Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Can You Entertain Yourself?

It seems as though Santa had some things wrong with the gifts I was given this Christmas (which really makes me wonder if he indeed did have my order right?).

I had watches that were too loose, bordies that were too tight, and there was no Kate Beckinsale.

So today I set about reconciling one of the above two items...

The watch.

Walking into the store today I presented the chic behind the counter with the warranty and informed her that I would need to take off a few links to ensure a more comfortable fit.

HER: Okay sir, if you could just try the watch on for me.

I slipped the watch on and when it passed over my hand and sat on my wrist she saw how scrawny my wrist really was.

HER: Looks like I might have to take off three links.

Having now been made the center of attention from all chics throughout the jewelry store I quickly flexed some wrist muscle and piped a "Just two".

HER: Okay, no worries then. Now are you able to entertain yourself for about an hour while we get this fixed for you?

Are you able to entertain yourself? I echoed. I don't think anyone has ever asked me that before...

"Have you seen my blog?" I bumbled without having my mouth pass through customs. Oops.

HER: (A little shocked) Your what??

ME: (quickly recuperating) Never mind.

HER: So, an hour then?

ME: Umm... oookkaayy. Should I just count to 3600?

HER: (puzzled) What?

ME: (smiling) Well you've got my watch should I just could 3600 seconds?

HER: (laughing) Oh, would you like us to give you a watch in the meantime?

ME: Nah, I'm a bloke. I can tell the exact time just by looking at the sun.

HER: (laughing) But what if it's overcast?

ME: Thankfully men created mobile phones (revealing my phone).

She filled out a slip and wrote down my details... my instructions were to come back in an hour where my watch would be ready.

Now... what was a bloke to do to keep himself "entertained" for an hour. Especially in a large shopping mall where every shop has emblazoned the deadly four letter S-word that turns every woman into a ravaging salivating heat seeking missile...


Hmm... well I suppose I could check for some more clothes.

Big mistake.

If there's one thing a colourblind person should never attempt to do BY THEMSELVES it's to go clothes shopping... especially considering the fact that PINK is coming back into fashion in men's clothing and certain shades of PINK, to a colourblind person, looks like WHITE.

Yes, big dramas!

Okay, so these were white... I think... and that photo's just for Jen - for product review. ;op

But even after selecting a few non-pink t-shirts to buy I asked the chic behind the counter whether or not any of them *were* pink.

One was!

I couldn't believe it... I could have sworn it was white!?

Oh well. T-shirt shopping done and that took a WHOLE 10 minutes.

Great... 50 minutes left.

And I was already buggered... I don't know how chics do it.

So, I decided to get a hair cut, I knew that would take at least 30 minutes... if there was a long queue... and indeed it did.

Still 15-odd minutes to burn.

What's a bloke to do?


If there's anything that can burn time faster its food.

After downing a light meal it was time to pick up the watch... my shopping day was over.

HER: Ah yes, Ryan.

ME: Sorry I'm late, I only learned to count to 12!

She laughed and asked for my hand.

ME: But I hardly know you.

She pulled out the watch and cocked an eyebrow.

ME: Oh.

After trying the watch on all was good and done. I quickly escaped the shopping center and am now in full recovery mode for the next strenous attempt sometime this week.

I don't know how chics do it.

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