Thursday, November 24, 2005

Women And Their Hair

If there's one area where blokes, especially colourblind ones such as myself, fail miserably its in the department of...

Women's hair.

But before I begin allow me to take a moments silence for hairdressers.

I feel sorry for hairdressers. They have to deal with women on a daily basis.

Think I'm being your typical male chauvinist pig?

Well... go ask them.

I have a friend who is a hairdresser and every time I bring up the discussion about if given the choice would she could choose to do male, or female or male and female hair what she would choose and hands down she says males everytime even before I've finished asking the question.

(Now you might think she's saying this because she's single and I'm single and therefore she's saying it to impress me, but you'd all be wrong: she ain't single.)

But it hasn't just been her either. I've asked this same type of question at nearly every other hairdresser where this topic rears its ugly head.

And the answers are always the same:

Blokes are better.

And for good reason to.

I mean a bloke will go in, ask for a haircut, hairdresser will cut it, job will be done and customer will be happy. No matter that there's a big gaping hole on one side of his head, no matter that he cut it too short, no matter that his ear on the floor - it's all good mate.

But, when we look at our female companions we see a completely different story...

A woman will go in, ask to have her hair styled/cut, hairdresser will style/cut accordingly, job will be done and... woman will be livid.

So where do guys get it so wrong? I mean if a woman goes to the hairdresser surely a bloke should know that 9 times out of 10 she's going to come back ticked off, right?


The problem though is that women don't tell their man that they've just been to the hairdresser and spent $100 on losing an inch.

The hairdresser *obviously* didn't listen to her fliptop-back-to-front-lollipop-curly-break-jojoba-bend hair style request, instead the hairdresser gave her the fliptop-back-to-front-lollipop-curly-break-jojoba-BLEND.

Big mistake.

And at this point the man is supposed to sympathise and bellow a heartfelt: "Oooooooh". (Along with any suggestions that have to do with breaking certain fingers of a certain hairdresser.)

But to save the relationship sometimes it's just best for blokes to put their woman at ease and say something like...
"Well, I thought you were perfect - obviously I was wrong. Let me know when your hair grows back."

And then leave.

Okay, quickly moving on...

Where do colourblind innocent handsome blokes, such as myself, get it wrong?

Well do I need to give you three guesses???

That's right: when a woman colours her hair.

Yep, I've pretty much put my foot in it every time: A brunette will have dark pink, or red streaks through her hair... and she'll ask if I can notice anything different? My answer after looking at her up and down and procrastinating for quite some time would be something stupid like: "Boob job??!"


Or a red-haired woman will have blonde streaks through her hair and I'll approach and say, "I've never seen orange hair before."


Or a black-haired woman will expect me to notice her purple streaks, and I'll say something stupid like, "What purple streaks?"


But, dear men, try your hardest at sympathising with your woman after she's had her haircut. If it helps just imagine that you've lost an inch after spending $100!

Yeah, now that'll help you fully appreciate their pain now wont it?



miss canada said...

Okay, so I'll admit (and I really hate to admit to this girly type stuff) that I am crazy when it comes to my hair. Not just crazy, but completely insane.

I haven't had a haircut in years that hasn't made me cry. Yes, my hair has brought me to tears. I have cried over the colour, the cut, the butchering, the style... anything. Alas, I must say that you are right on this one, Ryan. Girls ARE crazy in this respect.

Ryan said...

Thanks Miss Canada!

It takes a REAL woman to admit I'm right.

Can't say the same for another Canadian on this blog though.