Tuesday, September 12, 2006

If I Had A Dollar For Every Time...

If I had a dollar for every time someone at my brother's wedding mentioned one of the the following I'd be a rich man...

"So... Ryan, when are you getting married?"

Being in the eldest in a family of three I think everyone expected me to be the first in pretty much everything in life. Initially I'd palm the question off by saying something funny, but as the question kept coming my answers turned more and more serious.

On one answer I gave to someone I told them that there just weren't any women in the age group I seek - "Sure, it's great for the ego to be able to get 20-21 year olds," I told them, "but the last thing a woman wants to do at that age is settle down, in fact, at that age they're life's just getting started."

"What are you nuts?" was the reply.

I'd tend to think I'm a little more mature.

And if I were given a dollar for every time that question was asked I think I would've been able to BUY a bride!

"Where did you get your hair done?"

This was probably the funniest quote. I mean, which guy (even at a wedding) has ever had his hair professionally done??

Each answer I gave was, "Oh it's this place called 'My Bathroom' and they actually allow you to do your own hair!"

Some were a little inebriated to fully appreciate the humour.

"What do you think of [insert chic at wedding here]?"

The "chic" would range from the bridesmaid I was locked with during photos and waltzing, to the waitresses, to someone who knows a friend of a friend who happens to also have a friend who just so happens to have a daughter!


"Are you gay?"

This would pretty much immediately follow immediately after the previous question. Especially if the person who asked the question had pointed to anything in a skirt and asked what I thought about her.

I had to politely tell one inebriated person that that "chic" he pointed to with the large skirt on wasn't actually a chic... it was a table with a sheet over it.


Ah, fun fun.


Did I mention that people asked when am I getting married?


Victoria said...

don't you love that if you're past a certain age and not married, the inevitable question (from drunk people) is "are you gay"

yes. I'm not married, therefore obviously I'm gay because gay people are all single and unmarried. Even in Canada and the UK where they're legally allowed to marry.

Woah. Bedtime for me. I'm ranting and not making sense.

So.. yes.


Bed now.

Victoria said...

it was lighthearted, not ranty and turned ranty. a sure sign of needing sleep.
feel free to delete and pretend i was never here. shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Victoria said...


it's not 12:22 pm here if anyone's wondering why I'm going to bed in the middle of the day.

/just sayin.