Monday, August 07, 2006

I'm Turning Into An Elephant

I don't know what it is lately, but my memory is working reallly well.

Maybe too well!

(And to think that I haven't had any fish for weeks!)

So what's with my head this time?

I think I know how my Kate Beckinsale crush started.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't put to the *best* use, but I found the memory interesting.

It happened over the weekend where a mate tried to impress me with some photos he had on some chics he thought were hot. After scrunching my nose at all of them he began thinking I was either gay, blind, or, just picky and peculiar.

Hopefully he settled with the latter.

"So what chics do you like?" he said ready to do an internet search.

"Any chic with a great smile," I said, sighing at the all too often repeated answer.

"Any names?" he asked.

"Oh you know, Kate Beckinsale, Livinia Nixon... Lara Bingle - but she's too young... I'd feel like a pedophile staring at photos of her!" I joked.

It was the combination of "Kate Beckinsale" and "young" that unlocked, what I think could very well be the history behind the Kate Beckinsale infatuation.

Sit back and relax while you delve more into some of my history...

We'll need to go back to my primary school days at Samson, a new school that had just been built down the road from where we lived - it was to be my second primary school, but only for a couple of years. And I wasn't too happy about Samson during their building phase either. The area the school was built on cleared all the wonderful BMXing bush tracks.

But as I was soon to discover it wasn't all *that* bad.

Our first year of Samson Primary School saw me hit it in Grade 4. It was easy making friends as most of them lived just across the road and everyone was new.

It wasn't until 5th grade where I noticed a new girl in 3rd grade (eeek!!! I hope this doesn't make me a pedophile!!!). Anyway, I can remember her brown hair and her cute smile and I was immediately hooked.

I can remember playing some handball type game with her during lunch times, but as I was responsible for scouring the bush for lost balls these moments were too short-lived, but I didn't mind as searching for these lost balls meant I had a good excuse for getting back to class later than everyone else.

The best memory I have on the Shannon, the grade 3 girl, was the time when Samson had this "fun day" where we divided up into groups and did all these whacky obstacle courses. Oddly enough grades 3 to 5 were chosen to participate and even more bizarre was the fact that I was chosen to be a leader.

Each leader had to chose who they wanted on their team, starting from everyone in grade 5, then grade 4, then grade 3. I didn't really care about who else was on my team: I only wanted one - a girl in grade 3!

And I got her too!

Although, as my classmates soon ribbed on me, I found through my selfish act that I had all the "retards" on my team, I remember their ridicule at some of the people I had chosen, but I didn't care - we were going to have fun... and I had my girl, and that was all that mattered.

Amazingly enough we had a huge amount of fun... well, at least I did, I felt like a king and she my queen as I barked orders at the boys while she kept everyone attentive. Our team dynamics were awesome! In fact, we came together so well that we really did have a heap of fun with the obstancles, even completing some quite easily... and I think this had a lot to do with all the short "retards" I had on my team!!!

We were a nimble bunch.

I remember at one course a teacher couldn't believe we had finished wriggling through the maze of chairs that she demanded we do it again! We did... and at a quicker time than our first (because we knew our way) - she recorded our fastest time, too!

Eventually though we hit our wall.

Quite literally.

We were now no longer throwing things, or wriggling through things, or running around things, we now had to climb over what looked like Mount Everest: a huge triangular shaped thing with rope all over it.

As we struggled, I climbed up and then keeled over and reached down trying to help them up one by one. After about 5 minutes we had just completed our first... rung!

We continued helping each other up the face, using our clasped hands as steps and by the time we hit the apex it was easy sailing all the way down, but 12 minutes had passed.

And then it was over.

We all hugged... maybe some more than others... although I don't know which two! ;o)

And the principal read out the results.

He started out with the team that finished last, which surprisingly wasn't us, and then continued up to first place. As each team cheered their results I began to think that maybe they had forgotten about us.

The team looked up at me asking, "What did we get? What did we get?"

There were a couple of instances where I didn't hear the principal yell out the results so I told them that we finished "around the middle". Everyone smiled and clapped and hugged again.

"And in second place..." boomed the principal in the background during our happy-we-finished-in-the-middle-somewhere celebration, "... oh my, are we sure this is right?"

The principal stopped and we now begun whispering amongst ourselves at each of the obstacles, pointing to each of them individually and remembering who fell over what and who did better or worse than the rest of us.

"Is Ryan's team!" said the principal surprisingly.

We weren't listening.

We'd already celebrated.

To be honest it didn't register, as soon as the principal read out our name the only other team left, which therefore came first, roared in celebration. The principal then read out the first placed team.

We on the other hand just kept chatting and laughing amongst ourselves, oblivious to what had happened.

Even when the teacher came over and presented us with 2nd place ribbons we still didn't know what was going on.

"Here Ryan here are your ribbons," said the teacher with a handful of second place ribbons.

When I saw them I quickly ran to the teacher and said, "I think you gave us the wrong one's miss."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, turning around.

"We didn't finish second, we finished 10th or something."

"No, you finished second."

She walked off and gave me just-do-as-your-told-and-stop-being-a-smart-ass-and-distribute-the-damn-ribbons-to-your-team look.

I turned around looking to see if any team complained about their 10th-place-or-something ribbons and ran back to my disbursing team.

"Guys, guys," I yelled bringing them back in a huddle, "WE GOT SECOND!!"

Right then and there you thought we had won first place. Heck, if teams were given extra points on how noisy they were on celebrating their place we probably would've taken first!

We hugged again, and this time I got a peck on the cheek by Shannon and we proudly wore our second place ribbons.

We were the proudest "retards" you'd ever seen, I don't know how we did it, but somehow we did... and all I cared about was not washing my left cheek...


1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Aww, sweet story! You do have an awesome memory. And I definitely don't think fifth and third grades make you a pedophile.