Lately our friendly neighbourhood has been up in arms trying to a catch what is believed to be a "sicko on the loose". Women have locked their doors and windows as well as armed themselves with lethal blunt knives and plastic spoons, while their men have been busy trying to locate this mystery offender.
Reports that have come to light include neighbours hearing strange noises during the day, such as:
"Ooooooohhh that feels soooo gooood!"
"AaaaaaAaahhh that's the spot."
"Don't go down on me... please don't go down."
But, hey, with summer coming along can anyone blame me???
Yep, that's right the sun has been beating down on these cold bones of mine and I've finally been able to strip one layer of clothing off (now only 3 more to go!).
So come you northerners, you've had your time... now it's our turn for some sunshine.
I even took a snap of the sun setting today, just so it could help soothe my cold winter blues...
Lastly, I've just been informed by the weird and wonderful web that my wife's name will be...
If you want to find out what your partner's name will be go here.
I've also found from the same site that...
My Mormon name is: Raystan Chelsey (What the...?!)
My Ghetto name is: Ass Machine Shizzlemah (ROFLMAO!!!)
My Japanese name is: Saruwatari [monkey on a crossing bridge] Kenta [healthy and plump] (kind of sounds like the opening lines for a joke now doesn't it?)
My Kawaii Japanese is: Bunrakuken Shidehara (I prefer the plump bridge-playing monkey Japanese definition)
My Terribly British name is: Terrance Heath (just call me "Terrance the Tiger"... rrrr... down boy!)
And My Trendy Baby name is: Grayson Keegan
Wherefore out thou Anna?
3 hours ago