There are some things that will forever remain an enigma to guys about women that should just be put in the "Don't Ask" basket and one of these things is:
If blokes ever go into a shoe store they need to actually ASK where the men's shoe section is, because 9 times out of 10 they will look at a shoe thinking that it's a male shoe, but oop... it's not it's a female shoe.
In fact as the man hunts around without assistance he will soon discover that the entire store is covered with female shoes.
After asking the lovely assistant men will find that they have to go to the BACK of the store, down the stairs, out into the dark dingy alley and pick their shoes from the rack out near the rubbish cans.
And even then there will only be two pairs to choose from: work shoes and non-work shoes.
A guy is done in 5 minutes.
Now take women for instance: a woman will have about a thousand pairs of shoes and even though they have this vast quantity they will still look around for that elusive pair.
To a bloke, if something is to be shopped for it needs to fill a large gap in his life, an example of this would be food. Now a bloke can live off the absolute last morsel of food in the pantry before he would even consider going to the store to stock up, and similarly, if he were to shop for shoes he would only go any buy another pair if the older pair had completely died after being resuscitated 10 times with sticky tape and super-glue.
Logical, isn't it?
But does this apply to womankind?
And to even make mention of the words "Haven't you already got a couple of pairs of shoes?" while she is "browsing" through her favourite shoe store is enough to see a re-enactment of Pompeii and Mt. Vesuvius - if this happens fellas: play dead, and fast, otherwise you could be getting a swift shoe imprint between your legs.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
But what about complimenting women on their shoes?
I hear you.
Logically it's the thing to do.
To a bloke, if a woman comments on how nice she likes his shoes he will likely wear those shoes forever. Unfortunately this doesn't work with women. A compliment is only as good as the depth, length, height, breadth, eye angle, face distortion frequency, body posture, and smile scale weight. You're going to have to be pretty good if you want to nail down a compliment with a woman and her shoes.
And even if you were to nail it, she'd probably think that you think that she thinks she has great taste in fashion and therefore to keep that thought that she thinks you have she will keep buying shoes to maintain the status quo.
(If that confused you, read it again... slowly... I had to write it ten times myself!)
But what about the inverse: do I tell a woman she has a lousy taste in shoes?
This is a question blokes will never be able to win.
Think of how a man thinks if a woman says she does not like his shoes (as an example): a guy will either not give a damn, or, he will not wear them again. I personally wouldn't give a damn - is a woman dating you, or your shoes?
But contrast this to how a woman might think about the issue:
If you tell her that she doesn't have good shoes on she will automatically go back in time and COUNT the number of times she wore those very same shoes with YOU and the number of times you DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
In other words: your nuts are coming off.
Even if you say something to the effect of: your shoes don't match your dress, she will again go back in time search through every outing she had with this dress and specifically recall all instances of the shoes she wore with this dress. If she can remember just ONE occassion with you and the same style of dress with shoes: your reproductive organs are going to be made void.
So, my advice to all the blokes out there... whenever you see your woman:
DON'T LOOK DOWN!
10 hours ago