Sunday, December 18, 2005

Being Unpredictable

If there's one thing that I stress to most blokes when they date a woman, it's...

DON'T BE PREDICTABLE

It's very very VERY dangerous.

See, if a woman can predict what you are doing and where you are at any point in time she can MORE than likely read what you're thinking too!

And that ain't good, because nothing will be sacred and the relationship will get...

BORING

Heck, if she knows how you tick then she won't need to ask you any questions or spark up an intelligent conversation with you. Why? Because she already knows what your answer will be! Duh!

I can remember a relationship I had with a woman where she knew me SO well that whenever I'd have a boy's night out she'd be able to recite everything that I had done.

It was so accurate most of the time that it was downright freaky! So much so that I thought she had been stalking me, but she didn't.

Eventually it got to the stage where she even knew what I'd order when I was out and even decided to take over the ordering process!!

Eeeek!

Again fellas: this is NOT good.

If you go to a restaurant with your woman and SHE orders for you, then you know you've been licked.

So what do you do?

Well, thankfully I'm here and I'm in a giving mood.

Here are some tips...

If your woman orders for you, after when she has ordered and the waiter is ready to collect your menu, say,
"And for ME, I'd like [and insert some bizarre menu item, like fish livers and octopus eyeballs]."

She'll look at you quizzically and ask,
"But you've never eaten fish livers and octopus eyeballs?"

Of which you should respond something like,
"I eat them ALL the time... "

Roll your eyes and add,
"I thought you'd know me by now."

Now be careful here fellas.

If you're eating a strange meal that you really never have had before and you soon discover that fish livers and octopus eyeballs aren't your thang then protest that this is the worst fish livers and octopus eyeballs you've ever had... possibly re-order another dish like sea urchin innards and fried black seaweed.

You can't whatsoever order the main that she picked out... not matter how loud your body screams for it!

You can't be predictable.

Etch it on the inside of your skull - it's very important.

Variety is the spice of life, and the spice of your love life too.

You've been warned... go now and do some random spontaneous act of... something!?

Do it.

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