Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Beautiful On The Outside But Hollow On The Inside

Last week I celebrated yet another birthday, which saw me tip over into my 28th year. Today I celebrate a dear friend's birthday who will be tipping over into his 29th year (this same friend was the one who in my "101 useless facts about me" list I couldn't see staying married for any more than 5 years (#46) and oddly enough the engaged couple have just recently broke up!).

And I must admit HE is taking it quite well... she is not.

Now while this is still early days, there are several things that my friend and I have come to pretty much agree on about women, and oddly enough this is:

BEAUTY

Weird huh?

I know, I know, you'd think two Aussie blokes would only really talk about beauty in a positive sense - a quality that a woman must have in order to get our attention - but, after dating a variety of beautiful women, both of us have really come to the same realisation that Sir Walter Raleigh did:
"Remember, that if thou marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all thy life for that which perchance will neither last nor please thee one year; and when thou hast it, it will be to thee of no price at all; for the desire dieth when it is attained, and the affection perisheth when it is satisfied."

My friend and I noted through our experiences that most beautiful women are actually quite hollow... there's no personality, or real sense of humour. With my mate's ex she was, I'll admit, a very attractive blue-eyed brunette, but as for a sense of humour and a personality she had the likeness of a dead ant... it just was non-existent.

So what has happened to my world view about women now??

Well, nothing much really. I mean, don't get me wrong: there needs to be some physical attraction, I just don't think this physical attraction should be the main reason couples marry (which is what I could see my friend was doing)... because as Sir Walter Raleigh states beauty doesn't last and doesn't satisfy: inner beauty (such as having a good sense of humour and a personality) does.

And I personally don't think that this is a new revelation for me as I really only prefer women who have a beautiful smile and gorgeous laugh, rather than the other qualities that men use to judge a "hot" woman by the size of her breasts and the length of her legs.

In fact, I'm beginning to believe that if an "average" (in the world's eyes) looking woman had a great smile, gorgeous laugh and a great personality she could easily have me won. An attractive woman, on the other hand, without these qualities would have a really difficult time, if not an impossible task.

Alright, one last thing before I go... my best mate's ex was what I'd term not really "mentally stable" either. And I think this stems from the fact that beautiful women like to get their own way... if they don't they chuck a sissy fit.

In fact, as for my mate's ex there was a true story I detailed in this blog last month about her, and if you read the short story at the end I cut it after my response... I deliberately didn't tell you how SHE responded, and would you like to know how she responded??

(Ok, I'll assume you're nodding...)

SHE CRIED!

Yep. Read it again: she cried. After busting her balls by having a little fun at her expense she didn't like it and... chucked a sissy fit! I couldn't believe it, but then again I could!

So... how does a man test to see whether a woman is potentially "mentally stable" dating material?

I reckon bust her balls.

Yep, you heard me: bust her balls. Make fun of her and see how she responds. If she gets offended by the things you say then she's not any fun, if, however, she laughs then it shows that she could be a real catch.

The trick now is knowing how to make fun of women without coming across as being a complete arrogant bastard.


Ryan

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