Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Aussie Women

On a previous post I learnt a little about North American women from my new American friend Jake who is staying in the land down under for 6 months.

As you may recall I was able to eke out of Jake where the best women in American live, so that if I ever travel to the States I know exactly where to go.

In return Jake wanted to know more about Australian women...

"So what are Australian women like?" he asked looking out at the road ahead.

Three words immediately sprung to mind:

"Down-to-earth," I replied.

"Does that mean they're like... boring?" he asked turning to me.

I laughed.

"No no, but that'd be a great opening line to use on Aussie women with your American accent though."

"I don't get it?"

"Well if you're looking for a way to meet an Aussie woman say, "I hear Aussie women are down-to-earth - does that mean they're boring?". But in essence, down-to-earth means that they're more laid back, more casual, yet also more outgoing and fun. In essence, I guess they don't take life too serious and proper as their North American counterparts."

"Oh ok."

He paused for a little while inserted the missing link of information into his memory and after we had stopped off in Dunsborough for a bite to eat asked a new series of questions about women in general...

"Can you be forward with Australian women?"

(I was a little puzzled as to what he exactly said, his American accent made it sound as though he asked "Can you be Ford with Australian women?")

"You mean Harrison Ford?" I asked.

Then he was puzzled as to what exactly I asked.


We had to go back to square one,

"Sorry what did you ask before?"

"Can you be forward with Australian women? You know, as in approach a woman and tell her that's she beautiful."

Jake obviously needed some help.

"Jake, let me ask you something. Let's say you inherent this stunning house and you decide to live in it. You soon find that people from all over the place walk past and remark on how beautiful your house is, but they never knock on your door because they're too afraid that someone with such an extravant house would probably be too preoccupied with their wealthy endeavours to spend 5 minutes with them. Let's now say that on one day you're out in your front yard doing some gardening and as people go walking past they tell you that you have a beautiful house. How does that make you feel?"

"I'd feel good," Jake replied trying to figure out what this had to do with Ford women.

"Right. Now let's say you hear this from 1000 different people. In other words 1,000 different people come past your house and say the same thing. Still feel good?"

"Yeah, but it would lose it's effect."

"Exactly," it was time for me to bring home the point, "attractive women know they're attractive - they'll more than likely deny it when asked, but the point is is that they've heard the same line hundreds of times from all different sorts of guys. If you want to impress a woman then DON'T do what other guys do - BE DIFFERENT."

Jake pondered this for a little while and I could hear the thought processes churning inside his head.

"Mmm, I see what you're saying."

"I personally like doing something that sees a woman smile and laugh, and if possible make it something funny about them..."

"I don't get it why would you make fun of an attractive woman?" Jake asked curious as to my unorthodox style.

"Because if there's one thing I've learned Jake, it's that outer beauty only lasts so long. I want to know the inside - the man inside the house so to speak. I want to see if she has a great smile and can laugh at things... even stuff about herself. To me it shows a great deal about the inner person, but each bloke has their own method of finding out the quickest way to sort the good ones from the bad."

I don't think Jake could clearly understand my rationale. I mean, I suppose for a 20-year old male it's kind of difficult to comprehend - I know I was no different at age 20. Only now does it make a lot more sense and I can also understand why women date older men: the young ones just don't get it.

"But the real clincher though Jake, is not what you say to a woman - it's how you say it."

It took me awhile to learn that little gem, but it's so true.

"Women can read your body language like you wouldn't believe. Every twitch, every breath, the length of eye contact, the stressing of vowels, it goes on and on... If you've ever got ulterior motives whenever you approach a woman you'd better watch out - they can sense it."

Jake was starting to get to saturation point with all this helpful advice. His mind began wandering, so I decided to wrap it up.

"Whenever you approach an attractive women, be calm and confident. If you're nervous it's usually because you're expecting something from her, like a date, so don't expect anything. Talk to her as though she were just an old friend, or bratty sister."

I decided to stop.

I wasn't quite sure whether I had answered Jake's initial question, but I gave him some pearls that I hope he took on board.

After a momentary period of silence Jake asked,

"I don't get it then, how come you're still single?"

I smiled, thought about whether I should disclose this blog to him, but simply replied,

"I've got high standards."


mandy said...

some definite pearls of wisdom in regards to approaching women. When did the world begin to think that Americans were all proper and by the rules?

Ryan said...

Since Hillary Clinton.


But yes, from the land down under North American women have a reputation of being proper.

Seems Aussie women are boring and American women are no fun.

No wonder I'm single!!!

FJ said...

Well, you could always try and conquer the British... or the Russians... or the Swedish... aww heck, there's a whole world of women out there!


Shauna said...

man, what misconceptions are out there about us american women!

Jennifer said...

From the Aussie gals I've met, I'd agree with the down to earth thing ... they seemed very laid back and all were super friendly.

One Aussie girl I met at my hostel in Poland was so laid back she left her iPod laying on her bed when she went down to breakfast! Taht's a tad too laid back.

In all honesty, I can say I've never met an unfriendly Ausssie or Kiwi.