Sunday, June 25, 2006

He Doesn't Know That I Know

On Saturday I ventured back south of the river to catch up with a few people, one of which I hoped to be my friend Chris who was still in hospital.

However, just as I was about to leave my grandfather's place and make my way to Fremantle hospital I received a call from him.

"Hey man, I was just about to call you," I said answering the phone.

After finding out how his surgery went I asked him whereabouts he was staying so I could continue our conversation at the hospital.

"Nah, don't worry about coming over," he said.

"Why?" I asked making it seem somewhat strange (although knowing altogether why).

"Oh... there going to be doing some tests on me and stuff."

He was lying. I don't know much about knee surgery, but I know last time he had his knee opened they didn't do much except kick him out the door a couple of days when it was done!?

No doubt Emily was either there or coming over to visit him.

"I hope you're not keeping all the cute nurses to yourself," I chided.

"Nah, they're all old and ugly here."

"Oh well, maybe some other time."

Having nothing else better to do than to fix up Betsy I set about travelling back home via Super Cheap Autos picking up some needed parts.

Nearing home I received another call from Chris.

"Hey man, are you still in the area?" he asked.

"No, why?"

"Oh, it looks like they've cancelled my appointment for today if you still wanted to see me I should be fine."

Obviously Emily had a hot date with her other man that afternoon and had to cancel (oh yes, Emily *is* seeing another man... in fact, a man that was once very close friend of Chris' - I tell ya it's worse than a soapie if you knew all the details about it).

But... it was too late.

I apologised, but told him I'd made other arrangements and maybe I'd catch up with him when he got out.

For the remainder of the day I fixed up ol' Betsy's indicator stick - an excruciatingly painful job, but I'm glad it's fixed - it saves me having to stick my hand out the window when I want to turn now!

Unfortunately my sister's done quite a job on her car and it seems as though she's going to be without her car for another week.

I hope she takes care of my Betsy.

I'm A Leader

Another personality test and another report that doesn't tell me stuff I don't already know.

;op

Thanks Jen for the link, here was my result...



My Personal Dna Report

Friday, June 23, 2006

Not Again

Last Saturday my mate Chris played his second game of basketball in as many years as I've been out of the game.

On the day he played I received a call from him a little earlier than usual.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, it's me."

I could sense something was wrong, basketballs were bouncing in the background umpire's whistles were blowing.

"What's up?"

"You're not going to guess what's just happened?"

"What?"

"What do you think could be the worst thing that could happen to me?"

Your ex falls pregnant with your baby? I joke in my mind.

"Oh no," I pause trying to think of what it could possibly be and then it hits me, "it's not your knee is it?"

The reason Chris left basketball many years ago was a knee injury that happened on court. He required surgery and rehab just to regain his ability to walk again. I never thought he would've played again... it seems I was kinda right.

"Yes, but it's not the one I had surgery on!"

*phew*

"It's the other one."

Huh?

"It's snapped."

I couldn't believe it, but then again I couldn't similarly believe that he wasn't in excruciating pain!?

"Are you sure it's snapped?"

"Yep."

And no doubt he would know.

He was then escorted by his folks and admitted to Fremantle Hospital for surgery.

Of which he is still in hospital waiting his turn.

While most of this story has been quite a shock it received an even shocking reception from me last night when I visited Andrew and Pauline.

"Have you been in to see Chris since he's been admitted to hospital?" Pauline asked.

"No, I haven't."

Unfortunately my sister, on the same day Chris snapped his knee, drove up over a curb whilst driving back from a night out with her new man (luckily she was the only person in the car).

So all week I've been without a car while she tries to find a sump, new tyres and other odds and ends needed to fix her car.

"We saw him last night," Pauline continued.

"Oh yes, and how was he."

"He seemed fine. They've been keeping him on pain killers while he waits."

"I would've thought the Freo nurses would've sedated him enough," I joke.

"...or Emily," Pauline dryly adds.

I couldn't believe it. The very woman he vowed to finally get over and move on with his life now was nursing him.

Apparently his folks visited him one night to see her "all over him".

*sigh*

Just when everyone concerned thought both of them were going to do the "mature" thing and go their separate ways, it seems it's back on again.

I've never known such a rollercoaster relationship.

I mean, if you've broken up with someone 5 times while casually dating during the space of about 3-4 years, then got back together the sixth time by having him propose, then broke off the engagement the week after the engagement party, got back together because they couldn't get a refund for their honeymoon trip, broke up after their honeymoon trip, and now (as it appears) back together again!?!?!?!

And no I'm not exaggerating!

It's worse than a soapie.

And that's what frustrates me about the whole ordeal. I couldn't care less who he marries - even if it's her, I'd just wish he'd be man enough to make a decision and stick with it. If you're going to marry, put up with her, if you're not - take separate paths and get on with your lives.

Some Great Quotes

Some good and funny quotes I read today, just wanted to make sure I didn't forget them so I posted them here. Enjoy!

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.


Nice!

A couple of funny ones...

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.


And...

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.


Or equally as funny...

"Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious."
- Oscar Wilde


And this one's funny because I think it's so close to the truth...

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.


And one more...

"Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly."
- Thomas C. Haliburton


You can read more here.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Lakeside, Lakeside, Lakeside

Last night Chris planned a night out at Lakeside to watch the men's and women's state basketball match.

I was a little reluctant to go, but considering I had nothing else to do last night I thought it wouldn't hurt.

See, Lakeside and I go waaay back.

Ever since the stadium was built in 1992 up until late 2000 I played basketball there nearly every second day.

I loved it.

At the age of 19 I tried out for the men's 23s Lakeside team, but felt my skills weren't up to standard and requested personal coaching lessons.

Looking back at that day where I kicked myself from the team I shouldn't have quit.

Anyway, over the next year I ended up receiving private coaching lessons, and when my coach said that I was more than ready I felt taking it the next level was no longer worth it.

As the next few years rolled by I played as high as a non-professional could, but after conquering that hill my enthusiasm for the game began to wane. Soon new younger blood entered into the game and with them came a new style of play - player's with 'tude.

And with that playing ball was no longer fun. So I hung my boots up after a rolled ankle and maybe only played once a year for the next couple of years until I didn't play at all.

To be honest I can't believe it's been maybe over 3 years since I've played a game and around 6 years since I've played a season.

Wow.

Anyhoo... heading to Lakeside last night was a little nostalgic, however, as Chris and I were within a minute or two away from the stadium the DJ on the Sonshine radio station that I had just tuned in to said,

"... and it's not too late to catch Lakeside Lightning play tonight at the... Perry Lakes Stadium."

We had the wrong venue.

Chris was disappointed, I was secretly elated.

Chris still wanted to watch at least one game during their season and as we drove past the stadium he noted down their next home game being Friday 30th June.

Hopefully that'e enough time to find a way to be "busy" on that night!

I dunno, I suppose it wouldn't hurt going to at least one game though, it's been 6 years, I had many friends when I played and you never know maybe some of them still hang around and watch the Lightning play.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Dreaming Of Strange Women

I don't often remember my dreams although I do have dreams (if that makes any sense!?).

And I don't think that's terribly abnormal either, as most blokes similarly say they can't remember their dreams - maybe there's something in that Y chromosome that just deletes stuff while we're sleeping!

However, occassionally I'll remember something from my dreams and it'll bother me for the remainder of the day... especially strange ones.

Like this morning when I woke up I could remember fragments of the dream I had that night.

Here's what I remember...

  • I'm sitting outside a restaurant with a friend (who I think was Willo, but I can't recall) and this blue eyed long blonde straight haired chic (this was weird in itself as I very rarely sit outside when I go to a restaurant as you're likely to catch a whiff of cigarette smoke with your meal (yuk!)).

  • I can't remember if the blonde chic had a name in my dream (if she did I've forgotten it now), nor was her face familiar (I've ever met before).

  • She wore a black dress, but it could've been dark red, or navy blue (well my dreams don't help me distinguish colour, but I'm pretty sure it was black).

  • One quality about the restaurant was that it had a white wall out the front, I couldn't remember the name, although the place felt familiar.

  • When we left the blonde chic and I left together (don't know what happened to Willo), and I can remember the blonde chic being fairly tall maybe between 5'10"-6' with a good figure.

  • Last thing I remember was calling her on the phone.


Then the friggin alarm went off!

NOooooooOOoooooooOooooooo.

Don't you hate that?

I wish you could just dial back into dreams, just before your alarm goes off you see a message that says "To Be Continued" - I swear I'd get more sleep if that were the case!

Anyway, weird, huh?

I'm beginning to understand my cousin's definition of dreams. When we were young, he said,
"When you dream your eyes roll back and see what you're thinking!"

That had me laughing all day.

So, now you know why remembering my dreams annoys me: just what was I thinking?

Mysterious women, strange locations...

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

World Cup

Last night I stayed up late and watched some of the World Cup.

Unfortunately I've never been a big fan of soccer (or football - depending on where you come from). Several embarrassing episodes from playing the game throughout my younger years include:

1. Running into an open goal with the ball *right* there in front of me, pulling back ready to send the ball home and then... slipping over and turning it over the opposition. I didn't decide to get up for the remainder of the game.

2. Playing goalie due to my size. I guess everyone thought that our team would stand a better chance if someone plugged up 80% of the goal face.

So soccer has never been a kind sport to me.

But as the Aussies have finally made it this year I decided to stay up and watch their opening game against Japan.

And boy was it a great game. I thought Japan had it in the bag, but in the space of about 8 minutes, near the end of the game, Australia kicked 3 goals!!

Woohoo!

I think I've got the World Cup fever this year... but only when we win.

;op

And I'm so glad I've finally got my frickin plasma TV too.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Stop Monkeying Around

I think I've found the perfect woman...

Mystery Woman's Message #1

How can I possibly resist?

Mysetery Woman's Message #2

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Silly Saturday

Plenty of laughs tonight.

My mate Chris and I saw Break Up starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer whats-her-name.

Not as funny as Wedding Crashers, but still a good laugh.

Although... there were times where I felt out of place and I think that may have had something to do with the crowd being predominantly female.

Am I the only person who thinks Vince Vaughn playing computer games all the time was funny???

Apparently so.

Must be a Y chromosome thing.

And I cracked myself up laughing at the end where his Vince's bar mate was going to knock off that last bloke Jennifer brought home!! LOLOL

But the laughing didn't start at the cinema.

No.

We had a "moment" only 10 minutes prior to going in.

See, we had finished dinner at Han's Cafe scooted over to the Dome Cafe for a coffee and as we neared the end of our flat whites a single stout lady in her 50s walks passed us and says,

"You won't be able to see the movie from there."

Turning around to see just who in the heck is trying to lay a swift pick-up line on me this time I see an old lady smiling at me walking towards the entrance of the cinema.

"I've got x-ray vision," I stammered, smiling, hoping she wouldn't stop and tango with my wit (and yes that's wit with a small "w" it's NOT a noun - don't go there!).

Thankfully she didn't she continued walking entering into the cinema complex, but now with a smile.

And then it began...

WILLO: So who's your hot date?
ME: Listen, she might be old... but what she lacks she makes up with in experience.

WILLO: So where do you take her most nights?
ME: Oh, she just loves her bingo nights.

WILLO: I suppose her big smile wasn't her only biggest asset?
ME: You're right... you should see the size of her... of her... estate!

WILLO: Were those false teeth?
ME: Don't even go there.

And with that we walked in.

(I was ever so thankful she didn't watch the same flick as us!)

Yep, looks like I get all the hotties.

Friday, June 09, 2006

More Women?

I love statistics... okay so I'm a geek, but I came across this demographic table that listed the estimated population of men and women in every country around the world (well 191 of those countries anyway).

Here are some interesting stats on the male/female state of this planet...

64% of countries have MORE women than men.

Which country do think would have the highest proportion of women to men?

Had a guess?

If it was Latvia you'd be right (now I'm beginning to understand why there's so many Latvian women on the net nowadays - I might have to change my conspiracy theory).

Latvia have 16% more women than men.

Okay, which country do you think has more men than women?

Did you say China... well I did, but that isn't the case.

Have another guess.

Alright, did you say the United Arab Emirates?

Yep, the UAE have OVER TWICE as many men as women - so ladies, if you're having troubles finding a bloke you can swim to the Persian Gulf and be sure of finding one for you.

But what about Australia?

If you thought there were more women than men in Australia you'd be correct. There's nearly 250,000 more women in Australia than men, and being the nice guy that I am I'm willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good by ensuring they don't all die single.

That's right, I'm willing to have marry 250,000 times.

Hmm... wait a minute... this means that I'll be celebrating 685 birthday's per day as well as 685 wedding anniversary's per day. Which means I need to find 1370 perfect gifts PER DAY!

Good grief!

This also means that every minute of every day all I'm ever doing is searching for a different perfect gift!!

Eeek!

Thank God for eBay.

Okay, what about other countries where women outnumber men...

New Zealand has 3.4% more women than men - probably the reason why they have a female prime minister!

Canada has 281,000 more women than men... if those Canadian women shaved their legs more often they'd have no problem getting a bloke, but... I understand they DO need to keep warm.

;op

Surprisingly, the Russian Federation has 10.3 million more women than men - which shouldn't really come as a surprise considering Russians call home their "Mother Land".

Another Eastern European country that has a high number of women to men is the Ukraine - there are 3.8 million more women than men.

Just skip a little west to Germany and the trend continues with there being nearly 2 million more women than men. And France 1.6 million more women than men, oui?

Over the channel into the UK we find there is roughly the same difference as in France with 1.4 million more women than men. And as we swim across the Atlantic we find Mexico and Brazil have 2.4 million and 2.6 million more women than men respectively.

Lastly, if we take a quick glance at Japan and we'll see there's nearly 3 million more wasabi women than men.

And what of the US of A?

Would you think there'd be more women or men?

Well, if you're a single chic in the US of A it shouldn't be a surprise as there are 4.8 million more women than men.

And what about those single ladies, where around the world can they find plenty of men?

Here are the top places for women...

Nigeria there's 1.5 million more men than women
Bangladesh has 3.1 million more men than women
Pakistan 4.6 million more men than women
India has a whopping 28.2 million more men than women
And China tops the lot with a whopping 35.9 million more men than women

So if you're single and want to improve your odds, if you're male travel to eastern Europe and the U.S., and if you're female anywhere in the Middle East or Asia and you'll have no problems.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Toilet Humour?

These clips made me laugh all morning...



Foundation Day

Yesterday was another beautiful warm sunny day, which was odd considering that it's now officially winter.

I spent yesterday morning bike riding with Dan, and having coffee in Freo with Chris. It was a tough day.

Strangely enough warm weather on the Foundation Day long weekend isn't an abnormal occurence, last year was warm enough that I actually went for a swim!

I remember it as if it were yesterday because last year I was on a church camp up at Lancelin during the same long weekend. My brother, his fiancee (although not at the time), Jake and I were all at Lancelin beach kicking a footy around. We pretty much had the whole beach to ourselves, but as the day grew older we all were getting a little too warm... and as we soon saw everyone else began flocking to the beach too.

Soon shirts were off (bar my brother's fiancee) and it wasn't long until Jake was so hot that he couldn't resist the cold water any longer,

"I'm going in," he said.

"But you don't have any bordies," I replied.

"Doesn't matter."

And with that he strip down to his boxers.

"Are you coming in?" he asked.

"Well, I'd like too but I didn't bring any bordies because I didn't think it was going to get this warm," I replied.

"Just take your clothes off," he said too matter-of-factly which had me a little worried.

"Is there something you're not telling us Jake?"

"What?? There's hardly anyone around," he replied.

"There ain't no way I'm stripping down," I said fearing that if I were to catch a wave with only boxers on it may strip the only remaining article of clothing I have and leave me doing a 100 meter naked dash across the beach to my other clothes and as there was a woman present (with more approaching) I didn't want to risk it (it even brought back memories of this event!).

As I explained to Jake, in his Tweety bird boxers, the risks of losing his boxers in the surf he immediately answered with a,

"Just hold them up with one hand."

His response sounded as though he had done this many times before.

While my brother and his fiancee were working out how they were going to get wet, I told Jake that I'd prefer just going in my shorts - at least I was doubly protected.

He seemed disappointed, and hopefully only disappointed in the fact that he was the only one wearing boxers. Everyone else pretty much went in with the clothes they brought down to the beach.

Unfortunately as soon as my jean shorts were soaked they felt like concrete. Thankfully I had a belt on, which I had to tightened several times as the surf was strong enough in nearly pulling everything off!

When that day had finished and the sun was near setting we waved Jake to come on in - as we were now leaving. We considered grabbing all his clothes and doing a runner to the campsite where no doubt some of the chics around his age (13-15) would've gone wild, but my brother's fiancee noticed our scheming and quickly grabbed his gear before we could.

In the end Jake ended up walking to camp with just his boxers on ANYWAY. Obviously he DID want to impress the girls with his scrawny body and wet saggy Tweeties on!

Yet, there was one strange thing I didn't take into much consideration when Jake walked out of the water all the way to camp: he had one hand tightly clenched around the front strap of his boxers. Initially I thought he did it to try and keep his body warm, it wasn't until after his shower where he hung his Tweeties over the dorm window that I saw the reason for his tight grip...

His Tweety boxer's elastic strap had snapped!

I don't know what was weirder: Jake continuing to surf with broken boxers on, or, him surfing close to me!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Walking The Dog

I've been enjoying the Foundation Day long weekend by going for a few bike rides.

The weather in Perth has been fantastic, and I thought to myself what better to enjoy the sunshine than by sweating it out on the roads screaming up and down a few hills.

Today I went with a mate and as we rode a 30km bog lap around Burns Beach and Joondalup Lake we approached this stretch where up ahead a chic was walking her golden retriever.

Initially I thought the dog was roaming free as he was quite some distance away from it's owner, but as we neared I saw that the dog was actually on a leash.

When the chic saw us approach she ravelled up the lead around her arm until the dog was by her side.

As we passed there was still a fair length of lead behind her.

I'd never seen such a long lead before!

My mate Dan turned and looked at me, no doubt also surprised by the length of the dog's lead.

I smiled and nodding my head back in the direction of the chic we had just passed I said,

"The shorter lead at home is for her man."

;op

Found One

It seems like years.

No... more like an eternity.

Either way it's been too long.

What am I on this time?

That laugh.

You know... the one that makes my ears tingle.

At church last week I thought I heard it. I tried to locate the source after the service, but failed to locate who it came from.

Drat.

Thankfully the mysterious source returned: Bernie (yes it's a chic).

She has curly hair and last week she'd straightened it. Having noticed the difference I asked her,
"You washed your hair this week, right?"

She laughed!

And there it was.

That laugh.

Unfortunately she's a little young (I think she's 20), but that's not going to stop me from enjoying the laughter.

Aaah, good times ahead.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Toilet Run

Last night Chris and I went out and had dinner at Han's Cafe in Joondalup.

It was the first time I had eaten at that cafe in Joondalup as both Chris and I had dined at several other Han's Cafe's in other areas before (Carousel being the most popular one - I love it how you can order from the touchpad screens at the booths!).

Anyway, after dinner we headed off to Hillary's Boat Harbour for a coffee. When we entered the Dome I noticed three hot chics sitting on the center couch enjoying whatever it was they were drinking (heck, I couldn't even tell they were drinking anything... I didn't look that low!).

After ordering a pair of flat white's we sat down and chatted a bit before our coffee's arrived.

Chris took a sip and then said that he was off to the men's room, which after asking for directions from one of the Dome waitresses ended up being outside the cafe and down the left somewhere.

As I sat there on my lonesome admiring the... umm... coffee, several other chics arrived and I began wondering why I hadn't been to this place more often on a Friday night!

Damn.

Eventually 15 minutes pass since Chris had left and I start thinking what could possibly be taking him so long. When you're sitting there alone having nearly finished your coffee with a second one hardly touched new people that enter into the cafe kind of give you the "maybe he's schitzo" look.

20 minutes now pass and there still is no sign of Chris.

Either he really needed to go, or, he's caught up with someone, I begin thinking.

Another 5 minutes pass and a waitress clears away my empty coffee cup and motions to take away Chris' but I hasten a "no touchy" hand gesture.

Yet ANOTHER 5 minutes pass, totalling now half an hour, and there still is no sign of Chris. By now the three chics on the couch have got up and walked out and... umm... what... was... I talking about... again?

Oh yes, Chris.

When the three chics leave a group of 6 walk in and give me the evils as I sat alone sitting around a 5 seater table.

As more minutes pass I begin to think that maybe somebody has jumped him while on the toilet, and decide to give him a call before sending out a search party.

No sooner had I picked up my phone had I saw him walking towards the door.

About friggin time, I sigh.

As he walks into the cafe he sports a smirk on his face and now I begin to think that maybe he caught up with some chic or something (maybe one of the three?).

He hurriedly sits down and when he does says,
"Check this out."

He pulls out his mobile phone presses a few buttons and then shows the display.

I'm expecting a chic's phone number, or maybe even a photo!

What do I see?

1942.

An old fighter plane type game on his mobile screen.

"You had me waiting here for over half an hour because you were playing 1942 on the loo??"

"Yeah, and I've got a top score of 11,000 without even losing a life yet."

He downed his cold coffee in a second and laughed.

I came *this* close to throwing his friggin phone in the harbour.