm ready for a slap I don't want you shaking me, and when I'm ready for a shake I don't want you slapping me.

(Okay, I'll freely admit that that kinda does sound weird... don't take it out of context!)

Unfortunately my homies at church just can't seem to wrap their head around the hand structure yet, but they'll get there... before I start slapping them.

Although one homie, Stevie, seems to have cracked under the pressure. Yesterday he tried his level best to crush my hand with a handshake.

Which brings me to another point I'd like to make: if there's one thing I prefer in a handshake with another bloke it's a firm one. I don't like my hand to be squeezed to the point where my eyes bulge out of their sockets, nor do I want you to shake my hand limply - which personally just freaks me out, but maybe women feel differently about that issue.

But in case you have a friend who always prefers to make you squirm when they're handshaking you (giving you a hand crush) here's a tip... go deep.

That's right.

Go deep.

As soon as they put their hand out, go as far as you can into their hand and their power will be negated.

But getting back to poor Stevie who was now receiving some of his own medicine back...

Stevie, if you want to make someone squirm because of your super hand crushing skills you need to make sure they have scrawnier forearms than your own. You want to make sure they don't exercise much with their forearms, and do things such as, oh, I don't know... bike riding.

And whatever you do Stevie don't try this stunt on a bloke who rips telephone books in half (no, it's not down the spine) you wont get any sensation returning back in your hand for about a week!

I know... I tried to be a smart alec like you too, once.

Pain Threshold

I was watching this week's episode of What's Good For You and they asked the question that went along the lines of: Which sex can withstand pain better?

And they were going to give the answer after an ad break.

It was during the ad break that I guessed the answer was likely to be women. I mean, giving birth doesn't tickle - not that I've experienced it, only what I've heard.

So the answer was easy.

Surprisingly though, after the ads, the answer was in fact MEN!


But then again, should it really come as a surprise?

I tell ya, if guys could have babies it'd become an Olympic sport.

Engineer Jokes

I had a good laugh this morning when my brother sent me a couple of engineer jokes. (And no, I'm not an engineer)


An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess; that I'll stay with you for a weekend and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look. I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."


Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want."

The other engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The Birds And The Bees

If there's one thing I find annoying when cycling about this time of year (spring)... it's the birds and the bees.

And yes I mean that term in its literal sense, rather than its allegorical sense, but I thought I'd use the term for a play on words.

Lately though there seems to be a high number of kamikaze pigeons on my route. And as much as I try to berth around these stupid creatures they still seem to find some way to fly right in front of me!

Maybe the pigeon's are playing chicken or something trying to impress the females? Tsk.

Then there's the bees.

With all the flowers out bees have been busy.

Which reminds me of Bill. He went riding the other day and got a bee caught under his sunglasses! What made it worse was that the bee stung him and his face puffed up so bad that he looked like Muffin man! He was thankful it didn't sting his eye!!

Probably the biggest concern I have is swallowing a bee. Or having one caught at the back of my throat... as I've had the pleasure of many flies doing so. The problem with a bee would be its sting! Can you imagine getting one caught at the back of your throat and it sting causing you to not get air!!!


Sounds like an episode for House.

Thank God for being able to breathe through my nostrils. I might have to wear a mask next ride.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Oh The Pain

Pain, pain, pain.

That's pretty much the only memory I have over what happened during the last couple of days, all starting on Friday.

My first painful experience came Friday afternoon.

My mate Chris and I went and saw the latest flick The Departed. The movie was alright, although I could feel every minute of its near 3 long hours of play time, but just when things were beginning to get interesting (about 10 minutes before the movie's end) Chris gets a call and we have to leave to go pick up his car before the mechanic shuts up shop!


I didn't get to see the end, although I had a rough guess at what likely happened.

My second painful experience came Friday night with the small gathering of close friends and family to my 29th birthday doo at the Stringy Bark restaurant.

The pain felt at this place was purely self-inflicted... somebody ordered an 800g steak!

I nearly had to be rolled out the door when I had finished!

But the most painful part to the weekend was the Masters Games.

My first event that morning was Ten Pin Bowling.

If there's one game I completely suck at it's this, and what made the morning worse was that my partner had to pull out from the event due to work commitments. I therefore had to play 4 games!

I knew that if I bowled 4 games I was going to have one sore right arm and thumb, so I decided to even it up and bowl left arm, and maybe a few with both hands... and maybe a few between the legs... and a couple more from around the back... oh and don't forget to do it back-to-front... and maybe throwing a couple with a lighter ball... and how about kicking a few down... or using two balls at once... or doing an Austin Powers dance hoping that my mojo would see all the pins faint... or putting on heaps of Lynx deoderant hoping that would knock 'em down... or... bowling fast... or... bowling slow... etc etc...

Yep, I did pretty much all of the above, and out of 40 rounds I only got 2 strikes! I think my highest game score was 78. The average of my opponents was around 150. They were twice my score, and twice to three times my age!

But all wasn't lost. If points were awarded to quantity of laughs, quantity of spectators, fastest bowling speed (at 39.3km/hr - it went so fast it nearly looped out of the gutter into the next lane!!), and creativity I'm sure I would've won.

Alas, it wasn't to be, so I quickly slipped out of my bowling slippers and sped off to the next event...

Mixed volleyball.

Unfortunately we had a little trouble with the mixed part of mixed volleyball - we only had one woman, and the rules stipulated that we needed at least two women on the court at all times.

I was prepared to put on some makeup, a skirt and a sports bra for the team, however, that option was quickly shot down when after informing the official of our predicament he instructed us to play with only 5 on the court instead of 6.

I felt sorry for the poor woman on our team who had to play 6 consecutive games without a rest. She was a trooper.

By the end of the event we won a couple, but lost the other 4.

My last event was basketball.

Out of all the events I played today this was the one I was looking forward to most. I hadn't played in ages, and I was suiting up with guys I had never played against nor played with before.

While I displayed some moves that would've impressed even my younger glory days there were some moves that were much to be desired.

Unfortunately though as the day wore on so did my body. Each game was high intensity, and it made it all the more difficult when we had a 20 minute break between our 3rd and final game - I was as stiff as a board.

We didn't get to enjoy winning a game, but I did enjoy playing.

By the end of the day our church ended up finishing 8th (out of 12!) - I was glad we didn't get the wooden spoon!

And it wasn't until Sunday morning when I woke up that I felt like I had been hit by a truck! Every muscle in my body (and there's LOT of them! ;op~) was screaming.

Even during church service the worship leader instructed everyone to take a seat while the pastor brought out the announcements...

"Aaaaa..." I screamed as I tried to sit down "...aaaa..." my hands began to shake as I gripped the pew for better leverage at getting myself to sit "...aaaAaaa..." by now the entire congregation had turned to see just what animal was making all that noise.



I'd landed.

After the pastor had given a few short announcements the worship leader instructed everyone to stand for the land hymn before today's message.

Oh no.

Everybody stood.

"HahAhAHaaaaa..." I was trying to stand up but at the same time the strange sensation felt through my legs was almost ticklish, I didn't know whether to laugh or scream! "...hahaaaaha..." the piano began playing to drone out my noise "... Ha... llelujah!"

I was up!

The pain brought back memories of the days when I first began using the squat machine at the gym. For those that have done squats you know what pain I'm talking about - you take about 30 minutes just trying to get onto the toilet seat after a heavy squat workout!!

So yes, have sympathy for me people.

I'm in pain... and yes, even today, although it wasn't as bad as yesterday. So don't laugh while I'm squirming away.

And I suppose after all this it leaves you asking only one question...

Would I be willing to do this all over again at next year's games?

For sure.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Ok That Was Awkward

Last year a friend of mine gave me a Sanity voucher which was set to expire in a couple of days. I had used it to purchase a DVD, but still had about $15 left on it.

So... not one to waste, I decided to use the remainder of it.

It was when I was walking my way to the Garden City Sanity store that I saw my ex-girlfriend's best friend coming the other way.

When I saw her it quickly dawned on me that she had once worked at the Sanity store in Garden City... but I thought she had given up that job ages ago?? Obviously not.


I braved a smile and as she approached she glanced up, saw me, quickly looked back down at her bag, but in that split second glance up she registered who I was and looked back up at me.

"Hello," I said as the travellators pulled us closer.

"Hi," she smiled.

And then that awkward silence fell.

Gee I wish travellators would move faster, I thought.

"Finished work?" I asked as we got to within touching distance.

"Yeah," she answered.

"I'm just on my way there," I said.

By now we had crossed.

Come on, come on, can't this thing speed up.

More silence.

Oh crap, what if she thinks I was going there to see her!

"I was given a gift voucher last year and it's nearly expired," I said.

Now I felt like a twit.

But I didn't care, we were now at the end of our travellators and we both said a quick goodbye.

I don't know why but after that ordeal I felt like I needed a shower.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

It's Show Time

When I was a child my father used to always obtain free tickets to Perth Royal Show and this year he was able to secure a hundred or so and a couple of those tickets fell my way.

I remember the years when each of us kids were given a "budget" and we had to allocate what we wanted to do with our money on either rides or show bags.

And, being smart, we spent pretty much 100% of our budget on buying show bags.

Years ago $20 could have bought you so many show bags that you'd never have enough time devouring all the junk food inside before it went off, but now $20 *just* gets you through the door!

Unfortunately though nothing really tickled my fancy at the show this year. As Chris and I wandered through the showgrounds we were heckled by the usual suspects of salespeople in the pavilion pushing some new invention that had probably already been out in the States for years, or salespeople at the games side taunting us to shoot a ball through a 12ft high hoop (no thanks... but I do know where I'd love to shove that ball though!).


Going to the show isn't like going to the movies. When you go to the cinema you're in expectation of seeing something new (provided you haven't seen the movie before), unfortunately at the royal show it's the same ol' crap... just more expensive every year!

When Chris and I ate our stuffed spud for dinner we reflected back on the best times spent at the show... and oddly enough we both enjoyed the year when we took two Canadian chics.

As the royal show was a new experience for these ladies they made what was once mundane and boring to me lively and exciting to them and we all shared in their enthusiasm.

Which got me thinking...

Next time I go to the show I'm taking some foreigners! I'll be their tour guide, and they can be my troop.

After spending several hours at the show we both caught an early train ride home. For the first time EVER I left the royal show without purchasing one show bag.

Maybe it's the end of an era.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Wildcats Won!

Yep, it's definitely been ages since I've been to a basketball game. There were only two players on the whole court that I recognised from my previous days and both of those players are getting old in the tooth and are likely to retire in soon!

However, in some way it did help as there appears to be some new rules that have come into the game and I'll need all the help I can get with the Master's Games in a week's time!

I might have to buy a ball and find a hoop to take some shots at.

And before I go the Wildcats beat Townsville.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Men: Women Are Kryptonite If You Play Sport - Watch Out!

Tonight I've been invited to a Wildcats game by Jon-Jon and his wife after they were able to secure some free tickets last week.

It's been ages since I've been to a basketball game - especially a Perth Wildcats one, in fact it's been so long that my last game was when Ricky Grace and Andrew Vlahov used to play (probably some 3-5 years ago)!

As Jon-Jon asked me if I wanted to go during the weekend we talked about our basketballing days as we had met on a basketball court some 12 years. Interestingly our conversation moved onto the topic of women and basketball and how there was a strange correlation between how well we performed to how involved we were with a woman.

The more I was single, the better I played. Conversely, the more I was involved with a woman, the worse I played.

It's true: Women are kryptonite!

But, it's no fault of the woman though and I'm sure the same thing can be said about men from women who play sport.

So why does this happen?

Well, when you're single you have more time to yourself. You train, you exercise, you practice more (etc etc), but when you're partnered with someone that same time spent honing your skills is now spent with that special someone.

Which brings me to an interesting *short* relationship I had with a woman. She never noticed me during my normal basketballing days. It wasn't until I trained and trained and gained notoreity by playing better that she began to take somewhat of a liking towards me.

I decided to take that small bit of interest and see if I could build it up.

However, after finding out more about her and her superficial ways I quickly backed out.

After our break we paid no more attention to each other than what we had before, but it wasn't until later that same year when all the effort I had put in to improve my game paid off with a grand final win that with all the awards and notoreity I received my interest from her increased exponentially!

But all she got was a polite...

"No thank you."

It made me think about it a little, and I came to the conclusion that if you're interested in someone because of what they've achieved you need to take into consideration two possibilities that may happen if you get together:
1. They will no longer be as good as they are now as their training time will be spent with you, or,
2. They will improve, but will only slot you in when it doesn't interefere with their training time.

I soon came to the realisation that while exercising is an essential part of staying healthy playing sport competitively is just a waste of time and energy: playing for fun was much more memorable and enjoyable.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Logies

I've never watched the Logies before.

And I had only seen a couple of episodes of the The Chaser's War On Everything.

But after watching Chas do a bonehead challenge I couldn't believe how much he got away with during the last Logies awards! In fact, I couldn't stop laughing at what he did!!

If you want to see what happened go here. Select which player you want to use, then your broadband connection, click "Logies Bonehead" and watch the 4-minute challenge.

These guys have no shame, and take the piss out of pretty much everything!

Masters Games '06

I'm a little too old to participate in the SportsFest games now, however, I've now made the age to participate in the older version of those games with the Masters Games.

Similar in style to SportsFest, the Masters Games is run by the Church of Christ groups and involves people from 28 years and over.

As I've never been 28 years old before this will be my first time.

Events that I've enrolled for are:
  • In the morning: Ten Pin Bowling - I would've preferred tennis, however, I'd have to find a chic to partner with from my church who was over 28 and similarly wanted to play it... I had no such luck. And if there's one event that I totally suck at it's ten pin bowling. Even if I have the rails up I still only score around 100!

  • Lunch: Volleyball - we needed two women for this and according to some of the other guys in the team they were able to convince their wives to play.

  • Afternoon: Basketball - haven't played it in ages, used to play it all the time - will be interesting to see how I go.

The event will be on in two weeks - 14th October at the Warwick Rec Center - a couple of days after my 29th birthday! Yay!

Hopefully to all those involved we have some good fun.

Old Friends

I had a good long weekend away last weekend.

Besides playing plenty of golf the most memorable part was catching up with old friends at the SportsFest event in Eaton and Australind.

Most of those that I saw I hadn't caught up with for at least 5 years... and it's amazing how much people have changed during those years!

One friend had married, had a child, and has just finished settlement with the divorce.

Another has had a change of career and is studying to become a teacher.

Another had just been diagnosed with cancer when I last saw her 5 years ago, and has now fully recovered.

Another was getting married with the man she had just started dating 5 years ago.

Another had a child - and yet 5 years ago I remember them being adamant about not having children.

And yet, I surprised myself in that I could remember all their names!!

A lot can happen in 5 years.