If you ever see the words "Fouor Seasons" at a place that you're likely to spend the weekend, be afraid, be VERY afraid.
After travelling for some 4-odd hours in the eerie dark we drove down the main driveway of the Four Seasons Hotel to try and locate our place of accommodation. It should have been an easy task, I mean, 4 blokes, 1 place of accommodation - although we can all read maps we certainly didn't them in a small area such as this.
Or so we thought.
As Jon-Jon and I were the first party to arrive we decided to drive around and use our extremely observant Y-chromosome enhanced eyeballs to spot the place we were staying at.
"What's the number of the cabin?" I asked.
Jon-Jon uncrumpled a sheet of paper that had two large words written in red emblazoned over the page:
"R5?" I echoed thinking how weird it was to number a cabin with the prefix R. It then had me pondering on what the R could possibly have meant.
"R?" my mind echoed, "Ryan? Rebecca? Rachel? Rabbit..."
"Yell out if you see it," Jon-Jon said looking out the driver's side at the campervans and other strange contraptions that dotted the driveway.
"Can you even see a number?" I asked, finding it terribly difficult to see any further than several meters in front, "it's just so dark. Maybe we should ask someone if they know where it is?"
We both thought it was a good idea, and we made our way back to the front.
On our drive back to the admin building I noticed four cabins labelled 1 to 4, but no R and no 5.
"Maybe 5 is at the back there?" I said pointing into the bowels of the Four Seasons camp site where it seemed even shadows didn't escape.
"How about you go down out the back and I'll go and check the front desk," Jon-Jon said passing me the cabin key.
It initially seemed like a good idea and I leapt out of the car and wandered down into the darkness.
Hmm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, I thought after seeing Jon-Jon's tail lights disappear into the night, I mean, isn't this what usually happens in horror movies? Everyone splits up and get's taken one by one?
I kept walking further into the night, but every step screamed my whereabouts in the still night.
Eventually I came across a cabin, I found it terribly difficult to read the number located above the door post, so I grabbed the key Jon-Jon had given me and I tried the lock.
The key went in!
But the stupid thing wouldn't turn?? I tried a little harder tried wiggling it a little, but it just wouldn't budge.
And then something freaky happened...
Through all my pushing and budging the door on my left... creaked open!
Uh oh, my mind screamed, you idiot somebody probably lives here!
I quickly stepped away from the door and kept my eyes transfixed at the darker darkness behind the door that creaked open.
"Hello?" I asked sounding more like a whimper than a normal every day salutation.
I decided to check it out and went up to the side door and pulled it open. For some strange reason I could make out the forms and objects in this room even though there was no light - it's amazing what white walls can do.
As I stood there in the doorway with my wide eyes making sure I didn't miss anything that moved the dark objects began to take shape:
I was in the outhouse.
Well at least now I could take the opportunity to clean my pants!
But the job was still not yet done.
Where the heck was R5?
I had to move deeper into the bowels of the Four Seasons campsite deeper into the abyss. So, being the Aussie bloke that I am... I did.
The next cabin I came across had an eerier feeling about it. A large tree overhung the cabin as if clasping it in it's branches like a venus fly trap.
I approached this one very cautiously.
As I stepped onto the front verandah a wooden plank loudly creaked and broke the dark quietness. No sooner had I stepped onto the verandah had something above me in the tree rustled through the branches.
It made no noise, it didn't fly, it didn't shriek it just made a hell of a scarey noise moving frantically away from me.
It's just a possum, I told myself, JUST a possum.
I took another step on the old porch and again it creaked. This time a noise in the nearby bushes made my heart race a little more...
It's just a possum... on land, I reiterated to myself, JUST a possum on land.
By now I didn't care how much noise I frickin made so I jumped at the cabin door and tried inserting the key.
But there was NO door knob! Just an old keyhole.
Just where in the hell am I?
I quickly sped back the way I came content that I had tried "all" the cabins "down there" and that the cabin which had the key fit but wouldn't turn was the right one.
As I raced through the bush back to where I thought the Four Seasons admin building was I began to notice that this wasn't the way I came, and for some strange reason there was white sand every where with one pair of fresh tracks dotting through it.
This clearly wasn't good. Somewhere somehow I had taken a wrong turn, and now... just as I was looking around I saw a man's shape in the distance. It clearly wasn't Jon-Jon or the other boys.
The body was silhouetted in the distance and for a moment it stopped looked around to see if anybody else was around and then proceeded towards me.
Okay... time to run.
My body was ready for the next step in the fright, flight and fight response and high tailed it back to the cabin with no door handle.
I found it quite easily, but knew that time was against me.
I had to keep moving.
Behind me I could hear the sound of faster steps approaching. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
He's chasing me!
I had to move... NOW!
I quickly bounded off the porch and ran like grease lightning. I cleared about 100 meters before I heard the creak of the front porch I had just left from. That only meant one thing...
HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME!
My eyes scanned at a rate of knots as my heart and legs similarly moved at the same pace. I just couldn't see Jon-Jon or his car anywhere.
Where the hell could he be?
As I looked to my left I saw a dim cabin light and assumed that it was probably, at the very least, sign of life. I didn't dare turn around through my spirited sprint knowing all too well that stupid actors who did often met their demise after tripping over some innocuous thing.
The only problem though was that my heart beat, my heavy breathing and my running was muting all noise from the attacker that lurked no more than a 100 meters behind me.
Eventually I decided to slow down. I was nearing the cabin light and I needed to catch my breath. It was then that I decided to look behind me to see if I was still being followed... nothing.
Phew... maybe he had lost my trail.
I took a deep breath and when I rounded a clearing I saw the Four Seasons admin building... but with no Jon-Jon or car!?
What is going on??
By now I was getting a little angry. I had some mad man chasing me down, my heart was in my throat, and my legs were just about ready to collapse.
It wasn't until I was within a few feet of the admin door that I knew why Jon-Jon had moved on...
The CLOSED sign was displayed.
Great? Now what?
My mind began flickering through a few horror flicks just to make sure I didn't do anything silly, things such as screaming, or going over to the phone booth to dial Jon-Jon's mobile (which I wouldn't be able to recall from moemory anyway) were both a no no.
So what to do what to do?
I decided that the next best thing for me to do was to go through the camp site. Maybe, just maybe cabin R5 would pop out in my travels.
So I did. I went wandering through the campsite.
This turned out to be freakier than the dark scrub I had returned from.
As I made my may down the main stretch of road I looked to the left and to the right - just as Jon-Jon and I had done when we initially drove down, but now my eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I could see numbers where I hadn't seen any before...
"3... 4... 50... 51... 90...??"
What the hell is going on?
Nothing was making sense, and there was no sign of any cabin with the letter R prefixed at the start.
I decided that it was probably best if I walked off the main road and went up and down the cabins. This was a bad decision... a Hollywood horror type of decision, but I had no choice - I was getting no where and the night was wearing on.
To me it was either be captured by some madman, get eaten alive by mozzies for standing still doing nothing, or die trying. I preferred the latter option.
So, as I made my way along the cabins locating cabin numbers that were in conspicuous places I would occassionally walk past the back of a cabin that had a hungry German Shepherd dog that probably hadn't eaten all year.
"Nice doggie," I would whisper as I slowly backed away.
But the climax of the night was finding a cabin that had "5" written on the side of it. I went and walked through the gate to the front door to try the sliding door with the key only to be met with someone staring out at me! You could probably appreciate the fact that by now my heart was evacuating it's shell and high-tailing it back to Perth.
After bounding over the gate and running back to the main road I ran head long into a car...
"Hey man, I've found the place," he said matter-of-factly.
Not sensing any response from me, he wound down his window further and yelled,
"Come on, let's go... this place gives me the creeps!"
Just the creeps? I thought.
So what did the "R" stand for in "R5"?
Yes, that's right.
I don't know. I suppose it depends on how you view the Four Seasons layout. If you're looking from the inside out then the cabin we stayed in was on the right-hand side of the campsite, however, if you are like me, and looking from the outside in then the cabin we were staying in was on the left-hand side.
Here are some photos of the cabin and the place in general (it doesn't look as freaky during the day as it does at night, but if I showed a night photo it would just be pitch black)...