The one thing that annoys me about people who try to help you with your "singlehood" is that they treat you as if you have some debilitating condition.
Unfortunately the doctors of this "disease" can be well-meaning friends and family.
Some of the classic responses I've had include:
- Attending a more larger church - I really don't think going to a church to pick up chics is where your heart and head should be at!
- Go clubbing - the clubbing scene has never tickled my fancy... you never know what you're going to get at some places! And considering I'm not much of a drinker or dancer I'd rather spend time and money elsewhere.
- Gym - while it's true I like active women, most of the women in the gym I attend are elderly ladies! But doesn't age know no bounds with love... in my case here - it does!
- Go online - umm... been there done that - things aren't necessarily what they seem! Assume the worst.
- Meet my daughter/female friend/sister... or, as was the case yesterday, my sister-in-law...
At church yesterday, my mate Craig came with his wife and a new female guest that looked very much like his wife: I gathered it was his sister-in-law. At the end of the service he came over and asked if I was chasing any woman.
"No," I replied.
"Are you looking?" he continued.
"Oh ok," he paused for a minute, looked at his sister-in-law who was a fair distance away playing with his kids and then asked, "Why not?"
Oh no, here we go again.
Considering Craig hadn't heard of my cut-and-paste response to why I choose to BE single I decided to set him straight. In one breath I uttered something to the effect of,
"I'm a firm believer that the bloke needs to provide for his family, especially considering the fact that I want kids and my future wife will be responsible for providing the family. I don't think it's fair that my woman should provide A family and I fail to provide FOR the family. I need to get to a position where I'm consistently earning a regular income. As they say - there's no romance without finance."
And then out came the same response I've heard over my response,
"But women don't look at what you've got."
I could have defended my position, but considering that Craig was in and out of work himself and has a wife and two kids I didn't want to cause any ruckus. I just let him know that this was my belief and I wasn't going to budge.
See, through the last 18 months I think people have had a hard time accepting the fact that I choose to be single. I think they assume that considering my last relationship lasted for 4.5 years I must be having withdrawal symptoms and needing someone to replace *that* void in my life.
But folks, when you've been in a relationship for that amount of time and it breaks up the LAST thing you want to do is get back into another relationship and do it all over again!
Sure, I'd love to have a wife, but not right now. I don't know whether this is by God's design, or my own stupid folly - I guess time will only tell.