Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Thanks For The Sun

Perth, Western Australia

28 December 2005

Santa Claus
North Pole

Dear Santa,

I'd like to thank you for the gifts you brought on Christmas day, however, I think there may have been a slight mix-up with my order.

Please note that I am extremely thankful for the classy watch you gave. I had no idea that you would provide me with something that I *really* needed, I just hope this new watch doesn't follow the path of its predecessors by sprouting legs and going on walkabouts.

I'm sure this one wont.

But, moving on to more pressing issues... what happened to Kate Beckinsale?

I received the Underworld DVD that stars Kate Beckinsale (in leather too!), but this was not what was requested...

I want the real thing!

And as for the cook, why did you give me a copy of Jamie Oliver's latest cookbook? What am I going to do with it? Roast it??


I suppose it wasn't all *that* bad, although you do have me wondering whether you dropped the right package at the right place, considering someone ELSE won the $30-odd million dollar jackpot.

Oh well.

I had fun, and the weather was fantastic without being too hot. So, apart from slight mishaps on your end, I'm prepared to meet the new year and will look to be an even gooder boy for next year.

Just don't forget where I live next time.

Your good little Aussie vegemite,


PS - you forgot to eat your apple... this has me concerned about your weight.


FJ said...

Maybe Santa got confused in the heat and thought he was Snow White, which is why he didn't eat the apple??

Just a thought.

I have the Jamie Oliver cook book too, but I received mine by email from a source who shall remain nameless, because some dill in the publishing house "accidentally" emailed it to the wrong person and now it's gone 'round the world, for free.

It's got some good stuff in it though.


Ryan said...

I swear I didn't poison the apple.


And what good is a dead fat man in a red suit with a bunch... of... Kate... Beckinsale... stuff... in... his... large... sleigh...

FJ! You've given me an idea for next Christmas!!!

You're naughty!

FJ said...

Well, let's see...

Dead fat man + unattended sleigh + unattended Kate Beckinsale stuff = very happy Ryan.

Mate, if you're quick, you'll nab the lot before the reindeer ring the police!


I'm not naughty. Not me. Never! ;-)

Ryan said...

Anything for happiness... I like your thinking FJ!


And as for the cops I think if I can clear Australian air-space with Rudolph and the gang I can flee to the north pole and live... happily... ever... after...

Wait a minute??

The north pole isn't notorious for its hot sunny beaches... it could be hell! (Not to mention that it's very close to Canada!)


You are very naughty!!!